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Almost famous


nolanr

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I once drank a sixer of Mickey's Big Mouth by myself in a JanSport tent like the ones Big Lou endorses.

- Dwayner

(P.S. I haven't heard of most of these people that many seem to think are famous. Sometime soon, when 'ol drunk Dwayner is back in his office, I think this whole concept of "fame", and how it is created, would be a worthy topic. Why? Because there are loads of folks doing amazing things out there, that would put some of these "names" to shame if they chose to advertise their accomplishments. Really! {I ain't one of them.]

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But Dwayner,

Were you naked in that tent? Big Lou would have been.

You're right about the fame and advertising it. Anyone ever hear of Tait Rees? A Utah local, the guy freed Moonlight in one push...no falls, no "Yeah I freed it, redpointed the fourth pitch on the fifth try" stuff, just a start on the ground climb to the top without falling. There's a whole stack of folks in Utah that nobody's ever heard of that are climbing very hard stuff. Some 50 year old desert rats doing 5.12 trad routes in the desert onsight and even the Utah crowd hasn't heard of them. Some frenchy tradster in yosemite who would be a superstar in alot of scenes, onsighting Separate Reality, Astroman, the North Face of Rostrum, Alien, etc.

Wanna get famous? Step by step guide:

1. Buddy up with a good photographer.

2. Rehearse on one hard sport route.

3. Get clean, bright clothes with prominent logos.

4. Wait till the light is perfect and get on the route. Shoot tons of film.

5. Submit the best pics to both the rags and the manufacturer's who's logos/shoes/etc you're sporting.

6. Now go bolt a ridiculously hard line somewhere remote. Make sure it's .14c or harder.

7. Aid up it to a high and scenic spot.

8. Shoot tons more film.

9. Submit to the rags again claiming a grade of 5.14 b/c or higher.

10. Say it's at a "secret" area.

11. Finally give directions to the crag to one strong climber when conditions are worst.

12. Revel in your new sponsorships/media worship.

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Exactly. I tag along with several climbers my senior who are unknown and can flash 5.11 and make it look easy. My goal is to absorb 1/10 of their knowledge and skill.

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Okay, time to bust out my Fred Beckey stories. These are second hand, but from reliable sources. Like any good Beckey story, they start out with "There was this grouchy old guy...

My buddy and climbing partner was in Vancouver w/ his fiance at the time (now wife) at MEC checking out gear (40% off all merchandise for Americans--thanks Dru, that's a pretty cool country you got up there), and this scraggly old dude is hassling the employees. My friend looks at the dude, picks up a book by Beckey and looks at the picture on the back, seems like a match. So they ask him, and it is. Next thing you know the lecherous old coot has his arm around my buddy's woman and sez "How do you like my new girlfriend, she's pretty cute, huh?" I mean if you've been molested by Fred Beckey in a gear shop, you're really someone in the climbing community.

Story #2. My bro got a permit to go up Whitney from the east side last year. On his way up, another party is going down. Bringing up the rear is...a grouchy old dude. Turns out it was Beckey, the reason he was grouchy is 'cause he couldn't hang on a 5.6 or 5.7 alpine route at 14K. And he's almost 80 years old. If any of us are even climbing still at that age it'll be a miracle.

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  • 5 months later...

my friend and i were trying to find the trail into "drapel", a crag in switzerland. after bushwacking for about an hour, we were about to give up when we spotted a climbing-looking couple walking up the hill. we caught them and asked them if they knew the way. the guy was really friendly and even recommended some routes after flipping through our photocopies from the guidebook. meanwhile, as i was checking them out, i thought the woman looked familiar. after walking with them for a while, it dawned on me that she was a climber featured in some of the photos in the book. turned out he was the author of the book, claude remy, out climbing with his wife, christine. not quite the same as asking beckey for directions, but it was cool at the time.

i also met bobbi bensman at devil's lake, wisconsin of all places.

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quote:

Originally posted by nolanr:
Okay, time to bust out my Fred Beckey stories....

Passed Fred and a fine looking woman coming down from 3 O'Clock Rock. We got to the cars first and were just changing our shoes when Fred and the woman reach their car. First thing Fred does after taking off his pack is he gives this woman a big congratulatory hug and squeezes her butt cheeks. She pushes him away and slugs him in the chest. She seemed a bit pissed, but he was nonplussed.

I got the evil eye from him a few years later when I skied past him on the way up to Muir, though I doubt my witnessing him being pummeled by a woman was the reason.

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I met Ron Kauk in the bathroom in Yosemite. We had on the same t-shirt.

I then saw Ed Webster bouldering, as I walked around drinking.

I turned around to see Peter Croft waiting for me as I wasted time on the boulder he was apparently waiting to climb, and then again at his car.

I got a little bit of fun made of me by Walt Shipley on Serenity Crack. (He knew my partner, and one of my closest climbing partners dated him for years).

Tim Wilson laughed at me when I first got involved with climbing. We were at the Portland Mountain Guides Alliance training session, and I had bought the longest Petzl quickdraws. I had no idea what they were for.

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my fine friend, crazy jz, and i met darryl hatton at the cliffside pub in squamish. he was having dinner (a big ol' steak) and sharing the table with peter croft, et. al. he told us, "i'm forty, look like i'm 50, and feel like i'm 60." i heard a rumor that he died of AIDS (dirty needles would be the likely scenario). rest in peace.

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