Heinouscling Posted January 7, 2002 Share Posted January 7, 2002 Damn it! I'm pissed now man. Another partner just fell victim to the institution of marriage. He promised me his climbing would not be affected when he got married. I called him up the other day about getting on some ice and he told me "No dice". Now, I feel like I have a head full of lice (huh? that didn't make sense). Anyhow, I ran into him the other day and the damn mofo has already put on 20 pounds. Worse yet, he's joined the neighborhood bowling league. I shit you not. HE'S BOWLING FOR F*CK'S SAKE! Ok, in all seriousness, he really is bowling. His wife told him she would rather him take up a less risky hobby. Whats funny is he tells me that he is finding bowling to be just as much of a rush as climbing. I think he's in denial. Am I the only one this has happened to? And to all you married dudes, don't hammer on me man. I've nothing against marriage. I have a couple of partners married to cool climbing chicks. They don't climb together because they end up screaming at each other, but thats a topic for a different thread. I'm just getting tired of losing good partners. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DPS Posted January 7, 2002 Share Posted January 7, 2002 What I would be more interested in finding out is how married fellas get out at all, like Cascade Climber. His wife must be a very tolerant, understanding woman 'cause he climbs all of the time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allthumbs Posted January 7, 2002 Share Posted January 7, 2002 no mystery there...she probably has her own interests and desires. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dru Posted January 7, 2002 Share Posted January 7, 2002 like the milkman shows up every time he leaves for the weekend Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwayner Posted January 7, 2002 Share Posted January 7, 2002 It's all a tradeoff: you like to go climbing and you're wife likes to sit around eating bon-bons and watching Oprah. She will bitch if you're having some fun and she ain't. So to make her happy, you go buy her some of those General Mills International Coffee's for those special moments and then you sit down with her for a few minutes and tell her that you really are interested in her scrapbooking hobby. And then one day when it's raining (and you can pretend that you're bailing on climbing because you want to be with her), you help her with the damn scrapbook, but by then, you got her convinced to make a CLIMBING SCRAPBOOK featuring you and all your buddies and your favorite climbs. And they lived happily ever after. (The directions above require lots of drinking in the garage before you sit down to do the scrapbook.) - Dwayner, the love counselor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scot'teryx Posted January 7, 2002 Share Posted January 7, 2002 I consider myself another lucky one, as I married one that likes to hike and climb as well. Hell, 3 years ago she couldn't even beg me to go on a hike, now I am either with her, or leaving her at home when she doesn't feel like it (doobin it I think). Anyway - I always like to hear her say "Honey, when are we gonna bag another volcano?" Peace out Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erik Posted January 7, 2002 Share Posted January 7, 2002 well i ain't married, not even thinking about, but foir the first time even met someone that i consider before i go climbing. cause shit who wants to hang out with some smelly guys all the time. plus i really enjoy those hikes up to the beautiful lakes for some nookie. and before anyone jumps my shit for being weak. once i got myself a dysfunction i almost instantly climbed harder then before. gotta show off ya know. plus after a nice foray into the b/c with some bros a little lovin only makes coming home that much better. now all we have to do is get along all the time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CascadeClimber Posted January 7, 2002 Share Posted January 7, 2002 My wife rocks. I was not a climber, lame-ass skier, and Mounties Reject when we got married, so I can't even say she knew what she was getting into. She understands how important it is for me to get out, though she does not understand how scrumbing through some alder thicket or freezing my nads off on a wind-swept glacier at 2:00 AM could possibly be fun. I don't get out as much as I did before we had kids, but I get out plenty enough. What else can I say? She is a good woman and I feel lucky that she puts up with me. -LorenLame-ass SkierSelf proclaimed Lord of the Mountaineers Rejects Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bronco Posted January 7, 2002 Share Posted January 7, 2002 A good, understanding woman is paramount for a climbers career. But the cards, boquets and dinners out every once in a while don't hurt nothing The key is your wife needs to be convinced that she takes a higher priority than climbing. This can be a lot of work considering how much time you gawk at catolouges, train, plan trips and acually climb. Heinousdude: sorry to hear about your buddy. I've witnessed a few people act strangely like that and can tell you it's more him than his wife. He was looking for an out and found one, it's too bad he is blaming his wife instead of owning up to it. Bowling is a rush though (and monkeys might fly out of my butt) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhamaker Posted January 7, 2002 Share Posted January 7, 2002 I lost a good climbing partner for 5 yrs once. Fortunately, he eventualy got divorced. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr._jay Posted January 7, 2002 Share Posted January 7, 2002 ahh yes, always the climbers dilemma, a good adventure or a good warm body to be with at the end of the day. the grass is always greener somewhere else, isn't it? more power to those of you who have found both, consider yourself lucky. and for the rest, all you can do is play the game, and hope you're getting enough of whatever you need to get you through the night. and so what if its bowling? its keeping my grandpa going and he's over 90 now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jens Posted January 8, 2002 Share Posted January 8, 2002 Tough topicI like the scrapbook idea. Can I buy bon bons in bulk? Here are some things Cascadeclimber and I use on some of our trips. * When it is time to retire for the evening Go to bed and say you are going climbing "tomorrow". Wake up at 1:00am and go. * Pick real estate somewhat close to the hills, ice, skiing and "good" cragging (Sorry all you Olympia, Bremerton, Banbride island, and Tacoma folk. Try somewhere like Mt. Vernon, North Bend, Issaquah, or Monroe. Remember the traffic. It is better to leave on lots of little 6 hour bouldering, moutain trail running, or ski yo-you trips than to be stuck at home. * Find a job that gets out about 3 hours earler than hers. *Unpack geart to dry out of site. Out of site out of mind. Let her pick the movie. Another Richard Gere flick won't hurt you. You can pick out bouldering lines on the walls of the theatre. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icegirl Posted January 8, 2002 Share Posted January 8, 2002 I cook dinner almost every night, take care of the kitchen, and fix the gears on his bike when they don't spin smoothly... (I guess that's the guy version of flowers and bon bons) As has been already said, it's very important that the SO has something of their own to do. (other than mope around the house about you being gone) Mine is into cycling. If I know I have a long climbing weekend upcoming, I'll play shuttle bus to and from places like Vashon Island so he doesn't have to ride over from Seattle... It's the little things.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pope Posted January 8, 2002 Share Posted January 8, 2002 Sure you have to give up a little time....best damn thing that ever happened to me was getting hitched. Prior to this, I spent so much time in the mountains, I was growing fur and horns. Too much climbing can make a man exceedingly dull. Not only that, climbing as much as you want, whenever you want for more than a decade can almost take the thrill and adventure out of it. It gets to be like work, and while the magic and adventure of it all seem to vanish...the danger of climbing at your limit (and I ain't talking about pink-pointing a bolt trail) becomes more obvious. I enjoy getting out to climb more now than I did when I had all the time in the world, and when I'm not climbing, my life is twice as rewarding as it used to be. Not to mention all of the opportunities for exotic split-tail that confront a married man wearing a ring (the college girls think you're more mature than the other clowns in the bar..heh heh heh). Know what I had for dinner? The Frau made a special turkey-noodle soup, with wheat noodles made from scratch. Sound good? Trust me. And over the holidays, I put on about five pounds, eating home-made cherry pie, pumpkin pie, Christmas treats....even helped the little lady make some special Thanksgiving cupcakes (decorated to resemble Tom Turkey). Yeah, sure beats Top-Ramen with a bunch of stinky college roomies. My wife thinks climbing is just ridiculous. She's not interested, and that's the way I like it. Naturally, when it's time to escape, she gets jealous of my time, and I've got a couple of devices to help silence the complaints: Wednesday and Thursday, do your best to be a pain in the ass. Perfect this routine and SHE'LL be the one suggesting you go climbing. When you do stay home for the weekend, make sure your most obnoxious climbing buddies come around. She'll get to the point where she prefers that you spend time with them AWAY from the house. Bring a little something back from you big weekend climb. My Frau likes a jug of orchard-fresh apple juice (I've got her convinced one can only find this near Leavenworth). Finally, the best advice I got going into this arrangement was the following: the sooner you lose the argument, the sooner you get to go golfing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
To_The_Top Posted January 8, 2002 Share Posted January 8, 2002 Met my Fiance climbing. She doesn't climb as much as me. Understands it. Understands that climbing keeps me sane. Keep her number one like Bronco states. Hope neither takes up bowling. TTT PS she likes beer as much as I do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Posted January 8, 2002 Share Posted January 8, 2002 I'm pretty lucky - something my single friends constantly remind me of. But I didn't race motorcycles or climb until I'd been married over 5 years to begin with. I'm now at almost 25... Her passion is fire-fighting, and during the summer, she's gone a ton more than I am, putting out wildfires. She used to go out in the woods with me, but not much anymore. She knows why I do it, and it's a facet of me she both respects and would miss if I quit. Hey Heinous, let him go man, there will be others. And like Rodchester said, if he's using bowling to fill in the cracks, he's already gone... Tom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithKSchultz Posted January 8, 2002 Share Posted January 8, 2002 Keep it in a sack. Kids are the real problem. Not that I don't prefer to give them little buggers what they deserve mind you. It just takes a whole shitload of time. Watch your mags though. Olivia is a natural on skiis and topropes. I've already warned her about guys who climb too much. Her mother just nods. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr._Good_Time Posted January 8, 2002 Share Posted January 8, 2002 As Erik and a few others know, I am one of the lucky ones. My incredible wife is in great shape, nearly a black belt in a martial art, is a wonderful mother to our two little boys, and has still managed to climb lots of fun routes with me and others (Rainier twice, Hood twice, Baker, Outer Space, Maude N. Face in a day from home, S.W. Rib and S. Arete of S. Early Winter Spire, Canary, Givler's Crack, several winter walk ups, Stuart W. Ridge in a day from home (11 hours car-to-car), Ingall's N. Peak, S. Ridge, the Tooth S. Face, etc. Not real hard stuff by any means, but enough to give us a rush before going home to the baby sitter. We have busy lives to be sure, but climbing together a few times each summer and winter is good clean fun, whether we top out or not. In other words, marriage and climbing can very peacefully co-exist if you find the right person to start with. John Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David_Parker Posted January 8, 2002 Share Posted January 8, 2002 If this guy is a good climber and was passionate about the sport, I find it hard to believe he'll be giving it up. He won't be happy and that will erode his relationship and cause resentment towards his wife if he is quitting it for her. Give him time to figure this out. In the mean time, keep telling him about the great climbs you do and tell him you miss climbing with him. The funny thing about marriage (be prepared, I'm going to generalize here, so don't take offense if it's not you) the wife changes and the husband wants her to be the person he married and the husband doesn't change and the wife keeps trying to get him to change! A climber married to a non-climbing wife can survive better if the wife has something she is passionate about. Maybe it is a different sport or a hobby. What is difficult is when the wife doesn't have anything she is passionate about. Then she can't relate to her spouses' passion and why he is "obsessed" with climbing all the time. In marriage you will find your climbing will parallel your sex life. Quantity will deminish and you will seek higher quality to compensate! The less you climb the more you will concentrate on quality climbs/routes only and picking good weather windows to do them. My solution has been climbing trips and giving up the weekend warrior stuff. I don't get too bummed that the ice is not in right now because I know I have a ten day trip to Canada coming up! Marriage is way harder than climbing! [ 01-07-2002: Message edited by: David Parker ] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chucK Posted January 8, 2002 Share Posted January 8, 2002 Hey Heinous, Maybe if you'd a put out more, your partner wouldn't have had to get married. Go read some Steinbeck. Chuck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heinouscling Posted January 8, 2002 Author Share Posted January 8, 2002 Yes, I'm not saying marriage doesn't have its goodness. Like just last night when I'm watching this flick with Elizabeth Hurley in it and I'm sitting there with a full on fatty. I'm thinking "Man, it would be nice to have something warm and moist to empty my nuts into right now". Yea, I know theres much more goodness to marriage than just sex and I mean no disrespect. Too bad there arn't more gals out there that are into just sort of hooking up every now and again. That way all of the hard climbing hardmen of CC.com could keep climbing hard and still be able to empty their nuts every now and again. No disrepect to all of you hard climbing gals. I know there must be a few of you that are in the same dillema, eh? -Heinous Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allthumbs Posted January 8, 2002 Share Posted January 8, 2002 quote: Originally posted by Dru: like the milkman shows up every time he leaves for the weekend _________ I knew I could count on one of you sensitive types to un-sugercoat it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allthumbs Posted January 8, 2002 Share Posted January 8, 2002 quote: Originally posted by Heinouscling: Like just last night when I'm watching this flick with Elizabeth Hurley in it and I'm sitting there with a full on fatty. I'm thinking "Man, it would be nice to have something warm and moist to empty my nuts into right now". -Heinous__________________________Have you thought about a fleshlight, Uncle Pervie? Or how about that slab of Flank Steak you been saving for dinner? Little marinade? Sick bastard [ 01-07-2002: Message edited by: trask ] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wopper Posted January 8, 2002 Share Posted January 8, 2002 Heiney - You need a FTF. They are definitely out there and looking for the same thing you are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodchester Posted January 8, 2002 Share Posted January 8, 2002 I am married to a chick who climbs...but is not a climber chick. If she doesn't want to go she doesn't....but she doesn't stop me either. With me it is more the other things that get in the way.....house stuff and job. Bowling leauge?....fucking spare me. Write his ass off. He is gone. Never to climb again. If you really want to climb you can even if you are married. The other just has to understand. I wouldn't blame her....it was his choice. Some people climb as a phase in their life, like going to college, when they are done they look back and say "hey, I climbed this or that." When they get it out of thier system they stop and move on to what ever they are doing now. I had a long term girl years agao that I was considering marrying. But she had that this is a phase thing going, now it was time to move to the burbs and breed. No thanks...I am out of here. Anyway...shit happens and they fall to the wayside one by one. Sucks, but true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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