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specialed

Gym Shenanigans

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My roommate and I failed the lead belay test at the gym last night. Our effort culminated with the nazi gym worker bitch storming off yelling that she'd had enough because we were clowns and not taking it seriously enough. I was skipping bolts on the two foot by two foot grid bolt wall and Matt was using footholds from the red route instead of the white route. Too fuckin funny. We made a big scene in the gym and the gym bitch was crying and getting flustered and shit. She fuckin flipped out when I skipped one bolt. Then I hurt her feelings when I told her it was a hell of a lot more dangerous that the anchor you clip into at the top to lower from is a single bent gate carabiner. She wanted me to wait a day to take the test again since I had failed for skipping clips. I said bullshit we're both here now so I'm going to climb the route again. Holy Shit all this time I actually though I knew how to lead climb. HA!

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how much you have to drink b4 hand there ole pal???

 

and special where do you get off attempting to lead a route?????

 

and special where do you get off thinking you know anything bout climbing????

 

and special where do you get off skipping bolts????

 

you are a dirt cake waiting to happen!!!

 

vie va ak!!!!

 

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Then I hurt her feelings when I told her it was a hell of a lot more dangerous that the anchor you clip into at the top to lower from is a single bent gate carabiner.

 

confused.gif

 

funny story, though. wink.gif

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You better listen to those expert climbers in the gym. That's where all the root of safety begins. fruit.gif

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I must exude confidence and skill. I have never been asked to take a test at the gym. I was informed that I could not teach someone to belay at the gym mad.gif but I did anyway.

 

wink.giftongue.gifwink.giftongue.gifwink.giftongue.gifwink.giffruit.gif

 

 

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LMAO!

 

That story certainly paints a picture...

 

It's also fun to purposely take a whipper while testing. Did that at little gym in norcal once. Their eyes bugged out. Surprisingly, they actually passed me. Funny thing is I ran into the tester a couple of months later on a route down at Pinnacles. They were SCARY on the rock. I let them rap off on my rope (after they had nearly brained me with a few rocks they'd kicked off a ledge) just so that I wouldn't have to be around for the ambulance. The best part is the two of them were wearing matching gym shirts and spraying about the gym comp they'd jsut competed in the day before. When they later hopped on a route they'd scoffed at from the base, I could hear them grunting and screaming on from a half mile up the canyon. hellno3d.gifhellno3d.gif

 

Gym = Reality? Nope.

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how much you have to drink b4 hand there ole pal???

 

and special where do you get off attempting to lead a route?????

 

and special where do you get off thinking you know anything bout climbing????

 

and special where do you get off skipping bolts????

 

you are a dirt cake waiting to happen!!!

 

vie va ak!!!!

 

I think that was the problem, for a couple minutes I actually though I knew something about climbing. Good thing the gym lady set me straight. But seriously, the degree that she flipped out was incredibly dispraportionate to our nominal hooliganism. And I didn't have anything to drink just irie grin.gif

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Scot'teryx gave me a belay test at Cascade Crags, where you are required to anchor yourself to the floor when toproping.

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I failed the belay test at Stone Gardens and they were not very impressed with my assertion that I had been climbing longer than they had been alive and that I could assure them I've never dropped anybody. They told me that they always hear this crap from old guys like me and they didn't really need that kind of attitude in their gym.

 

I think the gym operators feel that they have to make sure everybody does things a certain way or they may be either perceived as an unsafe gym (which might affect their bottom line if mothers wouldn't let their kids climb there) or legally responsible for an accident. The best policy for them is to have a specific rule, and forbid their staff from allowing any exceptions.

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I have been on the other end of that test. If you have ever spent much time at a gym (obviously not), you'd understand why the tests are necessary. Some of the things I have seen in there have just blown my mind, and made me wonder how more people don't get hurt there.

 

You gotta remember that gym's usualy have two types of employees. The climbing bum who dropped outa school and can't get a better job, but has been around the block and knows whats up, knows the difference between sketchy and anal. Then you got the other end of the spectrum, where the employee just barely has enough experience to be giving the lead test in the first place. They probably coudn't tell a gumby from Mark twight, so they treat everyone as if they are a gumby. Which is what they should do.

 

If I were still working at the gym, and had givin specialedumacation a lead test, I'd just say "Dude, don't skip the clips, I know you could and all, but whats the point...just follow the rules so my boss don't yell at me and it'll be all good."

 

The new girl was probaly like, "YOU'RE GUNNA DIE!"

 

So which is the better attitude? Between one that brings back return customers, and one that maintains a level of "saftey???"

 

I'm not sure. All I know is that a newbie that I once taught to lead in the gym got up on a route that was over his head, was too pumped to clip the last draw, so he gunned for the anchor. He fell of the finishing hold and decked from 35ft up. Maybe his belayer had something to do with it, but he wouldn't have decked if had just clipped the damn draw. The walls arn't very tall, so if you skip one, there is a good chance you will hit the deck should you fall. If they allow that, why even make ropes and lead tests mandatory...?

 

I felt pretty guilty about my students mistake, but he was ok, and I tried to make it a learning experience for myself. What I realized is that it is a bad idea to make assumptions about someones ability, or knowledge. Just cause they have old school worn out gear doesn't meen they are experienced, and vise-versa. The smart thing to do is treat everyone equally and follow standards, that way individuals can't be offended by a policy.

 

Anyway whatever...if making the poor chick cry didn't do it for you, I'm sure you'll patch your bruised ego soon enough in one way or another. You can start healing right now, spray on...bigdrink.gif

 

Oh, and one other thing, please remember that I am a former gym employee, and that my opinions don't necesarily reflect the veiws or policies of any particular establishment.

Edited by Lambone

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I agree with you Matt and Lambone (to some extent), except that this gym down here in San Diego is the most ridiculous unsafe ghetto affair ever. They don't even have top-rope belay tests, there's almost more spinning holds than good holds, and I've never seen them change or wash there holds once since I've been here. The employees stand around with their thumbs up there asses and its like pulling teeth to get them to do anything like give you a lead test. The instructor didn't even see if we were doubled back or tied in correctly or were belaying right. With inconsistencies like that how can you expect your customers to take anything seriously? Atleast in the Seattle gyms they're consistently anal.

Oh and I skipped the bolt because the first I did clip was at my knee and I could reach beyond the second one to get to the third one. It didn't even occur to me to clip it.

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Specailed, don't feel bad, i have also failed at Poser World. I said fuck and went to the UW rock instead. I have never been back to the gym.

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Yeah, Matt (P) what did you do? Did you step on rope to hold it down while switching hands while doing that belaying between your legs trick? Did you forget how to tie your knot? confused.gifcantfocus.gif

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One of the funniest things I ever saw working at a gym was when some guy came up for a belay test...

 

It was pretty obvious from the start that he wasn't going to pass the test, when he had a leg loop around his waist, the belay loop was in the back, and he invented some new way of doubleing back the buckle that I probably could never recreate.

 

But he was not offended when I politley recomended signing up for our introductory class.

 

Gym employees live for that shit, it breaks up an otherwise boring and redundant day.

Edited by Lambone

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Any lovely ladies need a spotter in the gym?

 

One of the best perks of the gym is looking at ladies rear ends.

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You should have seen the guy I saw belaying at SG on sunday, he had one hand (brake hand) and when he pulled in slack he would fully take his hand off and shit, when he lowered the climber he would just grab a huge handfull of rope and zing it though and then take his hand off and grab another handfull. I don't thing his friend had even tried to show him how to do it.

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Is that San Diego gym the one out in some industrial business park thing in BFE? Pea gravel on the floor, the bouldering "island" out in the middle, and the bouldering cave area upstairs? 'Cause that place WAS ghetto!

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