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ivan

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Everything posted by ivan

  1. ivan

    Laziest invention

    iron-lung
  2. ivan

    Laziest invention

    "digital sex!" "i still jerk off manually"
  3. hell, if jim's there, i'll be there!
  4. i have to laugh b/c it's so damn close to happening to me!
  5. it felt good to gut-laugh at the end of 6th period!
  6. i've turned my yard into a wilderness preserve and my wife doesn't generally ask me to do things i haven't already figured out i need to do first - a great woman, if not more than a little crazy too! anyway, i got a lot of vertical feet in this past year so can't complain 'bout much 'cept suffering the infernal virginia heat for a whole month out of the summer. alpine climbing's suffered the most out of everything, but it's coming back in a big way...
  7. is j evans pritchard telling me how best to appreciate poetry? the surest chance my kids have of living a normal life is to have some fat tournon run me over in the beacon parking lot!
  8. climbing or spraying about climbing?
  9. mountains are clearly more dangerous than cragging, espeically if you're doing difficult rock climbing in the mountains - what's it matter? we all know we can get killed anywhere, so if we have commitments that matter we cover'em w/ insurance and go about enjoying our lives? i respect folks decision to give up alpinism in view of their new families, but i just can't begin to understand it - i guess the mountains just mean so much more to me? it can't be that my family means less...but then how the hell does one ever go about quantifying such things?
  10. ah yes, me and me tauntaun have always had a soft-spot for coke-heads-in-2-pieces... ah, return of the jedi princess - when i knew puberty was finally settling in!
  11. can you think of a terrestrial predator that would dare fuck w/ my taun-taun?
  12. ivan

    Dude!

    e dude, brute?
  13. ivan

    Dude!

    duodenum?
  14. ivan

    Dude!

    do you have to use so many cuss-words?
  15. ivan

    Dude!

    el duderino
  16. ivan

    Cheers!

    yup, that pretty much describes me, despite having obtained the double-trey...
  17. ivan

    Cheers!

    WTF? i clearly was first on the draw w/ this most obscure of references (see above!) - and erik, who's yer thread-killer now beyotch!?!
  18. ivan

    Cheers!

    i think mike just needs to go to a certain bar - a certain bar where everyone knows your name...where they're always glad you came!
  19. ivan

    Cheers!

    actually, now that i think on it, she can say whatever she wants anyhow - i'm not worthy, etc. etc.... checkers!
  20. actually, if you downclimbed the hourglass, the rest of luetholds would be a perfect ski! the lower part in particuliar, much to my dismay... i ain't got no learning - i just conduct meself by the old adage: if'n'you can't dazzle'em w/ brillance, baffle'em w/ bullshit!
  21. ivan

    Cheers!

    if jennifer connelly had just blown me, she could say whatever she wanted on her way out the door
  22. ivan

    Cheers!

    how about "toodles" instead?
  23. that's like, weeks away! i'm lucky if i manage to follow-through on a commitment i make for this evening!
  24. Trip: Der Hood-Wand - Luethold's Little Coulior'a'Kix ePiC! Date: 11/24/2007 Trip Report: did some Xtreme camping at illum-gap on friday w/ a newbie - i'll climb w/ anyone who, upon waking at 2 AM to take a leak returns into the tent w/ a friendly "wanna burn one?" left saturday morning to climb luetholds under an overcast sky - snow conditions down on the reid are heidously deep and the first 1/4 of the couloir blew rhinos until finally becoming good scoured styrofoam - the typical minor rime chunkage poured down w/ the occasional heavy artillery mixed in - ken, who i think is probably going to suffer some serious PTSD after this whole experience, was climbing only his second volcano after the even more intimidating adams-wand, and was working on his own version of ww2 (french vs german technique, w/ the krauts winning too damn much), which slowed him considerably. i roped him through the hourglass, which has a real fun section of alpine ice currently. while belayign him above i noticed rapid wisps of cloud carrying snow coming up from the lowlands, obscuring visibility down low, and rising. by the time we were just a hundred feet below cathedral we were in high winds and whiteout - i didn't relish the thought of trying to get him to downclimb the coulior again, so we battled on up to the summit ridge, totally clad in growing rime - which offered the shittiest vision, my ice-particle blasted naked eyes or my jedi-trainer-simulation iced-out goggles? couldn't help but think of those poor bastards who topped out in a such a storm last year about the same time and didn't know how to get off. it was very bizarre feeling my way down the old-chute descent w/o seeing a single landmark - verrrry deep powder, a creepy feeling and i thought i hard a loud crack at one point but what the hell else was there to do? the hogsback appeared just as i stumbled over it. i was sure there had to be a boot-track, given the # of folks i'd seen headed up that way on friday, but it was completly invisible or destroyed by storm and fog. goddamn i love altimeters - did the entire traverse from below crater rock back to illum gap w/ no references at all but w/ my watch i hit the tent perfectly. ken was bad freaked n' shaken - i think he might be done w/ the whole "mountaineering is kewl" thang. don't know that i could blame him - the only sketchier descent i could remember having done was w/ iain on a very cold halloween years before... the storm showed no signs of abating, and totally soaked and covered in snow the tent was not nearly so pleasant as i'd wanted - it was 2 PM and staying the night wasn't an option w/ no fuel left and a divorce practically assured if i didn't get back by 7. we busted down camp in the howling soup - ken's foam pad, left unsecured for a brief second took off in the direction of the summit at 900 mph. woulda loved to have policed up the mother-of-all turds i'd left right before leaving that morning, but the mountain had claimed it by covering it in a foot of new powder. sorry future illum-campers! we stayed roped for the traverse back to the palmer lifts, which eventually began to appear below the clouds as we descended. the ski slopes were lifeless, a stark contrast to all the gnarly 15 year olds who'd been shred'n'da'shit the day before. gotta love how hood can remain a challenge after a gazillion ascents, and how the experience of as many climbs can maintain confidence in trying conditions!
  25. tried that system out the other day - worked nice - didn't feel crazy hot, but my hands tolerated being exposed all day - the packs need o2 to heat up though, so i think they don't get as hot as they could when bundled under a bunch of layers
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