ivan

"it rubs the lotion on it's skin or else it gets the hose! that's right, precious, the hose!"

kind of a generic story, but illustrative of what i love about beacon - the forecast y-day was for rain and cold and shit in portland, but figured i'd have faith and see what i could make happen out there anyhow. brought a ton of aid gear and clothes for the diggity-dank - greeted instead by mostly clear skies, rock that was mostly dry, and sane windiness - brent and i didn't see a soul on the south side the whole day - the rain that apparantly screwed pdx didn't arrive till the 4 o'clock safety hour when we were leaving anyhow. and on so fine a day, even the most typical beacon route had fun to offer - free for all was no picnic, brent apparantly deciding he would honor the route name by frenching almost the entire thing the real excitement came when rapping on his rope, which he thought was 60 meters, but in actuality is more like 57 meters or so - i thought rope-stretch would get me all the way to ground, but after doing a very titillating bat-man like manuevre to swing towards the uphill side while paying out the last 4 feet of slack to make it a little 1 instead of 10 foot fall to the ground, i made sure to tell brett to just go to the lower station a fine day for a vacuom bottle - i was drinking hot cider all afternoon! a great way to toast the dozen eagles swooping all over the rock and river, screechign their heads off.

that wasn't b/c of the bar dude - that's 'cuz i was sitting next to ya!

i clearly need to learn kungfu...

31! i'm like abe lincoln, minus the beard and respect for "the better angels of our nature" n' shit...

everyone knows snowboarders are godless, degenerate, drug-smoking hippies who deserve whatever wrath gods spit out at them everybody loves a story about innocents getting screwed though, and we climbers are sure...uh...hmmm. perhaps if they had been accompanied by a large, wooden badger?

reminds me of that joke - why does michael jackson like twenty-seven year olds? 'cuz there's 20 of them

remember, the news had gotten very primed for such wilderness survival stories b/c there'd been that big oregon story a week earlier about the dude who tried walking out for help, leaving his family behind (kim? was it?)

unless you like the cold dankness of the north face...

spring or summer? hell, we're going out sunday! come along...

ken - if the weather blows and my alpine plans get scrubbed i'd be up for some of that time at smith - probably best after xmas though...

including yourself? are you a nihilist!? that must be exhausting...

here the patriarch jim demonstrates just how high he can piss after taking a handful of viagra

thursday morning - 7 am - soooo tiiiiiiredddd....

it's okay - he girth hitch a back up to his rock-hard manhood

i'm hoping to go do some alpine up norht then, dave anyone down for beacon on sunday - looks vaguely promising...

was their rope stuck in the anchor or caught in a crack? did they not have jumars? headlamps? good to see all that beacon rope-soloing payign off!

ouh! ouh! can i get mine in blond, phu-leeze!?!

see ya'll round 7

yeah, really! christ, between this weekend and today i know somebody got some n-face-hood-nookie!

where?

gotta disagree on that choice! the chicken-fried-steak-n-eggs-n-hasbrowns-all-mixed-tagethe-w/-gravy special blows all the competition out of the water (plus you get to be extra kewl and special order it when it's not currently listed on the big board) - like an orgasm in yer mouth, but not, like, gay or anything...

shoulda walked over a few feet and done the same to moscow...or taken your life in your hands and done the same on paper tiger.

not unless he quits his job 5 hrs from here! actually, ken oughta win the most hardcore-devoted-to-beacon-n'-willing-to-drive-a-gazzilion-miles-regulary-ta-get-there award - he comes down just about every week and has to be doing, what, 3-400 miles roundtrip?

where's the road washed out? how much of hike from there to cascade pass now?