Dechristo

"Why, that little weenie'll fall right through the slat of the grill." Reminds me of what was reported a spiteful Ted Danson said in describing conjugal relations with Whoopie Goldberg: "...it was like throwing a weenie down a hallway."

That's why it's known/practiced:

Got it, cool.

The Blame Game

I have a 58-year-old friend running the Hard Rock this summer. Silverton to Ouray to Telluride back to Silverton, 103 miles, 33,000 feet elevation gain... He's a freakin' animal.

People will go where ever to receive treatment they can afford. Pharmaceuticals from da Canucks. Cancer and dental treatments from de Meskins. Reminds of the late'60's when girls would go "visit their aunt" in New York returning a couple weeks later surrounded by whispers of "abortion". Patience, patients. Take a number and await your turn.

Leon Russell? ... definitely. His segment in Concert for Bangladesh was the best part of the whole show. One of the bands I play in, covers a couple of his works: "Masquerade" and the rousing Russell arrangement for Joe Cocker of "The Letter". Or was the reference to "Leone", the currency of Sierra Leone? You propose living this short life well with lots-o-cash? Or is "leon" short for the latin "leonis" = lion? Gonna live this short breath with the ferocity of da King of deh Beasts, fightin' for the best hump in the pride? Or did you misspell, leaving a letter out of "levon"? Proposin' sittin' back, skinnin' a fat one, and listenin' to old Elton John records? Wut it be, homes?

Christian McBride, one bad-ass bass-player.

be sure to take some reading material with you and... ...LIGHT A MATCH!

Live by the bore, die by the bore. should be "only retired people get tired" you get fewer points for running-over the slow ones.

Are you tellin' me TRASK is my mistress?!?!? Fucker's quite fetching in a Teddy.

Lost six toenails in one swell foop a few years ago. Subsequently, had the same experience as dmarch in trying to get the now mutant nails removed surgically. The hassle is, when I get busy with the mistress and that "funny feelin'" is about to pop, my toes autonomically dig into the bedsheets with one of those fucked up toenails and about rip the sucker off when I bust a nut.

Necro Phil Lee Ack, his mother "Mancer", sister "Sis", and pet "Tic"? Something smells dead... Is that a rotting mouse in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

Oeuf de poof

Ovum in da oven

Zygot in da fry pot

Should be great news for those suffering from hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia.

Even with four stomachs I doubt I cud take much more of this fodder.

just add gravity, fumble-fingers, and elevation differential.

Probably mast.....itis

"Hey... why is this teat I'm pulling on becoming erect?"

"Seems like everything I catch with this rod smells like fish."

Oh... I thought this would be a thread spilling everyones' most precious "times" and there'd be a resultant melee of sprayers ganging up on some poor sap or closet debutante for exposing some intimate detail of their lives; you know, kinda like what happens when a bunch of seventh graders take showers together in Phys. Ed. class for the first time and the new joke in the school becomes Mary's tits being all nipple or the big mole on jake's uncircumsized dick. Imagine my disappointment when I discovered there was no carnage of flying meat here... Yeah, so most of you are still in your warm beds snuggled under blankets and dreams, making stupid noises, and the kind of stupored faces that make stealth photographers cash. I'm strung-out from another late night rehearsal rich with hot licks, airborne party-favors, full-bodied German beer, and strong coffee and I have another to attend tonight... I have a stupored look and I'm not even asleep. ...so, right now, I don't give a fuck; I don't care who sees the sock fall out of my pants as I undress. A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... I played Minesweeper. Beginner level, I believe my best score was 13 seconds; Expert level required a score of less than 200 or it wasn't worth shit.

He's now posting under the avatar of "TJD".

I don't know, I've always had my head leaning back when I've done that.