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Everything posted by allthumbs

  1. Nagging Question

    What level of conversation is acceptable when using a urinal? When two strange men are standing next to each other, dicks in hand, their backs to other men, there are two messages they generally want to relay to one another: I’m not gay; and I hope you’re not gay. (I assume the message gay guys want to convey is I am gay, but I’m just taking a piss). In order to convey this message, I think the following rules should apply: Stare straight ahead or look down at your own penis, as if encouraging it to pee. Do not look at your neighbor, but be careful not to look in the opposite direction from him. Looking away conveys a sense of submissiveness, which you do not wish to convey while standing next to a suspected homosexual holding his penis (he’s holding his penis, not you). Conversation is acceptable but should be limited to sports or breasts. I think topics to avoid should include fashion, baking, and ballet. In the unfortunate instance that you are at the ballet, the proper urinal comment should be "Man, those girls sure have nice cans." What do you guys think?
  2. What the hell does it have to do with climbing anyway? It also seems to be getting more hostile and political all the time. Personally I think it is detracting from an otherwise cool site and ought to be eliminated. Shit, I'll bet Big Lou and Ed V. would puke if they read half this childish, backstabbing crap. My .02
  3. Alpine buddy of the week

    I'd like to nominate trask as Alpine Buddy of the Week. I think he richly deserves it.
  4. eat shit and die muthafuka
  5. The toughest

    What's the nastiest, scariest, vicious, bitch of a climb in Washington? Just curious.
  6. Eating pork - Yeah or Nay

    It's an example of how a semi-scientific reason can get codified into religious dogma and remain so even when the original reason is forgotten. Pork carries with it the possibility of trichinosis when undercooked, so it would have been a sensible "taboo" to institute for the good of a primitive people. Now, it's just a vestigial of an old taboo long forgotten for it's source. Lean pork is actually a better food source than beef because it is lower in fat and has less cholesterol. How many of you chodes abstain from pork for some goofy religious reason?

  8. Greenpeace Pussies

    RUN [ 10-24-2002, 08:28 AM: Message edited by: trask ]
  9. Dru is a poser

    there's no denying that

    Never thought I'd say that, but I did. He scares the shit outta me now. He's outta control and is taking this country down...FAST!!! Impeach the fucker. That's all I have to say.
  11. Let's play the Hostage game

    You and your significant other are out for the evening. The establishment you're in gets robbed. You follow the advice of the politically correct and pass on a perfect 7 yard shot at the badguy. The LEO's show up and a stand off ensues. The badguy grabs your significant other and has her in the classic hostage pose... gun to the head. You only have a Head shot, and the badguy is freaking out. What do you do?

    We're all cheaters and lustful dawgs. Just say NO to a relationship....it ruins sex every time. You wimmim need to be more attentive to your men, and forget you ever heard the word "NO".
  13. Wet Tee Shirt Contest

    I think we should organize a cc.com wet tee shirt contest for the sistas. I nominate myself as Judge #1. Anybody else think this is a good idea?
  14. A riddle from my 8 yr. old daughter

    Q: Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? A: He was looking for Pooh. Oh well, I thought it was funny.
  15. The Personals

    sk spoiled my fun forgeddiboudit [ 07-31-2002, 04:49 PM: Message edited by: trask ]
  16. yo mama

    yo mama so smelly, an old blind geezer walking by asked her 'yo, how much for the shrimp platter?'
  17. The definitive guide to fag-flaming

    Congratulations to HRoark on being our first graduate!!!!! Homosmack... also known as gay-laming or fag-flaming, is a crude form of flaming based on homosexual jokes and insults directed towards a random opponent. We haven't even begun to start and already I know what you're thinking... "But Dude, why do we need a guide for homosmack? Isn't gay-laming supposed to be lame?" Well junior, first off never speak to me unless I ask you a question. Got it? Good. Secondly, yes homosmack most definitely IS lame. Unless you happen to possess the comprehension capabilities of a doorknob everyone should already be well aware of this. Homosmack is a bottom of the barrel flaming style typically employed by newbies, clones, and just your all around board losers. HOWEVER, every community needs their comedy relief. Not everybody can be an actual flamer... some of you will have to be 'tards and fag-lamers. I know, it isn't fair. In fact, it's a damn shame....yet it's the way things are and most likely will always be. So as a resource for you aspiring fag-lamers this thread will serve as the ultimate guide on how to become a homosmack artist in the vein of lowbrow fag-flamers such as GregW. Newbies, lurkers, 'tards... pay attention...and just maybe you can grow up to become a fag-lamer too. Follow these 2 examples and you can post homosmack like a pro... >>Example # 1. Make absolutely no sense at all when you're typing your post. Throw in as many long winded dick references as you can along with things that have nothing to do with...well...anything. Also try to throw in as many obscure words as you can. Even if you do not understand them or know how to use them in a coherent sentence. Such as..."Why don't you take your swimming pool looking, penisy cock dicked prickeroo vienna sausage encrusted, Ford Tempo driving, DOWN GOES FRAZIER! DOWN GOES FRAZIER! nut-busting on your mouth and XXXL t-shirt, carbonated beverage drinking, can you smell what the rock is cooking, GAX, PAX, JAX, LAX, I got no SMAX and I totally SUX CAX you got that...!?!?!" This throws your opponent completely off guard right out of the gate. It's hard to verbally smack someone back if you can't tell what the fuck they are talking about. Remember if you confuse yourself when writing your own post chances are you may confuse your opponent as well. Mix in a few of the local ass-leaches and groupies propping your mad skills to back you up...and Viola!...you Win! At least in your own mind ... and that's all that really counts. >>Example # 2. Talk about faggots, homo's, lesbians, dyke's, queers, dicks and more faggots as often as possible. Homoerotica is an important ingredient to homosmack. There's absolutely NO way in hell these guys aren't current on the latest copy of "Hard Riding Bears: Fists, Cuffs & Crisco"...you can tell by the way they write their Fantasy like posts, almost like they wish the shit was really happening. If you're going to compete you'll have to get yourself a copy of one of these homoerotic Romance novels yourself. (Just don't ask one of those shit-dicks...um, I mean "alternate flamers".... to give up their own well thumbed copies) Take passages straight out of these queer rags, then change them up to suit the occasion. Such as...Dave bent ScottP over the bed gently...taking his time as he gently caressed his muscled shoulders, he leaned over next to Scott's ear and whispered..."This is it sweet thing, I'm going to make you a man, a real man...a Mans man"...Dave moved his hand down to spread Scott’s sweet, virgin asscheek, with the other hand he pushed it in to a 5 gallon bucket...right up to the elbow of 80/90 axle grease took a deep breath and... You get the idea. Change the above passage up a little, rearrange a few words, and it could pass for excellent homosmack. Example..."You fucking cock gobbling asswipe, I'll bend you over the fucking bed, take you by your scrawny shoulders and push my clenched fist right up your brown ringed warbler...(Mix something violent in here and you're halfway home)...grab your well traveled cock/windpipe from the inside and pull it back out of your 8 lane, no entrance, exit only, 1000's of miles of cock served 7 inches at a time, Highway...errrrr...Guyway and shove it down your spoogerificly delicious, thank you sir may I please have another, glory hole you that call a mouth." Want to take it to the next level? The Mecca of premier internet homosmack? Well guess what folks, you've already completed the hardest part! Just copy and paste the two examples together...and you...will be legendary in the world of homosmack. "Why don't you take your swimming pool looking, no entrance, exit only, 1000's of miles of cock served 7 penisy cock dicked prickeroo vienna sausage encrusted, gobbling asswipe, clenched fist right up your brown ringed warbler Guyway and shove it down your spoogerificly delicious nut-busting on your mouth/glory hole...!!!...You got that?!?!?!" Easy isn't it? Sure it is! Anyone and their retarded uncle could be a competent fag-lamer. All one needs is a crude vocabulary, a taste for homoerotica, post while intoxicated, and it helps if you're a fan of Adam Sandler and/or Chevy Chase. There ya go. The biography of a potential fag-lamer! But let's not get too excited just yet, there is one small pitfall to being a career homosmack artist. What follows is the most important rule to becoming a premier fag-lamer: Never allow yourself to be dragged into fact based conversations. If you do, you will lose automatically. Fag-laming does not lend itself well to facts. How does one prove that ones opponent is gay? Unless you were in bed with him last night and have the polaroids to prove it -- you can't. Therefore do not allow yourself to get tricked into a fact based discussion. You will lose. Do not allow yourself to be tricked into an intelligent debate. You will lose. I know most of you aspiring fag-lamers aren't the brightest bunch and my inserting some totally uncool "rule" probably has most of you confused. Therefore, despite the excellent and detailed advice above more then likely you rejects are still wondering to yourselves what does a "good" fag-lame look like, and most importantly, you're probably looking to go the copy & paste approach. Correct? Ok idiots, what follows is just a brief add-on to the first lesson. Remember.... being an effective homosmack artist isn't about just calling your opponent gay. You have to say it like you mean it. Although the phrase, "you are gay" might be the overall theme of all your post, it leaves for a rather short read. So how do you get past that hurdle? How do you write a long drawn out post that APPEARS like you're actually saying something worth reading or responding to, but what's really happening is you're just calling them a faggot 100 times? Well all you have do is to fill your words with overly violent imagery and adjective ridden prose. (as described previously.) Here are some examples of premier fag-laming efforts. They were originally posted by REAL homosmack artist in their own environment and even praised as the best of the best one-liners. Memorize these quotes, sprinkle them randomly in your own post modifying a few words here and there and you will become a premier homosmack artist in short order. I guarantee it! "You're still a crippled half assed fuckwit rolling over for a belly rub and a chance to lick your own balls." "Why bother? I'll just throw a stick into the spokes of your rainbow colored tandem razor scooter and let the asphalt do the work ." "One more whelp out of you and I'll tie your three fingered left hand to the laces on the worn, splitsole converse hightop on your right foot, pull your poison wifebeater up over your mascera running eyelids, duct tape a festive bow to the sqeaky bald spot on the side of your sideways head, and send the entire gay package to the salvation army as a belated christmass donation for the homosexual underclass, you turkey slicking shit slurpee" "Quit performing analingus on your loose bowelled labrador and reveal your pointed head so that I can level it back out with my highschool's pottery kiln." "So maybe you should rethink your strategy, because sitting back with a glazed over look on your face while I yoyo with your heart isn't what I would consider intimidating, unless of course you're trying to drown me with your spunk infested man juices, in that case, oh no, you got me you twisty turny deep sea rod rangler." This concludes your lesson, Fags!! Good luck...and happy smacking....
  18. quote: Originally posted by Necronomicon: This one is about as offensive as it gets... you sound like a typical knee-jerk liberal whacko [ 09-14-2002, 01:48 PM: Message edited by: trask ]
  19. don't fuck w/ uncle sam

    click for fun
  20. Fucking Birds.........

    STFU you plunger-pumping jizz queen - philly's players suck saddle-bagged meat flappers
  21. Die

    twat-faced donkey humper
  22. Well, boys...

    WTF - Fiona Flaps beyotch, don't forget about Fiona Flaps, and Trish Fox. That bitch fucks like a street ho.
  23. Well, boys...

    I did the Willis Wall last Wed. It was a fun little outing.
  24. Well, boys...

    hahaha, we'll be sure to send his regards if we hear from him, you juicy mattress muncher.
  25. Well, boys...

    xenolith hasn't graced us with his presence in over a year, you dankish bat-fowling malt-worm.