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THE FEAR


EWolfe

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I have had a few.

 

One lightning event on top of Beartooth Plateau (12,000ft and nowhere to hide...). It was the middle of the night when snowfall changed to to hail, then rain, and a BIG electrical strom rolled through. Pretty much the same as mattp describes, blue teeth and hair, sparks coming off zippers, conecting arcs between mittens, electrodes reaching for the sky off of every rock. It was pitch black, so the blue color really stood out, the taste of electricity in our mouths was also really vivid. It was a nightmare, I thought we were dead for sure. It was like a war movie with bombs landing all around us, only they were blinding lightning bolts. We spent the night huddled in a ditch trying to remember CPR.

 

A year a two ago I was the most scared I had ever been ice climbing. It was the last pitch of Synchronicity in Lilooet. The whole route was great, but the last 20 ft or so was a hollow rotten tube. At the top it was sticking out 3 feet from the rock, and less than an inch thick. Water was just gushing behind it and I sort of had to climb half in it and half out because there a huge hole to get past. My last screw was one of those bullshit titanium things. I should have downclimbed, but it was getting dark and I didn't want to waste time screwing around. I have never been so glad to hit the sling anchor on top of an ice climb.

 

The last one was half way up the Zodiac, I was leading a pitch, strung out on some old bullshit heads...looked down and noticed my knot was untied and the rope was just about to slip out of my harness. That was stupid, it almost gave me a heart attack!

 

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Wow, some hairy stories for sure.

 

Mine was crossing the McKinley River on our way to Mt Brooks. Got to the crux then went for a little swim. Banged up knees and hands but at least we didnt drown.

 

We watched my full overnight backpack float downriver, around a bend, and out of sight. We eventually got it back but boy, that was grim.

 

 

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I've experienced, weird aid, been caught in a white outs alone, loose exposed wet rock, bad sick at altitude, separating ice columns, falling in cravasses, breaking an ankle after a fall on a wall, falling on pro that shouldn't hold, got caught in a loose snow avalanche, rappling on EL cap after serious eye trauma, and I've watched loved ones get hurt...But what really really scares the shit out of me are pidgeons. I'm shaking just thinking about them.

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Do you find that often you aren't actually afraid while the event is happening, but afraid after it's over and you realize what you just survived?

 

Huge avalanche on the Fang in Provo Canyon while partner was 1/2 way up first pitch. Fortunately it was verticle enough that most of it shot over our heads, but the heavier chunks of slab and ice pummled us. I thought for sure he would be swept off the climb, but after about what seemed like a minute, he was still attached to the ice. Our gear at my feet; packs, tools, etc were blown 100 yards down the slope and I found a glove perched 10 feet up in a tree. Had we not been "late" that morning, we would have been in the low angle gulley between the upper and lower pitch where the avalanche scoured up the walls about 20 feet. If we had been there I wouldn't be telling you this. We finished the route figuring it was "safe now." While conscious of the possibility of avalanches on ice climbs, it hadn't snowed for over a week in Utah. But it had been windy the night before and some massive windslab must have formed and then cut loose thousands of feet above. The drainage was a major funnel. Learned a lot that day! A number of climbers have died on that climb, fortunately I escaped that day.

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dkemp said:

Wow, some hairy stories for sure.

 

Yes. Trying to focus on my breathing, now.

 

 

Mine was crossing the McKinley River on our way to Mt Brooks. Got to the crux then went for a little swim. Banged up knees and hands but at least we didnt drown.

 

We watched my full overnight backpack float downriver, around a bend, and out of sight. We eventually got it back but boy, that was grim.

 

 

For me, 8 hours on the Wolf River in Wisconsin (or maybe Minnesota) in a clunky C1 I probably couldn't have rolled in and no helmet. The high afterwards was amazing!

 

Also got trapped in a hole on some river in New Hampshire during a heavy rain and high water and realized I was going to drown. That only took 2 minutes. Again the mysterious elation afterwards.

 

Now I avoid whitewater and traverse above water and laugh at danger, ha!

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My feet dangling through a powdery snowbridge on the upper ingraham glacier with slack in the rope on a winter ascent got the adrenelin pumpin. But more recently I fell on an alpine rock climb and busted both feet before the rope caught me. Four hours of getting lowered down the face and getting situated, followed by eighteen hours alone on this ledge at 7,000ft, hoping my buddy got the rest of the way down safely, and that help was on the way.

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Here's one climb etched in my mind forever... Friend in San Diego took me out to climb a route he had put up on an arete that probably no one would find unless he took them there. Since it wasn't expected to get much traffic (and he was a cheap bastard), he had "protected" the first 40' with 2 quarter inch studs with no hangers. There was just a nut on each stud, so you could cinch a wired stopper behind the nut.

 

He raved about the quality of the moves so much (5.9+) that I didn't give the pro (lack of) too much thought. Also the landing was a tangle of manzanita roots 2-3' off the ground. Being a dumb shit I started up to do the historic second ascent.. Nice moves, got to the first stud and slung a wire, then made the crux moves. Just after completing the sequence, I glance down to see the wire slide off the stud and down to the belay device. Fuck! Friend starts in "ok, stay calm - just start reversing the moves" (said as he backs up out of the landing zone). I knew I didn't want to try that, so I told him to shut up so I could concentrate. The next stud was about 6-7' above, I went for it instead (probably about 5.9 face). I had mixed feeling when I hit the stud - happy to have "protection", sick because I had no confidence the wire would stay on this one as well. Cinched 2 wires - one in front and one behind the nut, put a long runner on it to minimize vibrations. Then went for a horizontal crack 10' above.

 

I've never been so glad to reach a crack - slammed in a couple of cams and probably stayed there 15 minutes getting my head together to complete the route.

 

Funny thing was my climbing really improved after that because I had proved to myself that I could lock out the fear if I had no choice. Of course, that was then, now my hands are shaking just typing this confused.gif

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My worst fear was on the Sheriff's Badge. The pitch just before the roof. I ended up pounding nails behind a fridge size block that I could feel moving everytime I hit the pin. I should have found a different way, but I was so scared that I just wanted the quickest way off the damn block. We backed off after that pitch.

 

I also hate jugging and looking at the rope running over edges. I love the feeling of finally getting to the anchors after jugging a pitch.

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Lambone said:

oh...one more...

 

Strung out in the middle of an aid pitch on El Cap...and realized that it wasn't just a fart. Damn canned beans...

 

And, come to think of it...I get THE FEAR every time I jug a damn rope, I hate jugging.

 

Oh Lamby, do tell the Mt. Baker 9-1-1 story again!

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A 185 foot shore dive off San Jan Island. We got so narced that my bottom time ended up being thirteen minutes. We followed the bottom back to 100 feet where I realized I was fucked. we ascended directly toward the surface from there. The only deco stop was a 3 minute swim at 10 feet (navigating back toward shore) before we ran out of air. Another 30 yards or so to the beach on the surface and we spent the next two hours laying motionless on the shore hoping the itches and twinges weren't the onset of what should have been a nasty case of the bends. As we lay there, a purse seiner placed and pulled it's net right around the area where we had done the navigation swim

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RuMR said:

185 feet on STD AIR???? hmmm...not good to start w/...

 

Yeah, the ignorance of youth. At 185 the bottom dropped away into a rather impressive wall that disappeared into the blackness of the Strait. The glass-like tinkle of the bubbles, the view, and the extreme narcosis was quite a combo.

 

I was diving with a friend who started diving in the early 1950's in Lake Tahoe. He would do dives to over 200' and then drive over the pass to get back to his home in Reno.

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I agree that the scariest things for me are watching someone do something stupid or watching someone get so scared they freeze up. My wife doesn't climb and says she doesn't think she could watch me climb (I imagine this is the same thing).

 

I've been scared a couple of times but the real fear seemed to come after the danger was over.

 

Last weekend on Monkey Face West Face Variation; the second pitch, I climbed third and the second cleaned ALL THE GEAR including the gear at the point where the route turns hard left. This meant when I got to the crux (only 5.8, but hey, I'm new) I was looking up the crack.....and then waaaaay over to the left at the rope....mmmmm.....pendulum???? Just as I felt my fingers slipping and my foot slipping (shorts thouroghly filled) I just made the moves and got through it. I felt good about it because EVERY time I've had that feeling I have fallen, this time I got through it and I feel like I've taken another step toward becoming a better climber.

 

Craig

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Fear is an irrational instinct that I try to minimize. It sometimes causes people to perform above their abilities but more commonly results in being gripped and performing with less than normal ability. Danger on the other hand is real and should respected accordingly. I have been in some hairy situations but I would say that my greatest fears have been of the unknown. I have realized that the "unknown" is rarely as bad as it seems. It is this reason that I say that I rarely get scared. That being said I am very aware of the dangers of climbs. I believe that situations in which I am scared do not warrent remembering except to learn to deal with the danger in a more realistic and appropriate way.

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too many times!

A good one was soloing Pan dome falls in thin conditions, and drytooling the top 50 feet under 4 feet of unconsolidated powder snow trying to find nubbins on slab rock to get me to the tree anchor with no gloves on after a bad bad breakup!

 

we REALLY need a vomit greamlin!

 

watching formadyhead climb murchison in ultra lean conditions was fun! He's had a bunch (remember Slesse? Soaring canopy, flat tire, treed bear cub and momma bear inbetween, rapping off a piece of snow, nut tool ice ax with boulder shoes, no water, off-route 10c belay off one micro nut.... the_finger.gif)

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michael_layton said:

too many times!

A good one was soloing Pan dome falls in thin conditions, and drytooling the top 50 feet under 4 feet of unconsolidated powder snow trying to find nubbins on slab rock to get me to the tree anchor with no gloves on after a bad bad breakup!

Oooooohhhh, Twight style! Kiss or Kill! Pretty stupid, tho.

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I am a wimpy climber...the true fear I have felt in my life has had nothing to do with climbing. Imeadeatly after thing 1 was born, they put him on my belly. He was purple from lack of oxegen as the cord had been wrapped twice arround his neck durring birth. He had a very low apgar and continued to NOT BREATH. The took him into the side room and he continued to NOT BREATH. Considering he is 7 now, the outcome was good wink.gif but that was my most horrifying tearafing horedus scariest 2 hours of my whole life ever. I would rather face my own death 10 thousand times, than the death of my child.

Edited by Muffy_The_Wanker_Sprayer
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