Wise-Ass Wisdom

[SublimeSalamander]

"It's not about the truns. It's about the tour"-unkown

 

"If you don't do it this year. You'll be one year older when you do"-Warren Miller

[jefffski]

from a journalist reporting on an accident:

 

he did not have his "eye sacs"

[MtnNomad]

"That which does not kill you makes you wish you were dead." My wifes variation on a classic.

 

Infamous Euro Mtn.Guide & ACMG Examiner to a aspirant guide who is on-lead "Hey do you love climbing?" Answers "Ya man climbing is my life!" Examiner responds with "Yah, then how come you are no good at it."

[addie]

"what would you do if you knew you could not fail?"

[lummox]

lick it before you kick it.

[EWolfe]

" If I wasn't doing this, I'd just be doing something else"

[KaskadskyjKozak]

A mantra of a friend of mine. He applies this to mountaineering, among other things:

 

"It doesn't have to be fun to be fun"

 

Used at auspicious moments, like when dry heaving on the summit of Rainier.

 

Another one, cited during rest breaks:

 

"The mountain is not getting any closer"

[RuMR]

wow....sounds like my dad...

[Bug]

"Women always pee in pairs."

"She liked me when we were dating."

Women always think they can change their husbands. Men always think their fiance won't change after the wedding night."

If marriage were easy, it wouldn't take a lifetime.

"When I have kids they won't do that."

[ScottP]

"Lick 'em, Place 'em, X 'em, Paste 'em, Rock 'em, and Sniff 'em. If it stinks, get off it!"

-Instructions for placing copperheads I read in an old A5 catalog.

[TheOldHouseMan]

"Second place is the first loser"

[Couloir]

Forgive me if I butcher this:

 

"If you're not hungry, then you brought too much food. If you're not thirsty then you brought too much water. If you aren't scared then you brought too much gear. And if you made it to the top, then the climb was just too easy."

[chirp]

Pope ought to remember this one...oldie but a goody... can you name the person who said it Pope?

 

"Rope up; and thats for real!"

[selkirk]

classic engineering wisdom for all you geeks in hiding

 

"There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it twice." (i.e. after it breaks the firs time)

 

and

 

When trying to estimate how long something will take, start with your initial estimate, double that, and add 20%.

 

It's amazing how close that usually comes out.

[ChrisT]

along those lines...

 

Price, quality, time - pick any two.

[KaskadskyjKozak]

along those lines...

 

Price, quality, time - pick any two.

 

Another one:

 

Garbage In, Garbage Out.

[JRCO]

How about "Engineering is 10% know how and 90% beating the shit out of it until it fits."

[bigbong]

"never eat anything larger than your head"

 

Miss Piggy.

Edited January 6, 2005 by bigbong

[Ponzini]

"Women settle down when they find the man they're looking for.

 

Men settle down with whomever happens to be around when they feel like finally settling down."

 

- Ex-girlfriend's Dad.

[Buckaroo]

"What you may be offered in a moment all eternity will never give you back." Schiller

 

kill your TV

 

"To find adventure on a tame planet, the children of comfort plunge themselves into ever more bizarre escapades." Whilhelm Bittorf

 

"I don't watch movies, I live a movie."

[Bogen]

Especially appropriate in ice-climbing season

 

"It's a poor craftsman that blames his tools"

[MisterMo]

This could be a repeat, I haven't read the whole thread:

"the early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese."

[EWolfe]

A little bludgeon just knocked on my ear:

 

Never post personal information on the web.

[Jeebus]

not wise-ass but quite useful for climbers:

 

"it's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer", Albert Einstein

[Alpine_Tom]

"It's not climbing if you aren't scared."

 

Alex Mineev