Please leave

[glassgowkiss]

so leave!

"In the wake of last week's presidential election, thousands of Americans have signed petitions seeking permission for their states to peacefully secede from the United States. The petitions were filed on We the People, a government website.

States with citizens filing include Alabama, Arkansas, Colorado, Florida, Georgia, Indiana, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Oregon, South Carolina, Tennessee and Texas. Oddly, folks from Georgia have filed twice. "

as the matter of fact I would suggest not to get hit by the door on the way out! btw, take all your wackos from here as well.

[denalidave]

Well, this is Merica, so you are free to leave anytime...

[denalidave]

Well, this is Merica, so you are free to leave anytime...

Unless you find yourself "carcerated".

[JosephH]

Texas is essentially on it's own electrical grid so it's really not a problem unplugging it. I say let the racist cocksuckers go and let them take Oklahoma while they're at it.

[Crux]

I think we need to be reasonable about this. Considering the severity of our national debt, we can only pay so much to get rid of Texas. But Mexico, I hear, is poor. Maybe, for a modest price paid to them, the Mexicans would be willing to help us do what is best for our nation and all that is holy.

[JosephH]

And hell, I'm sure they'd love to have it back - Mitt could be Governor of New Texas given his Mexican roots.

[AlpineK]

Sell Texas to Mexico at a clearance price rate.

[glassgowkiss]

Interesting enough they are mostly southern states. which just proves the point about their self reliance bullshit, since they collect more in federal money, then they contribute. i would say the rest of the union would be far better off if we would get rid off the useless bunch of morons. like i stated- don't let the door hit you on the way out, see how long would it be, before they would beg to be taken back and bailed out of poverty.

[rob]

Forcing the southern states to hang around in the first place was a mistake. If they want to leave again, this time we should let them.

 

I bet Spain would consider granting at least a partial refund for Florida.

[billcoe]

Texas has the votes required to get a "piss off" from the President. (25,000) Should be interesting to see how he handles the petition. Maybe a B-Ark?

 

 

 

B-Ark(Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy):

Golgafrincham is a red semi-desert planet that is home of the Great Circling Poets of Arium and a species of particularly inspiring lichen. Its people decided it was time to rid themselves of an entire useless third of their population, and so the descendants of the Circling Poets concocted a story that their planet would shortly be destroyed in a great catastrophe. (It was apparently under threat from a "mutant star goat"). The useless third of the population (consisting of hairdressers, tired TV producers*, insurance salesmen, personnel officers, security guards, management consultants, telephone sanitisers and the like) were packed into the B-Ark, one of three purported giant Ark spaceships, and told that everyone else would follow shortly in the other two. The other two thirds of the population, of course, did not follow and "led full, rich and happy lives until they were all suddenly wiped out by a virulent disease contracted from a dirty telephone".

 

The B-Ark was programmed to crash-land on a suitably remote planet on one of the outer spiral arms of the galaxy, which happened to be Earth, and the Golgafrinchan rejects gradually mingled with and usurped the native cavemen**, becoming the ancestors of humanity and thereby altering and distorting the course of the great experiment to find the question for the Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything, or so Ford Prefect presumes. A lot of them didn't make it through the winter three years prior to Arthur Dent's reunion with Ford Prefect, and the few who remained in the spring said they needed a holiday and set out on a raft. History says they must have survived.....

 

Their ancestors founded Texas it's said.

[glassgowkiss]

yes- tsa is bad! let's just no passenger checking, let the cary knives and guns on board. fucking loonies!

[ivan]

plenty of good n' loyal libturds from the south now - no need to start hating on a brother just b/c of his area-code, ya know?

[Jim]

Worth an encore:

 

Dear Red States...

 

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us.

 

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon,Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

 

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.

We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot

Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

 

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

 

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the

Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get abunch of single moms.

 

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and

anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at

once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals.

 

They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no

purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

 

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale,

Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

 

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

 

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

 

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy b*****ds believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

 

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.

 

Peace out,

Blue States

[Choada_Boy]

They get a toothbrush. We get a teethbrush.

[ivan]

but if we break up, it's gonna be an even BIGGER fence we'll have to build on our southern border to keep shiftless bums out! on the plus side, the definition of who's a "mexican" will expand to include george bush

[KaskadskyjKozak]

Yes, ggk, please leave

[tvashtarkatena]

The Party of Whinerz fights back!

 

Kinda wish my party would hold its ground against their job-destroying fiscal idiocy, but oh well.

 

Having the GOP around is like dropping a sea anchor on the economy. We'd be in so much further along in our economic recovery without those regressive tools around.

 

I really love the whole 'job creator' myth. You want people who really are good at creating growth companies and jobs? Google, Amazon, Microsoft, Apple...yeah - they're liberals, assholes. Open minded, innovative, cool with others' differences.

 

You want shitty fast food, outsourcing shops, and financial ass rapists - well, that would be the GOP's version of Business Acumen.

 

As a data point, let's compare the 'smarts' used in the Romney campaign (I be a bidness man!) to those used for the Kommie Kenyan. From getting blindsided by the poles to a great steaming pile of a get-out-the-vote system that left headquarters blind as a bat on election day, Romney's campaign looked like it was run by the local paper boy.

 

So fuck you, GOP posers. You could't manage a laundromat after a shit storm. Perhaps you can get into the business of ass mounted smoke alarms and start selling them to your own people.

Edited November 13, 2012 by tvashtarkatena

[rob]

You want people who really are good at creating growth companies and jobs? Google, Amazon, Microsoft, Apple...yeah - they're liberals, assholes. Open minded, innovative, cool with others' differences.

 

+1

 

Microsoft has been offering benefits to domestic partners (same-sex or otherwise) for years. It's no surprise that the most successful companies that attract the best employees nearly all share these common liberal values.

 

It's strange that the republicans (supposedly businessmen) think America should not follow this lead.

[tvashtarkatena]

Liberals are WAY better at business. Rfucks are good at exploitation, lying to their employees, fraud, graft, and asset stripping.

 

The whole 'business does it better' is laughable on its face. Most 'businesses doing it better' don't do it for more than 2 years before they go Chapter 11.

 

Competent, open minded, innovative people do it better - regardless of what sector they choose to operate in, so save the ideological cartoons for your country club boozathons, conservicunts. Just die en masse so the rest of us can actually solve some problems and grow the economy like adults while we're at it.

 

 

Edited November 13, 2012 by tvashtarkatena

[JosephH]

Interesting enough they are mostly southern states.

 

The racist democrats of the south didn't become less racist, they became republicans. That they now want to re-secede after a black man won a second term in the Whiteyhouse doesn't really surprise me after a forty year campaign by the republicans encouraging that racism.

[tvashtarkatena]

What happened to...to MY America? N why does nobody wike me???

 

 

[tvashtarkatena]

Cheerist, those Tighties openly DESPISE America. Why the fuck else would they keep talking about taking it back?

 

They haven't the faintest clue about the country they have so much contempt for, either. Witness all the 'mile high' and bong jokes about pot legalization.

 

Nary a mention of the actual issue behind the reform - 2.4 million Americans in the slammer - disproportionately black Americans. No, we wouldn't want to be uncomfortably aware of the results of the policies we came up with and championed for 4 decades, would we?

Edited November 13, 2012 by tvashtarkatena

[Cobra_Commander]

A mistake many conservatives talking heads continue to make is believing "liberals" (whatever that is anymore) are not self-sufficient, and not armed.

[Pete_H]

You want people who really are good at creating growth companies and jobs? Google, Amazon, Microsoft, Apple...yeah - they're liberals, assholes. Open minded, innovative, cool with others' differences.

 

And exploiting tax loopholes! Maybe those who run these companies are secret conservatives. Or maybe they just have good accountants.

[ivan]

the "job creators" ARE good at pumping up the prison industry at least?