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Everything posted by Dr_Flash_Amazing

  1. cc.com

    Good heavens! Imagine the good Doctor's surprise at discovering the continued existence, and apparent thriving, of the snow-slogging, choss-chugging, peak-posing, bolt-bashing timesuck that is cascadeclimbers.com. Of special note: Off White still seems to be stealthily bashing you all over your helmeted heads with his good-natured voice of reason. RuMR's son has climbed harder than most of you are even capable of reading about. Dr. Flash Amazing's wit and panache are still unmatched in the digital or physical realms. Believe it. Cheers, you snowy apes.
  2. All Religions are not Equal

    That's an interesting take, Steve (d'you mind if DFA calls you "Steve?" Good.). The good Doctor has found far more fulfillment and personal growth in the martial arts than through religion, a good deal of which had to do with gaining a lot of self-confidence and security that never did seem to manifest through prayer or whatever.
  3. All Religions are not Equal

    For a lighthearted take on this, search youtube for "Mr. Deity" (there may be a mrdeity.com, too--dunno for sure). Pretty funny bit from the guy who does the design & layout work for Skeptic magazine. The one on the 6th day of creation is amusing food for thought on how much sense it makes to believe in an omnipotent, benevolent creator who is OK with genocides, torture, and tsunamis.
  4. I'm getting better without trying

    But if a route is undergraded, isn't it just as stupid to keep it undergraded as it would be to keep a route overgraded? If consensus dictates a grade change, then the grade should change.
  5. Mtn Lion Attack

    Hell no! This is the badass humans thread!
  6. Mtn Lion Attack

    Hellz yeah! This is right up there with the diver getting half-swallowed by the great white shark and then gouging the beastie in the eye with his free hand and getting away. Shit is cooler than retro-bolting and freeing old aid lines!
  7. Experience

    Good lord. File this with the Bob Marley shoes. Gah!
  8. Coffee

    Crikey, three pages of spray about coffee in PDX and not one mention of Blue Gardenia? They're over on Miss'ippi, in the courtyard place by Laughing Planet. Tiny shop dominated by the roaster and big case of the best cinnamon rolls (and a grip of other fine house-baked goods). Highly recommended; they get wicked and wild with the single-origin beans, and really coax some unique flavors out of their coffee. As a bonus, you will not get vibed by bike messenger wannabes with Krypto locks in their back pockets who think they are somehow important because they know where to get a good cup of the strong black. Fuckin' A.
  9. training for climbing by thinking about it....

    The good Doctor has had good success visualizing the shit out of projects, imagining every move from stepping out of the dirt to clipping the chains. When you're falling asleep, when you're driving to or from the crag, when you're wasting 8 hours at your F-ing desk...replay, replay, replay, dispatch. Next!
  10. The Optimists?

    Ooohhh, you want it bad, don't you, big boy? PM full body shot and free-climbing ray-zoo-may for consideration. No... Im just sick of seeing your pro-sport, anti aid, irrational rants, in attempts at serious discussions. I don't care how hard you can free that doesn't make you opinion any more just than mine. Like many have said before... Royal Robbins, Fred Becky, Etc.. can't free 5.12 nor never did, but so they as climbers, have a lesser opinion than you or others who might be able to free 5.13? Oh, you are upset because the great Dr. Flash Amazing has an opinion that differs from yours and he chooses to express that opinion with all the force afforded him by his justifiably colossal ego? Truly, it is just tragic that you have had your sensibilities offended by someone else's opinion, and on the internet no less. Tragic. Unfortunately, even if you strip away the baroque trappings of the Amazing persona, you are still left with the same core opinion, i.e. that a high-standard bolted free climb will always trump some chuffer's beat-out pin-job. Kapish? This has nothing to do with Royal Robbins or Fred Beckey, who have actually advanced the sport. However, if someone bolts up a Robbins aid line in order to free it, so much the better. But the Doctor digresses. It is, as you say, merely an opinion, and as such should not cause harm to your person. DFA does not have a drill, nor does he have the time or motivation to bolt new lines or free pinned-out seams on obscure chosspiles with long, uphill approaches, so your precious benchmarks of etrier artistry are at present safe from this Doctor. Oh, and calling DFA irrational? Please--if you cannot grasp what the Doctor is saying, it is clearly indicative of a deficiency in your reading comprehension, so take a minute to sound out the big words, consult a dictionary, or ask a more competent reader to help you. If it's good enough for George "Nuke-ya-lur" Bush, it's good enough for a hammer-swinging aider-fellator from Beavertown.
  11. The Optimists?

    Ooohhh, you want it bad, don't you, big boy? PM full body shot and free-climbing ray-zoo-may for consideration.
  12. Music

    All of AVAIL's songs shuffling on the iPod in preparation for Saturday's show Bouncing Souls - Gold Record and Anchors Aweigh The Evens - Get Evens The Draft - In a Million Pieces Billy Bragg - The Internationale (let's hear it for commie folk songs!) And on and on...
  13. The Optimists?

    Let's simplify this discussion: DFA right, chubby aid-wankers wrong, and the Milli-Vanilli hair extensions adorning Sexy Cocopuff's wizened pate are pure cosmetological genius. End of story.
  14. The Optimists?

    You armchair wankers who bring up this kind of crap are idiots, plain and simple. Claiming some beat-out choss seam is somehow being ruined by bolts, or that the people who have freed it are unqualified to make the call as to whether it will take gear...you do not get it. You are trying to criticize people who are pushing the limits of this sport and climbing things in a style you cannot even begin to comprehend, and whimpering about how you aided this pile once and so you should have a say. No. When your inept aid attempt qualifies as a worthwhile advance in climbing standards, you might have something to say; until then, stick to beating your forehead with your wall hammer until you have the sense to shut your drooling yap. Love, Dr. Flash Amazing
  15. phantom of the park

    Don't say "the park" unless you are referring to Smith Rock. You are causing confusion and devaluing an established trademark.
  16. Indoor cardio workout ideas

    and vomit And then go again. "It doesn't have to be fun, to be fun." Another recommendation for CrossFit. The Doctor's Kung Fu instructor regularly punishes the class with CrossFit workouts, which always sound relatively innocuous because the exercises are so basic, but when your entire body is flooded with lactic acid after a couple minutes and you are sore for a week after a 20-minute workout, you know you're getting full value. Last night's conditioning: Hold medicine ball over your head and do walking lunges down the length of the training floor, then do 10 wall-balls aiming for 10' minimum, then walking lunges with the medicine ball over your head back down the floor. Then do 3 reps of "pushup walking," whereby you place the medicine ball on the floor, get in a pushup position next to it with your shoulders lined up with the ball, walk your hands one at a time onto the ball, down onto the floor on the other side, back up onto the ball, and back down on the side you started on (one rep). This series was repeated as many times as possible for about ten minutes (most people got around 3 repetitions). DFA's legs are all wobbly today.
  17. Hipster Bingo

    Add to PDX Fixster list: 8"-wide handlebars with BMX grips (colored plastic with white stars); mail gets delivered to the chair you live in out front at Stumptown, where you sit and vibe all passersby for not being fixie enough (no walkie-talkie signifying messenger status? 5 demerits. No flyers or playing cards in your spokes? 3 demerits. No vintage cycling cap in place of helmet? 9 demerits. More than two high-tech bicycle parts on your beater fixie (e.g. aero disc-wheel, Campy cranks, custom titanium/carbon non-functioning brake lever)? 6 demerits).
  18. How old is the Grand Canyon

    Tons of secular MIS-information, you mean. The Parks Service is a filthy den of anti-religious liberal bigots in league with the homosexual agenda and the Hillary '08 campaign. They want everyone in America to eat tofu and have mandatory gay sex in the Yellowstone visitors' center bathrooms!
  19. Hipster Bingo

    That's for the special PDX Fixster (fixie-hipster) edition. Add Krypto mini-lock in the back pocket of the brown polyester shants, Chrome messenger bag, and not-wearing-a-helmet-even-though-you-are-completely-oblivious-to-traffic-and-are-basically-asking-to-get-hit-so-your-other-1,000-hipster-clone-friends-can-have-a-nude-candlelight-critical-mass-vigil-ride-to-protest-the-tyranny-of-the-automobile-and-lament-your-tragic-but-ultimately-utterly-predictable-death. Oh, and non-functioning brake lever so the cops don't stop you for brakeless fixie-pedaling.
  20. How old is the Grand Canyon

    What's the big controversy? Everyone knows it's only 6,000 years old, just like the rest of the world!
  21. Urban Climber: the empire grows

    Because your comments are barely-decipherable infantile babbling that makes monkeys flinging shit look eloquent?
  22. Urban Climber: the empire grows

    Well, that was certainly insightful analysis.
  23. Urban Climber: the empire grows

    What?! The new R&I is stellar. The large format roxx, and the design & layout put a serious spanking on Climbing's pasty buttocks. Great content, too, although Matt Samet is undeniably witty, and a key addition to Climbing. But the combo of Samet and Thesenga at the helm can tilt things a little heavily toward the sophomoric, Colorado-is-the-center-of-the-universe-and-everyone-loves-Rifle-anecdotes-all-the-time gig. And does every issue need to remind us of how Samet once had an eating disorder? He's like the Mark Twight of sport climbing with that shit. Not to even mention Urban Climber, where the art director's guiding principle is apparently "if you can use PhotoShop, you are a designer." And don't let's get the Doctor started on the proofreading. UC needs a copy editor who can actually proofread his or her way out of a wet paper bag. Thst maggazinw iss loaded wirh typoa@!
  24. The ultimate Everything

    WTF? You've done the route but you need someone else's opinion on it? What a moron.
  25. Salvation

    No, that was Rancid. Get with it, old woman.