best of cc.com Random Climbing Partner(s) Stories

[Crillz]

I still see that old guy around Index from time to time, never with a partner. But always somehow attached to the climbing essence. He didn't place much pro, he climbed hard, and he chit chatted like a mother f******.

 

Is that that guy with the dogs? Super nice, older guy, always shows up in the afternoons? He may have the record for accents up Godzilla .

[mneagle]

I once had an internet partner tell me on an approach to our first climb in Yosemite "There's a 45% chance I might be bipolar."

 

By the end of the week I upped that estimate to 100%.

[Going up?]

WOW i just read a story about my self... ouch!

Just kidding. I shared a story from last weekend and I was told it was funny and given a link here so I just can't help but share it. As coppied from the email:

 

Subject: MP Match Dot Com

 

 

(disclaimer) I wrote a novel, read at your own risk...

 

Well, I how do I say it. I should have gone skiing with Ed and Austin. A few months ago I put out an ad on MP for an ice climbing partner. and a couple of people responded. I was wanting to ice climb this weekend and so I solicited them. One of them responded and said he could only climb on Sunday. Lets call him Duncan. Although I wanted to ski with Ed I had my heart set on getting some ice climbing in this weekend. So, we agreed on Sunday.

A bit later he sent me info on a route and said "check this out!" and seemed quite stoked about it. It was the north face of Longs peak. This a great solo, 2.5 pitches of low angle rock up Longs with a shit-ton of walking above and below it. But not something I want to waste a "partner" on... red flag number one. So, I called him up to discuss a route and details. As we were discussing routes in the area it was clear that I would be leading everything. Red flag but I was OK with that. Then I asked him a climbing credentials type question. To which he responded "well, I mean I climb 5.11 in the gym." (red flag #3) I was taken back to say the least. I mean we are getting ready to do a mixed ice climb and he refers to gym climbing?... totally unrelated to any skills you would need mixed or ice climbing on a bigass mountain. So I asked him "have you done much ice climbing?". And he said "yeah I climbed some ice a couple of years ago". (ambiguous and dated answer... red flag #4) I also ask him about this fitness and he quickly replies "Oh yeah I'm fit". We decided on Alexander's Chimney a 5 pitch M4/WI4 classic line up to Broadway ledge, from there we would take any number of routes up to the top from the ledge, likely Kiners (a mellow but big mountain jaunt).

I am out climbing dry rock the day before with a good friend. When I get home I have a message on my phone. Duncan left a message saying it was "urgent". So I called him back and he was concerned about the wind. Rightly so, high winds suckass. But what surprised me is that he was specifically concerned about "spindrift". He felt that spindrift was, i don't know... dangerous? I am still unsure what his concern was. We talked a little bit about logistics and hung up. I played hide-and-go-seek with the kids, put them to bed and went to sleep early.

0150 the next morning my alarm goes off. I juice some beets, carrots and apples and have a big bowl of fried rice with sunflower seed butter to fuel up for the big day of climbing. I roll into the parking lot about 5 after 0400 and walk up to a guy packing stuff at the back of his car and say "Are you Duncan?" He says he's not so I go back to my car to wait. It's almost 0430 and I am picking up my phone to call him when another car rolls into the lot. Of course its him, he apologizes for the late show. He is ass and elbows getting ready and he mentions he just brought a mountain axe. I was a bit shocked, I told him we would have to climb another route. He said some guy told him it would be fine "besides the route in the summer is only like 5.5". I explained to him that rock climbing in crampons and on ICE is not directly comparable to the YDS of rating routes. I said he would need a second tool for us to do the route. He said he had one and showed me his pack. To this pack were two 70cm axes, they were huge and hugely inappropriate for the route at hand. But you could climb the route with those. So I relented and he kept packing. I told him to leave any pro because I had the rack squared away. I also told him that he wouldn't need the chalk bag attached to his harness. I told him he didn't need to, but he insisted on putting on his harness in the parking lot before the 3+ hour approach.

We were about ready to leave and his pack was looking odd. There were a pair of gaiters hanging down to ankle level from one of his ice axes, helmet hanging freely from the other, a pair of traction spikes (the kind for trail running) and the rope wrapped up around all the clutter. I flaked the rope for him and secured it to his pack ,but one thing really bothered me. He had the traction spikes but no crampons that I could see. He assured me that he had a pair of "kick ass crampons". In fact he though it ridiculous that I thought he would show up to ice climb with traction spikes for crampons, they were "just for the icy trail". Honestly, Duncan, at this point I would have not been surprised one bit.

I am starting to get cold standing there as he does the final touches to his "kit". SLR camera slung over his neck and shoulder. Insulated water bottle on the belt loop, it falls to the ground, he picks it up, it falls against my foot, finally he has it attached to his pack belt. And to top it off a fixed blade knife attached to his waist... I shit you not. 0505 we leave the parking lot.

0506 "STOP" I stop, I think I forgot my crampons. Really? I thought we just covered this?! Pack bomb: he unbuckles his belt and his water bottle falls to the ground, camera, puffy, gloves. He occupies a huge section of the trail with all his crap and people are trying to get around him in the powdery snow. Yep he has them. 0508 "STOP" I stop, "I need to adjust my layers". He takes a full minuet to take off his hat and gloves, "OK I'm good". I continue to hike at a good pace to warm up and I notice he is falling behind. I stop at a short cut to wait for him. He shows up sweaty and heaving. "here's a short cut lets take this" we take it. He calls out to me but I ignore him. A short while later he calls out to me again. I respond back but there is no reply. So I walk down to him. We are MAYBE at 9,000 feet at this point and he is obviously hypoxic. I tell him that he has AMS and he defends himself stating, practically slurring, "I've climbed... hundreds of... peaks", "I'm usually the one passing people", "I'm in the top 5% for the 5K". I try to explain that fitness is not an indicator for adaptation to altitude and I try to give him an out because I see where this is going. I say to him that I have found a correlation between lack of sleep and poor altitude performance. I ask him how much he got and he said 1hr. "There you go" I said "You know, we have a huge day ahead of us there is nothing wrong with turning around". I look at him, he looks relived.

0525 I give him his second rope, he returns to the car. I stash my rack and harness and head up the trail to climb something alone.

 

for the record I dont blame him i blame me.

[matt_warfield]

Good story.

 

The worst is when you get on the route with them then you would really blame yourself after the epic.

[layton]

best thread EVAR!!!!

 

wonder how many trips I've ruined? Probably quite a few

 

[matt_warfield]

-Leading shirtless when partner comments on how good my back looked; gaydar was off the hook

-Multiple partners who get distracted with the sights or people and have 10' of slack out and a loose hand on the belay device.

-One partner who led then belayed by just looping the rope through the anchor

-One of my errors was trying to help someone train for big wall aid and the first pitch involved a traverse with back cleaning. I took a swing cleaning and said screw this.

[astrov]

very enjoyable, and concise. "Pack bomb"; love it.

[montypiton]

1988 - Yosemite Valley lookin' for a partner for the Nose, because mine had developed some foot issue the prevented wearing rock shoes (turned out to be real - he didn't climb for two years). Put out the word in Camp Four, and hook up with a Canadian guy -- says he's mainly a caver, got a lot of aid experience. No worries, says I, I don't expect to be quick - in fact I tend to be slower than average on aid (although I did have a handful of walls under the belt at that time, including one FA in Alaska - Broken Tooth)

 

So we're off - packing my haulbag, I specify lining the bag with our sleeping mats, and packing soft stuff outside, hard goods towards center. At Sickle Ledge, after an afternoon start, I find a hole worn in the bag -- tuna cans he'd placed right against the bag. I bitched, he apologized, we moved on

 

Next morning, in the stovelegs, his lead slows to glacial pace. We get passed. I have a strict rule about second-guessing partners' leads, but in this case I make an exception: "trouble?" gets the response "I've never really climbed cracks before..." Whaaat? Oh - shit!?!? But, the next ledge we come to has a long line of lidded five-gallon buckets on it -- food and drink treats left from the Star Trek movie crew that had only vacated the route a couple of days earlier. We pronounce this a great reason for a rest day... even taking a day off and gorging ourselves, we leave the ledge hauling more food and drink than when we'd arrived.

 

I manage to make a complete clusterfuck of the King Swing - somehow completely miss the intermediate pendulum anchor, and do the whole swing as one humongous pendulum -- takes me several tries. We get passed again...

 

Higher on the route, we stretch a day past sundown. My hookup partner finishes to the ledge in pitch dark. Funny thing is, the darker it gets, the faster he gets... he REALLY IS more of a caver!!! We enjoy a great laugh after that...

 

He draws the Great Roof lead, and thirty - five years later, I swear I still feel the pucker from jugging that pitch. That means I get pancake flake, to which I have looked forward for years - but by this time, I just want off, so to hell with free, "french" is just fine!!!

 

Finally top out, get down a day later than planned (but worth it! Thanks Cap'n Kirk!!!) to find my (now ex) wife camped with some guy in his van...

 

As it turns out, though, I just heard from this climbing partner a month or two ago... after his FORTYY-EIGHTH lap on the Captain! "Pass the Pitons Pete" Zabrock has, since that first dubious wall, become something of a Valley fixture... somehow young Keenwesh got steered to Pete for beta in the Valley last year, my name came up, and I got an email from Pete. I'll be dipped in shit...

Edited January 28, 2013 by montypiton

[matt_warfield]

That's some good shit. I once had a partner who took my gf climbing when I was otherwise busy and I ended up without either the climbing or a gf. But I managed since climbing is forever while relationships unfortunately are not.

 

My favorite partner story was Yosemite and I just read about it at the time. A dude (American) and a chick (Latino) connect via bulletin board and can't communicate at all and get stuck on the Nose for a few days in a storm. Think about that scenario.

Edited January 28, 2013 by matt_warfield

[rob]

forgetting the rope. Oops

[denalidave]

forgetting the rope. Oops

I met up with a random lawyer partner from New York 20 years ago at Red Rocks. On the hour long approach, he tells me he wears a butt plug when backpacking so as not to have the shits the whole time. I suggest a better option is just treat the water before drinking it. That was just about when I realized I forgot the ropes in the car. Oops.

[Water]

forgetting the rope. Oops

... On the hour long approach, he tells me he wears a butt plug when backpacking so as not to have the shits the whole time. ....

 

wtf wtf wtf wtf

[denalidave]

forgetting the rope. Oops

... On the hour long approach, he tells me he wears a butt plug when backpacking so as not to have the shits the whole time. ....

 

wtf wtf wtf wtf

Yeah, WTF. Who wears a butt plug period, let alone for days in the wilderness? In hindsight, I think maybe he was gay and that was his attempt to broach the subject. It was a one day partner affair...

[Bronco]

Anyone have new stories?

 

I've made out very well with the last several partners from CC.com but still have a couple from long ago:

 

Over 10 years ago I had a couple of experiences taking "5.10" climbers to Index on separate occasions that were awesome. One involved an Iranian who insisted on belaying me with his figure 8 device in belay mode while he stomped on my rope. He was pretty convinced the Iranian Army was the end all be all of climbing instruction. I wasn't quite sure how to respond and feigned a stomach bug.

 

The other one had never climbed outdoors (unbeknownst to me) and had a difficult time with the exposure on Great Northern Slab, which we climbed first. We then went over to the Lizard and he totally lost his composure on the roof/undercling while I belayed from above, oblivious and unable to hear his cries to be lowered until the train passed. I finally lowered him back to the belay and rapped over the roof to get him settled down and finish the rap. Kind of awkward ride home but he went on to climb a bunch of stuff in the ensuing years so it must not have been as traumatic as it appeared.

[Maine-iac]

Few years back I met a Russian online to climb with while in Chamonix for a few days. He said he was "new" to the sport, but I figured if you are traveling to Cham to climb you might be alps new, but not new new. He agreed to all the climbs, and knew the skill level involved.

 

Showed up at his hotel, so we could get in line for the first tram. He is late. 15mins later he opened the door and let me in saying he had to have breakfast first.

 

Then after breakfast he said he needed to pack his backpack. His school backpack- not backpacking/climbing pack.

 

Then he said his crampons didn't fit his boots and he had to find an extension bar before we left.

 

Find the crampon bar, spend $$$ and get on the Midi tram. He manages to loose his ticket at the halfway station (didn't tell me, just disappeared- I got on the tram thinking he was right behind me) so I go to the top and see he is not there. 30 minutes later he shows up saying he didn't check all of his pockets after all.

 

Manage to rope up, and get down to the flats, where I notice he is missing one of his crampons. He didn't notice until I pointed it out... Found the crampon, then proceeded to step on the rope a few times.

 

Get to the base of probably the most classic climb right off the Midi. Go up. "Running belays" the whole time, slow as Fcuk.

 

Looses a nut- just forgets to take it out of the rock. Make the committing rappel- find out he has never done one before.

 

8hrs in to a supposed 5hr climb, 2 or 3 pitches away from the top, and the tram, we hit the "real" climbing. 5.4 with fixed gear. I lead, and put in more gear to pull on, plus the rock has drilled crampon holes in it. Sit at the belay and wait... He gets 2 moves off the ground then says he can't do it. I tell him he has no choice and he has to. He tries- but can't/doesnt want to. I rappel back down and ask what the Fcuk is going on with him. Tells me he can't do it. I have a pounding headache from going from 3k-12.5k in 10 minutes and tell him to smarten up. We look to back off down a few gullies. Realize I would loose all of my gear and they were death gullies because of loose rock.

 

Decide to sit for the night and wait for people to come up the next day to help us out. Have no warm gear because again, this is the easiest route in Cham and we had 10hrs of daylight to do a 5hr climb.

 

Storm starts coming in. He calls the PGHM. They say they can't fly because it is too late at night but they will see if they can start up the tram. (2am mind you).

 

3am- a spotlight shines down on us, I give the Russian the middle finger. A rescuer is lowered down, and walks over to us and tells us to get going. I am waiting with all my shit. He can't get his crampons back on.

 

Ride back down the tram with all the PGHM, he exploded his backpack in front of them all and needed help stuffing it all back in there. I bang my head against the wall and try to apologize in what little French I speak.

 

Says he will meet up with me the next day to pay for the gear he lost of mine. Emails 2 days later to say he flew to the south of France. Never got any money or a thanks/apology.

 

Once back at the hostel/bar (when it opened) I proceeded to drink away my sorrows, and met a Brit who said he was going on a hut trip for 3 nights and wondered if I wanted to come. Fcuk it- I'd already been rescued can't get much worse than that, and this was just walking. Joined up with him, had the time of my life!

[cam yarder]

not exactly a partner story, but close.

 

A couple summers ago, my friend Todd and I climbed and skied the Fuhrer Finger on Tahoma and encountered a very ill-prepared skier high on the Nisqually.

 

We had climbed the Fuhrer and the lower portion of the Nisqually and were melting snow when we saw a solo man below us on skis slipping and sliding around with every step. We had switched to boot crampons at this point and just figured the skinning was difficult.

 

He eventually caught up to us and the crevasse we had just crossed, which involved a steep traverse above it. He seemed worried and communicated as much so we offered him a belay but he declined. Still on skis, he pulled his ice axe out and started across the traverse. We watched in disbelief as his skis skated around on the hard snow. He then proceeded to slip and started sliding towards the gaping crevasse. At the last second he self arrested with his axe, one ski dangling in the void.

 

He sketchily gathered himself, finished the traverse, and embarrassed, introduced himself. "Coloradan. Climb 14'ers for breakfast, sometimes in winter."

 

At this point I noticed that his skins have not been cut to fit his skis. The skins completely overlapped his skis like the bun around a hot dog.

 

He then decided to switch to boot crampons. But his crampons did not fit his tele boots at all. We tried to tell him that the crampons did not fit his boots, but he completely shrugged it off and claimed he'd used them for dozens of 14'ers in winter.

 

He took off in a hurry and proclaimed he was off to ski the Kautz. We watched in horror as he bypassed the mellow glacier slope to the right and tackled a more direct AI 2 step with his shit crampons. His feet cut multiple times but somehow he made it to mellower terrain above.

 

We continued with our climb and descent and arrived at Paradise in the evening, where a ranger asked if we knew where the "sketchy solo guy" was. Apparently the rangers had been watching this guy all day with binoculars because he didn't register for a solo permit. He'd even triggered and almost been caught in a slide on the lower Wilson.

 

We saw him later that evening in Copper Creek restaurant. He'd successfully skied the Kautz but was stopping for a bite to eat before he headed to the hospital to have a self-inflicted crampon hole in his leg stitched together.

 

[Rad]

[curtveld]

In college, I was looking to head to Yosemite for Spring Break but needed a partner. One of my favorite classmates was a german exchange student, 'Michael', who was great company and always up for a good adventure, especially if travel was involved. He didn’t have much climbing experience, but was athletic and a quick learner. I figured he’d be fine company for the long drive and we could each find other partners if we weren’t a good match on the rock. All that was true, and we had a great week traveling, camping and climbing.

 

High on my list was the Nutcracker, and Michael was climbing well, so we jumped on it with me doing the leading. Things were going great and we were soon re-racking below the dreaded ‘mantle’, which I mentioned was quite famous and would be the crux of the climb. All was understood, so I led on up, fiddled in a decent nut, then tentatively tried the next couple moves toward the mantle. Figured out the sequence, but couldn’t quite commit to the big move, so backed down to the nut to shake out. Yelled down that this was it and to watch me closely; I could see he was nearly as excited as I was nervous.

 

Launched back up to fire the mantle and glimpsed down to check that the rope was pulling smoothely and all, and got the big surprise. Michael was leaning back on the anchor, holding a camera with both hands, adjusting the focus to capture the big move, with the belay end hanging there loosely. “What the hell are you doing, Michael?!? You’re supposed to have me ON BELAY!!” Without the slightest concern, he replied “Oh… but you vill not fall!”

 

I convinced him to humor me and put me on belay, regardless of his confidence in my skills. He shook his head, put away the camera, and grabbed the rope. I grunted through the mantle and completed the pitch, which only confirmed his prediction. I brought him up and gave him a firm lecture that he should NEVER release the rope until the leader was anchored. Though he complied, I’m not sure he ever quite grasped the urgency of my concern. Maybe that's a typical european attitude, but we had a hell of a fun week, regardless.

 

[ivan]

get that man a grigri

[ivan]

don't know if i told this one way back up thread, but it's short enough:

 

years ago w/ this guy i'd recently met and seemed solid enough - drove all night from portland to get in position for a car to car on the east ridge of forbidden - we walked about 200 yards up the trail before he turned and said: "i think you've been reading too much mark twight" and promptly walked back to his car. following after him, asking excitedly what he was doing, he finally managed: "hey, let's just go climbing at broughton's today."

 

would say that was a total bullshit loss, but i met the great joshk in the parking lot that morning and it was the start of a beauuuuutiful relationship

[JasonG]

It's Baaaaaaccccckk! 

Be sure to read cfire's story on page 2. 

ALL TIME CLASSIC CC.COM

[olyclimber]

Page three of this thread has Ryan @akicebum  and marc @marc_leclerc   sharing bad partner stories back to back.  Ryan's are pretty good.

 

[olyclimber]

On 3/2/2007 at 11:15 AM, cfire said:

I had the following adventure last summer in the Bugs. I wrote this account to share with friends afterwards. I even took notes to make sure I woould be accurate as it was happening as it was all so bizarre.

 

 

Preface:

 

I'm just a normal guy that likes to climb when I get a chance. I have a wife, 2 kids, a house, a dog and a job. I don't get out a hell of a lot, but I'm thankful for the time I get. I usually get a one week trip per Summer along with other shorter outings. I think I get along fairly well with others and I've climbed with quite a few others and rarely if ever had had any "issues" with partners. I'm not any Super Alpinist by any means, but I like to think I move pretty quickly and safely in the mountains and have been fortunate enough to climb all over this continent as well as Europe and South America.

 

My wife has kept me around for 18 years and I have a great time with the people I work with. When I'm out climbing I like to flip crap and expect to get it back. To me that's part of being out with the boys. The reason for this information will come clear when you read my story.

 

Disclaimer:

 

As my 6th grade art teacher would attest to, I have little if any creativity. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried. I like to tell a good story and on occasion have embellished a little, as I think most people do sometimes, but this story has NO exaggerations. I realize that this is just one side of the story. I'm sure my former partner has a different view. I do promise that all of the quotes are entirely accurate as I had time during this adventure to write them in my journal. The names of the key players (my former partner and his new friend) in this true-life story have been changed to protect their identities. Plus I don't want to discourage anyone from the pleasure of climbing with my former partner in the future.

 

The Story

 

I met Jethro about a year ago after looking for a partner on cc.com. We went cragging together a handful of times and we seemed to get along quite well. He climbs at about my level and we do similar work so had stuff to talk about. I mentioned in April that I wanted to get back to the Bugaboos as I hadn't been there in about 4 years. I would be my 5th trip to the Bugs, but I love that place and really wanted to try and climb the Becky/Chouinard route on South Howser. Jethro said he had wanted to get there as well. He had never been. We made tentative plans to go there in August. Jethro was going to Yosemite in June to try the Nose with 3 others.

When he got back, I contacted him and he was still game to go to the Bugs the second week of August. He could only get 6 days off, but I said we could make it work. That would only leave 4 days of climbing when factoring in the 10 hour drive each way. The weather in the Bugaboos is extremely fickle, so I figured we might get 3 good days if we were lucky.

 

Jethro picked me up at 10:30 instead of the agreed time of 9 am the morning of departure. Usually not a huge deal, but I knew that this would make it difficult to do the drive and hike in to the hut that same day. Still, I was just happy to be on the road and didn't even mention it. On the drive, Jethro mentioned that he hadn't been getting much sleep and wouldn't mind getting home a day early so he could rest before going back to work. I said that we would be limited on time as it is and I hoped to do some good climbs so we should play it by ear and see how the weather treats us.

The drive goes good and we arrive at the trailhead at 9:30pm and slept in the car. I thought we could get up early and get to the hut and then climb McTech arête or something else with a short approach. When we get up I lay a tarp out and tell Jethro that he can lay his stuff out to pack as he just had all of his stuff in a HUGE haul bag in the back of the car. I was already packed and ready to go. Jethro said that he didn't feel like putting the effort in to packing so he was just going to take the haul bag up as he can just throw stuff in and go. I said that was a little strange. I've worn those things and they aren't the most comfortable things for packing and he had a regular big pack that he could use. He went on about how it really was a pretty comfortable pack and it wouldn't be a problem. Whatever dude, let's just go. He throws some more clothes in the Pig and we take off. He had asked how far it was to the hut and I said it has always taken me less than 2 hours to get there, but I didn't know how far. We take off on the trail to the strange looks of another 2 guys going up wondering what big walls we were going to be climbing with the Pig.

I go at my usual pace and arrive at the hut in 1 hour 45 min. I wait for Jethro so we can go climbing. I wait. I wait. I worry that he might have fallen off of the trail so I start back down. I meet him a little way down. Jethro arrives at the hut in the record time of 4 hours and 30 min. Climbing for the day is out as it's almost 2pm.

 

 

Jethro starts unpacking his Pig outside the hut. To my surprise he starts pulling out cans of food. I'm laughing as he continues to pull out canned food. He has big cans of tuna, chili, refried beans, and assorted other cans. He must have at least 10-15 big cans of food. Costco size flour tortilla bag and a few candy bars round out the food selection. He then pulls out a gri-gri, some swivels for hauling the pig and assorted other wall gear. It was quickly apparent that he had not unpacked his pig from the Yosemite trip a month earlier. I'm laughing and mention that maybe it took so long to get to the hut because his pack/pig weighed twice as much as it needed to. He really didn't say anything.

 

The plan I made for climbing(Jethro didn't have any input, believe me I asked) was to go climb the west ridge of Pigeon Spire to acclimatize and then bivy at the base of the Becky/Chouinard route on Howser tower. The next day we would climb the Becky/Chouinard up and over. Jethro wondered about the water situation. I said we would not have water available until we dropped in for our bivy that night. He asked a couple of more times about the water and I again explained the situation, although I'm not sure he was getting it.

We take off late for Pigeon as there was no reason to get going early as Pigeon is easy 5.4 and we would just get to the bivy spot early and begin getting cold. We were going light as we had to carry our gear up and over a 11,000ft mountain. I had a light 2 man bivy sack and some warm clothes and lots of Gu and a sandwich for dinner.

 

We climbed up the Snowpatch/Bugaboo col and take a break at the top, which is about halfway to Pigeon spire. Jethro takes the moment to ask, "so is there water on the route?" I ask, "you didn't bring water?!" He says he brought a little but was just wondering if there was any on the route. I start laughing. Jethro then yells, "OK, that's 2 strikes. One more and I'm walking back down!" Huh?? He goes on to say that I flipped him shit about his food selection and now I was laughing at him about him not getting the water situation. I said that to me, flipping your partner shit and laughing about it was part of being in the mountains. He said he didn't play that game and wouldn't put up with it. OK Jethro. I apologized, explained the water situation again and we left the col for Pigeon. We climbed Pigeon. I led most of the way as Jethro was lagging on the rope. He was also very disorganized with the rack and his gear. As I'm climbing I'm thinking I'm not sure I want to be on a route as big as the Howser tower with his guy. What if I get the 3rd strike!?!? We can't back off of that route. Plus the weather looks a little iffy, but is forcast to get better the next day. We get to the summit of Pigeon and I ask Jethro what he thinks of Howser tomorrow. He says he's not sure he wants to do it. No problem. How about we go back to the hut and climb the Northeast ridge of Bugaboo tomorrow. It's a classic and I know the way since I've done it before. Sounds good. We get back to the hut by 7pm, eat and go to bed at 9 for a 4am wakeup and start up to Bugaboo Spire.

 

 

The alarm goes off at 4am. I look out the window and not a cloud in the sky. Perfect weather! Jethro whispers, "hey Chris, I didn't get any sleep last night. I can't do any climbing today." It's Alpine climbing. Who sleeps!?!?!?!? I roll over and go back to sleep disgusted. I wake up at 7 and we are the only people in the hut, THE only. Everyone is out climbing or hiking. I'm not happy. Jethro gets up at 9am. I can't stand to look at him and go for a hike and scramble up Eastpost spire. I'm back by noon. He sits by me as I'm reading a magazine and wants to know what the plan is.

 

I tell him I'm really disappointed with the trip as I get one climbing vacation in the summer and this is turning into a bust. I got the feeling that he had put nothing into the trip as I made all of the arrangements and did all of the planning. I didn't mind arranging, but it seemed as if he hadn't looked into the area at all and wanted me to plan everything as far as climbing and then bitch about the plan. Plus, the weather is perfect for climbing and these days are golden in the Bugaboos. He says between his work and girlfriend he hasn't been sleeping well and just wants to get home and get rest. He thinks he's having a hard time acclimatizing and tells me you must have acclimatized quicker because you were dragging me up Pigeon." I ask if he wants to climb tomorrow. He's not sure. I've had enough with this guy and tell him we should go tomorrow if he doesn't want to climb. He says he wants to leave and get home. Fine, we leave tomorrow morning. Maybe I can get home and salvage some climbing vacation somewhere else.

 

About 7pm that night, Jethro comes up to me and says he is going down to the car to sleep as he can't sleep in the hut. See you in the morning when you come down. OK. He loads up the Pig and hikes down the trail. I get up in the morning and am out of the hut at 8am. Another perfect weather day wasted! The whole way down I'm thinking about who I can contact to go climbing with on short notice when I get home.

 

I'm down the trail in an hour and wander into the parking lot. No Jethro or his car. Nowhere. I wander around the parking lot like a lost puppy with a huge pack, no Jethro. Two guys loading their packs getting ready to go up are looking at me and whispering to each other. I wonder if Jethro just drove down the road a bit to camp, so I walk about 1/2 mile down the ro... no Jethro. I come back to the parking lot and sit on my pack. What now? I sit there for about 20 minutes and all of a sudden Jethro drives in to the l...whew! He hops out of the car in a good mood and says, "this is fun, I want to stay another night." I just smile and start throwing all of my stuff in his car. I'm thinking the drive home will be hard. I'm changing my clothes by the car and Jethro say's "really, I want to stay another night. You can go back up to the hut and stay another night. It's not that far."(forgetting that it took him 4 1/2 hours to get there)

I look at him and ask him if he is serious. Yep, he's serious.

 

Me: "There's no freaking way I'm hiking back up to that hut. What's your deal?"

 

Jethro: "When I came down last night I decided to go for a drive. I came across this trappers cabin with a campfire out front and I stopped and there was this gal there by herself and we hit it off and I spent the night and I want to stay there again tonight."

 

Me: "are you serious?!"

 

Jethro: "yep".

 

Me : "I'm not hiking back up to that hut".

 

Jethro: "I'm not driving home today".

 

Jethro: (my favorite quote of the whole trip) "C'mon Chris, it doesn't always have to be about what you want to do".

 

Me: (laughing my ass off) "are you serious?"

 

I sit on my pack. It's 10am, nobody is coming out because the weather is perfect so I have no chance for a ride. All I could think to do was get my stuff out of this lunatic's car. I empty all of my stuff out. He jumps in the car and says he'll be back by 9 or 10 tomorrow morning. Away he goes. My brain is having a hard time keeping up with events as they are happening. What the hell am I going to do if he doesn't show up? We are 25 mile from pavement, and another 90 to anything more than a 2 horse town. I'm sitting in the parking lot with all of my stuff. The whole time the 2 dudes from California in the parking lot are watching this drama. I go over to them and explain my situation. They laugh. One of them is Bill Papas that owns a Crossfit franchise. I do Crossfit so I recognized his name.

 

I fall in to the roll of official Bugaboo Parking Lot Greeter. People arrive in the lot and look at me and my stuff out of the corner of their eye. They ask what the deal is and I give the short version of my story. I talk to Bill and his partner Bill for quite a while. I talk to Rueben and Joe who arrive from Portland, who take pity on me and give me a beer and some fresh veggies from the garden. I talk to the guide Yorn from Canmore and his guest Richard from Pittsburgh. They gave me a huge bag of fresh cherries, which were very good. Scott Lee from North Conway, New Hampshire hiked down because of injury. He was going to the closest town for a few days while his partner climbed for a few more days with another guy up at the campground. We talked about world issues for over an hour. 4 kids from Golden, BC that came up for a hike. An older couple from Invermere up for a hike. All were great folks and I actually came to enjoy talking to all of the different people from all over the continent.

 

I set up the tent in the parking lot at about 5 that evening as the bugs were starting to come out and I wanted someplace to escape.

 

At about 7pm another car arrives in the parking lot. It's a new SUV and there's a gal in it by herself. Kinda strange, but I had seen stranger in the last few days. She pulls up and asks what I'm doing with a tent in the middle of the parking lot. I give her the short version of my story and she starts laughing. All of a sudden, Jethro jumps up from behind the back seat laughing. Again, my brain is shorting out and I call him a few choice words. They get out and Pocahontas opens the back of her SUV and starts putting my stuff in the back of her car. I ask her what the hell she is doing. She says she just learned from Jethro that I was in the parking lot and I should come back to her cabin and spend the night there instead of in the parking lot. All I could think of was that I needed to get close to Jethro's car, as that was my way out of here. Pocahontas loads all of my stuff, I take down the tent and throw it in and get in without saying a word.

 

It quickly becomes apparent that these two are on a 2 day bender. They are both hammered and are swilling beer fast. She's cussing like a sailor and throwing her beer cans out the window as we are going 50+ miles per hour down a very rutted dirt road. She's what we would say in the south was rode hard and put away wet. Luckily, the ride is short as the cabin is only a few miles away from the trailhead. It's a very old 1 room trappers cabin on the river. There are hundreds of beer cans in the front yard along with lots of bottles of whiskey in the cabin. Pocahontas hands me a beer and tells me to relax and I can set up my tent in the yard. Jethro keeps his distance from me and continually wanders out for walks down the road.

 

Pocahontas proceeds to tell me her life story on how she has "full status", which means she is registered as 1st nations so she and her family can trap all of the critters she wants. Pocahontas is as white as my Irish ass, but she says her grandfather was full blooded, so she gets "full status". She has a husband and 2 kids in Kolowna, has some problems but at least she's not as bad as her sister who's a hooker in Calgary hooked on opium (I thought opium went out of fashion in the 20's). I'm impressed with Jethro's selection of a girl as this one is definitely a keeper!

 

As it starts to get dark, Jethro goes for one of his extended walks down the road. After 20 or 30 minutes, Pocahontas says she is going to look for Jethro. She jumps in her car and takes off down the road. I look at Jethro's car and think that it is now mine if I can find the keys. I run into the cabin and start going through all of his clothes looking for the keys to his car. No keys. I ransack the cabin looking. I look all through the car. No keys. My plan was to get the keys, get up in the middle of the night, throw my stuff in, flatten one of Pocahontas' tires and drive to Abbotsford and have my wife pick me up there. I would call Jethro's home and leave a message as to where his car was. I then get the idea to hotwire the car. I'm under the dash by headlamp after drinking 3 or 4 beers and think that this might not be a good idea. If I screw up the wiring job, then my way out is really in doubt. I give up and sit by the fire wondering what tomorrow will bring. Jethro and Pocahontas get back after being gone for over an hour in the woods. I sleep in the tent in the front yard.

 

The next morning I wake to the sound of Jethro crushing beer cans. He fills up 2 trash bags full of cans and bottles and throws them in the back of the car. We both get in and drive 10 hours back Washington. Jethro drops me off at my house. I tell him it was an adventure and to get the hell off of my property. He seems ok with that and drives off.

 

THE END

 

Forgot about this one @cfire .   Great to meet you the other night.

[JasonG]

Yes!!!! An absolute classic, I need to re-read this thread.  Thanks @olyclimber!