Dr_Flash_Amazing

Thanks. Just the kind of thing DFA was hoping to avoid, as "unrelenting edges with a crux of one-finger pockets" sounds gnarly enough without worrying about holds busting off. Pass.

Yeah, and, uh, if you could get a good comfortable chair for the autograph table, that would be great. One of them Herman Miller Aeron chairs would suffice. Because the usual cheap metal folding job? Not cutting it for DFA. Also, do you think you had enough of the Official Dr. Flash Amazing Chain Reaction Beta Sequence posters printed up? Those are usually a big seller, and you'll be kicking yourself if you run out early. And Chockstone said they'd have a couple hundred copies of 'Dr. Flash Amazing's How To Be a Motherfuckin' Superstar Crag Champion' shipped over ASAP, but they haven't arrived yet, and DFA is getting peeved. But you know how them publishing fools is. Still waiting on that check, too. D'you think you can have it with on Friday? A Doctor's gotta eat too, ya know.

Please God, no "jams"! There's nothing worse than a bunch of hippies who think they have an iota of musical skill banging out a bunch of discordant, arhythmic caterwauling for hours on end. Just because you have a drum does not mean you have rhythm, and just 'cause you have a guitar or the like doesn't mean you play it well enough to make anyone else want to hear it. Kapish? Unqualified guitar slingers will have their instruments dispatched a-la Animal House.

Is this shit kicking off Friday night or Saturday? It's possible that Dr. Flash Amazing will be in the vicinity, and the good DFA needs to know whether to bring earplugs or not. Also, no one's bringing any guitars or, like, bongo drums or nothing, right? Lord, but that shit gets obnox'.

Hello, friends! Do any of you hard sending freaks have any beta on 5 Easy Pieces? Poor DFA can't recall if it's .13a or b or c or what, let alone the grades of the individual pitches (aside from the first, which is what, .12a or b?). Do ya need two ropes to get down? Izzit runout and chossy? Anything you got would be mucho appreciated. And while we're on the topic of longer sport climbs on Picnic Lunch Wall, has anyone done Highway 97 in its entirety? The last pitch looks fuckin' righteous. Yeah, well, thanks, and have a nice day. Oh, and dial-up sucks. Hurrah.

Toxic, Tragic Plight, Overboard, Heresy, Bloodshot, Blue Lite Spesh, Up For Slabs ... some good 11s. All the 10s at Smithy are suck, and Glassgowkiss is right; all the really good shit starts at 5.12. Get out and punish yourself and get strong!

How 'bout Moondance? Only .11b, right? Couldn't be too hard. Ha ha. Ouch.

See you there, schmucko.

Just trolling for a reaction of some sort. Seems to have been a successful venture, thanks to the new fishfinder!

Yay, it's another exciting Minx-and-Muffy-talk-about-sex-and-make-rack-jokes-thread ... Lord knows we just don't get enough of that ...

Eh? "Scrambling," you say?

Singles night at the Ace of Hearts?

Kindly take your rude trolls for sexual favors elsewhere, as Dr. Flash Amazing is happily married and has no desire to associate with loose, fast, or scandalous women. Plus, you've the temperament of a badger and all the panache of a relapsing glue-sniffer panhandling for Barge Cement. Once more, but hopefully not again, good day.

Try hooking up with THIS GUY, who seems to be at Smith more often than not.

Oh YOU'RE one to talk!

Fuck, it's amazing how loud the mailbox is when the postman drops the mail in there. Like he's trying to knock it off the wall or some shit ... waitasec, what were you guys talking about?

but is it better than dial up? this is my only other option Madam, does Dr. Flash Amazing give the impression that he is tech support or perhaps a marketing stooge for one of the local internet connection purveyors? Far be it from DFA to be less than fully helpful, of course, but might the Doctor suggest that you visit the website of Qwest and find out for yourself? Honestly, it's rather troubling enough dealing with patients all day, not to mention constant nagging from the paparazzi, the autograph hounds, etc., without having to fulfill your every request for information regarding electronic data conveyances. Good day.

Attention cat-who-is-eaten-by-birds: The charming and nimble Dr. Flash Amazing has been occupied of late with such tasks as homebuying and on-the-sly labor, and has had neither the time nor the motivation to sate the needs of every slavering nabob who's just dying for a taste of the Doctor's medicine. Please remember that you are neither the most significant person in the universe, nor likely the brightest bulb on the tree (or the brightest candle in the Menorah), and it's entirely possible that you are thus unworthy of basking in DFAspray. Also, gargle butt gravy, asseyes!

Fairweather! You have deviated from the RepubliScript! Quality of life issues are of no interest to conservatives! Please review your lines: TAX CUT! TAX CUT! TAX CUT! DEREGULATE!

Unless you fancy paying 60 bucks a month for the satellite connection, no.

You motherfuckers think you're all hardcore oldskoolin' it with your one-box Apples and shit ... try playing Quake on one of these: Not so tough now, are ya?!

DFA is ditching Crapcast in a couple days when he moves. Fuckers are on crack thinkin' they can charge that much. You know you're fucking up when your customers think Qwest is lookin' like a good option; shit. Anyway, cable can be retardedly fast. DFA just did one o' them speed tests the other day and the connection was something like 1.7 Mbps, and it's never slower than 256 or so, at the worst. But Crapcast sucks ass, and they need to be given the boot. Maybe when enough people ditch them, they'll figure out that you can only bend over customers so much before they crap on you and leave you limp. Qwest has got a good deal goin' right now, too. Free install and free DSL modem (router?), both of which are usually 99 bucks, plus they're knocking 10 or 15 bucks a month off the service for 12 months. Fuck yeah, baby! http://www.qwest.com

Yes I, er, he, or rather that is to say it was all DFA's idiaia, and we hope you all enjoy it very much. Macaroni!

Couple years ago DFA replaced all his draws due to similar wear. Most of the top biners had gouges ranging in severity from about what Thinker is showing to rather disconcerting rectangular trenches which were as deep as or deeper than the radius on the bottom of the biner stock. Similar wear on the bent gates, but instead it was big round grooves from rope running over them. When you've worn a third of the way through something like a BD Quicksilver, y'ain't got much aluminum left to keep you from forcefully interacting with terra firma. DFA always clips his draws the same way (i.e. one end bolts, one end rope), mostly 'cause there's wiregates on the rope end (used to be bent gates) and straight gates on the bolt end. But due to the hanger-induced chunkage Thinker is discussing, the Doctor wouldn't clip the rope thru the bolt end (depending on the severity of the burrs). The proverbial dos centavos.

Hey, cuck you, fanadian! There aren't many good pics of The Chain Reaction on the interweb; that's the best the Doctor could do. Anyway, as someone whose idea of good climbing is standing in aiders for 12 hours with a machete, a shovel, and a fistful of bird beaks, you're one to talk about dogging!