Ever see a fistfight at a climbing area?

[Jens]

Anyone?

"We were here first!"

"Get off my project!"

"That's the 3rd piece of gear you've dropped on me!"

"We're using our rope to go down now!"

[mountainmatt]

No, but I have been shot at when walking out from the Red River Gorge...

[wdietsch]

Royal Columns ... Ball and Chain .. about '86. No fists just a bit of pushing and shoving. Not my group ... we were just witnesses

 

not really a climbing area but once on the NF of Chair about '91 or '92 ... didn't actually come to blows but it was awfully close

[JayB]

The main source of tension I've seen has actually been people's dogs.

[Weekend_Climberz]

I was out at 32 last night and there was this ropegun hangdoggin on this route. I was totally digusted and wanted to yell at him for hanging on the bolts on his project. What a flake

[catbirdseat]

You left out the part about poaching the guy's fixed draws, didn't ya? Devil's in the details.

[Weekend_Climberz]

Seriously though, I have almost got into it with a former climbing partner (not climbing related). He went to Ouray and borrowed one of my ice tool and when he got back he had left a message one night saying he was going to sink the thing into my head the next time he saw me. I guess his daughter didn't help things.

[JayB]

The main source of tension I've seen has actually been people's dogs.

 

Old Dog-Induced-Tension story below:

 

"This reminds me of a day I spent at Turkey Rocks a couple of years ago.

 

A group of climbers hitched their dog to a tree near the path that everyone had to follow on their way out, and - without fail - the dog reared back, growled, and lunged at each and every person unfortunate enough to pass by. Sometimes it actually lept off of the ground and got whipped around by the kneck when the leash came tight. Yet, the owners continued to insist that the dog was "friendly" and would "never just bite someone ." Perhaps they meant that it would never merely bite someone, preferring instead to latch onto their flesh and whip its head back and forth like a Moray eel on crank.

 

This continued until one fellow decided it was time to go home. He was a very pleasant and affable guy, despite being built like a cross between Howie Long and George 'The Animal' Steel. He had been climbing elsewhere and had yet to see the dog in action, and obliviously strolled towards the lunge zone on his way back to the car. What followed was only noteworthy for the sheer spectacle of watching scores of millenia worth of evolution reverse directions in a millisecond.

 

The guy didn't seem to take much notice of the low rumble emmanating from behind the bush, but when the dog hurled itself towards its next target, this guy turned the predator-prey dynamic squarely on its head and lunged towards the dog with one choking-hand extended towards its throat and one spam-block sized fist cocked atop an arm purpose built for skull-crushing, all the while bellowing out a roar that sounded like a silverback gorilla's kill signal amplfied by a speaker tower at a Motorhead concert for the deaf.

 

In the same instant, the dog that was playing the part of the untamed Ur-canine just a few minutes before recoiled in mid-leap, let out a yelp that would shame a show-poodle in a grooming salon, and attained the head-down-with-fully-tucked-tail cower position before even hitting the ground. Upon arriving on the soil, the dog scuttled behind a tree and continued cowering and yelping incessantly while intermittently pissing itself as the primate looming several feet away continued to alternate between -literally - pounding its chest and roaring out some inspired, theat-laden profanity "I - (POUND) - WILL - (POUND) - RIP - (POUND) - YOUR - (POUND) -MOTHER- (POUND) -F&^%ing - (POUND) - HEAD -(POUND)- OFF (POUND) -AND - (POUND) *&^%ING (POUND) EAT (POUND) - IT - (POUND) RAW (POUND)...[etc]"

This carried on for at least 20 seconds.

 

It must be true what they say about dogs and their owners sharing a common psychological profile, as the blase indifference, casual dismissals and occaisional snicker (seriously) that had characterized while their previous responses evaporated, and they looked on in mute shock when the tables were turned, and it was they who were worried about their companion being injured by a violent animal.

 

After they had finished cowering, pissing themselves, and yelping to one another they finally moved their dog away from the main pedestrian throughfare, and the other climbers were able to hike out without any further incident. "

[ALLCAPS]

I'LL KICK ANYONES ASS. IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE AT A CLIMBING AREA, BUT IF THAT IS WHERE YOU WANT IT DONE, THEN SO BE IT.

[KaskadskyjKozak]

I'LL KICK ANYONES ASS. IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE AT A CLIMBING AREA, BUT IF THAT IS WHERE YOU WANT IT DONE, THEN SO BE IT.

 

and I want my anger to be healthy

and I want my anger just for me

and I need my anger not to control

yeah, and I want my anger to be me

 

and I need to set my anger free

[RuMR]

[wdietsch]

I forgot about the time my brother almost got into it with a RMI guide at the top of the DC about '84 .... he accused us of knocking off a rock that ended up hitting one of his clients in the knee ... after it came whizzing by us

[ALLCAPS]

OFTEN I SAY "SEE YOU IN HELL" WHEN I BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF MY PARTNERS. IF IT'S SPECIAL PARTNER, THEN THERE MAY BE A QUICK KISS.

[Choada_Boy]

I would have ripped that dog in half with my bare hands.

[archenemy]

A while back, a buddy of mine harangued me for months to take him climbing. He was very proud of his rapid learning curve at the school gym (this is before U of I got its super-sexy new gym, but hey, it had an awe-inspiring collection of mystery-stain mattresses and splinter-less 2 x 4’s for hangboards). He’d even been outside at the world-famous Granite Rock for a lesson in the great outdoors.

 

He wore me down with whining, and I relented and said sure. I dragged him up his first multi-pitch trad climb and by the third pitch he was moving at a pace slightly above that of a mannequin. I was enjoying the sun and letting my mind wander between disconnected, semi-formed dumb-blonde “thoughts”. By buddy heaved himself onto the huge party ledge I was belaying from and started fumbling around with the gear hanging on his harness. I watched him a little bit and absentmindedly said, “You know, I could push you off of here and no one would ever know.”

 

No shit, the guy turned white, then bright red, then purple. He cocked his fist back and just kinda held it there while considering his options. I looked right at him and said, “Hmm, I’m glad I’m tied in to the anchor”. I think that made things worse. I’m not absolutely sure what he did after that, but I think he was trying to tie in while keeping his fist ready for a right hook.

 

It didn’t actually come to fisticuffs, but who could blame him if it had?

[olyclimber]

awesome TR archenemy. i just don't understand why you haven't related this story before. i really like the "dumb blonde thoughts" part....i can really relate. the only thing stopping this thing from being Alpinist worthy is a few pictures. do you have any?

[Crux]

Old Dog-Induced-Tension story...

 

"this guy turned ...pounding its chest and roaring out some inspired, theat-laden profanity..."

 

Very funny JB, yet strangely reminiscent of the behavior of a hired guide upon whose head I saw a rope dropped by a group of Mounties upon the Toof one day. Maybe it was the same guy. I'd have laughed at the time, but it wasn't a pretty sight, considering.

 

Today is a different story. I laughed so hard my coffee sprayed.

[ScottP]

I once saw a guy on the S face of the Tooth vent his frustrations on a bit of shrubbery with a large hex while screaming obscenities at the sky. It was frightening and entertaining at the same time.

[Jens]

I once saw a guy on the S face of the Tooth vent his frustrations on a bit of shrubbery with a large hex while screaming obscenities at the sky. It was frightening and entertaining at the same time.

[RuMR]

A while back, a buddy of mine harangued me for months to take him climbing. He was very proud of his rapid learning curve at the school gym (this is before U of I got its super-sexy new gym, but hey, it had an awe-inspiring collection of mystery-stain mattresses and splinter-less 2 x 4’s for hangboards). He’d even been outside at the world-famous Granite Rock for a lesson in the great outdoors.

 

He wore me down with whining, and I relented and said sure. I dragged him up his first multi-pitch trad climb and by the third pitch he was moving at a pace slightly above that of a mannequin. I was enjoying the sun and letting my mind wander between disconnected, semi-formed dumb-blonde “thoughts”. By buddy heaved himself onto the huge party ledge I was belaying from and started fumbling around with the gear hanging on his harness. I watched him a little bit and absentmindedly said, “You know, I could push you off of here and no one would ever know.”

 

No shit, the guy turned white, then bright red, then purple. He cocked his fist back and just kinda held it there while considering his options. I looked right at him and said, “Hmm, I’m glad I’m tied in to the anchor”. I think that made things worse. I’m not absolutely sure what he did after that, but I think he was trying to tie in while keeping his fist ready for a right hook.

 

It didn’t actually come to fisticuffs, but who could blame him if it had?

P S Y C H O B I T C H ! ! !

[Collin]

I was belaying my partner up a route when our "friend" rolled up and began throwing his gear in the dirt and kicking it around. He was all mad that we had left him behind at the last route and he didn't know where we were going. He continued to like a little girl and then started to throw pretzels at my partner as he climbed. My partner snaped and had me lower him while he told our "friend" to "get ready man". He untied, took his climbing shoes off, slipped his other shoes on and started swinging. The fight lasted about 10 minutes and now one really won. What a waste of climbing energy.

[DonnyBaker]

Hey man, there are sick people out there, you guys are climbing with most of them. You guys know Norman Johnson he used to boulder with me out at minehaha and I used to see him all the time over in traffic court 7. Norman was trying to climb eddy's overhang. Norman fell off and was flopping around on the ground like river fenix overrdosing on blowzine out in front of the viper room. Swear to god he got up and was bitching about my spot. I was like back off Norman, where's that can of Mtn Dew that was in my climbing bag. I said it right to his face. Norman tried to hit me and I punched him right in the balls. Swear to God he was all crying.

You didn't know that was my last can of Mtn Dew my ass, I'll say it to your face you lyin terd.

[pazzo]

like river fenix

lol... i think you mean phoenix!!

[matt_warfield]

Two of us were on an alpine start at Long's Peak, Colorado and had paused at about 4:00 a.m. at The Boulderfield, which happens to also be a place where one can camp if the 15 mile RT hiking route is too much for one day. We were chatting when from inside a nearby tent came "Shut up- some people are trying to sleep", to which my partner replied "Well why did you camp right on a trail frequently travelled at night?"

 

The reply was some cursing and a "Don't make me have to come out there and beat on you" kind of statement to which my partner said "Bring it on!"

 

Luckily we left before any altercation and proceded with one of the best (Casual Route on the Diamond) and most eventful (stuck rappel ropes, dropped pack, lightning) climbing days of my life. And it all could have started with a preclimb fight to boot!

[Crux]

P S Y C H O B I T C H ! ! !

A sinner if ever there was one.

 

(The horror, the horror!)