Dougie wins!
Of the members of the seminal grunge-rock band "Stone Temple Pilots", whom I rode on Saturday, Scott Weiland was the slowest. In fact, when I threw the saddle over his back, he merely whimpered and collapsed on the ground. I don't know if he could have made it past the start gate with my considerable bulk added to the lightweight saddle.
Dean DeLeo did all right. He made it about 100 yards before collapsing in a heap. I didn't expect much from a guitarist, and Dean didn't disappoint.
The younger of the DeLeo brothers, Robert, did pretty well. I think we went about a mile before he bucked me off, protesting the load. I was a bit confused when I couldn't find anywhere to put my water bottle. Can't win them all, I guess.
As is the case when work needs to be done, the drummer was nowhere to be found (what was his name again?). Oh well. Three out of four is good enough for one day.