Dr_Flash_Amazing

'nough said.

Threaten a cc-Jon or Timm@yclimber, go to jail!

WHOA THERE LASSIE may I direct your attention to the best trip report about nothing ever produced Empty Park TR True indeed; greatest story ever told, at least 'round here. We can all learn something from this finely crafted tale.

started 'seabiscuit'. Pop literature. Fucking sellout.

Motherfucker. Dr. Flash Amazing ever catches you yakkin' on your cell phone during takeoff, you'll spend the rest of the flight trying to crap it back out. Plane crasher!

Nice. SBC sold out, what, about ten years ago? They wish their coffee was half as good as [prefix of your choice]bucks. On a side note, persons shopping at Whole Foods market are hereby advised to try Allegro coffee. Fair Trade and/or organic, quite tasty, and the name can be conveniently shortened to A'gro. Yummers.

Generalizations will be your downfall. Most of my posts are mindless bullshit. The rest, however, are well-thought out. Due to the fact that everone except Dru occasionally posts something reflecting intelligence, I'll refrain from saying your posts are worth quite a bit less than mine. However, I think we can all agree on the opinion that you are a useless dumbfuck. Why don't you two go round up a tape measure, and take this dick measuring contest to a nice, quiet spot where you can just succumb to the sexual tension and leg-hump each other raw?

Bolt 'em up; HOO-AHH!

Trick question! The Mrs. don't climb slabs, just like yours truly.

Eh? DFA could take you back to SeaWA, no prob'. Long as you pay for that gasoline! DFA did Bishop in November last year, and it was, how shall we say, facking kohld man. At least at the B'milks. Plus the Amazing family winter road trip is usually to Red Rocks, where it be sunny and warm, the rock be smooth, and liquor be cheap. Yarrrr!

Two of the quickdraws are long Metolius or Petzl draws (depending on whether they are DFA's or Mrs. DFA's), the rest are short BD draws (Enduro straight, Quickwire bent). Cheap, durable, wiregated. The long ones are usually for the anchors. Bail biners are for chumps who like to leave crap hanging on routes. If you can't get up it, either TR it or climb something easier (exceptions being missing holds or other extenuating circumstances). And whoever said a stick clip ... . If you are gonna stick clip, get a fuckin' stick and use some tape. Stick clips are fucktarded, and there are only a few routes where one might actually use such a thing.

Yeah, that shit's all at the second pullout, so it's only a short way up the loop drive (even though you have to drive another 11 miles to get out ), and the approach is about 15 minutes. Once you get to the Gallery, the routes are about 8 feet apart. Kind of ridiculous, but just what the doctor ordered for getting some quick easy mileage in.

Fuck are you on about, oh Evil One?

"ALL WE NEED a little methamphetamine THREE ON SPEED a little subversality WHAT WE DO is nothing you need to know about WHO YOU ARE definitely not one of us all we need is a little pick me up I don't really care if it's clean or if it's cut so give it to me now or you're gonna bring us down ya-hey give me some speed yeeeaaahhhhh WHO ARE THEM they don't know shit about us DIFFERENT STROKES because we wanna live our LIVES FASTER and burn the candle down at ALL THREE ENDS live fast, die fun all we need is a little pick me up I don't really care if it's clean or if it's cut so give it to me now or you're gonna bring us down ya-hey Wa-hooooo!" - NOFX 'Three on Speed'

Also, for those of you in PDX who like the icy coffee, you must proceed directly to Bagel Land, at 42nd 'n' Fremont. Not only do they have the BEST bagels in Portland, hands down, but their coffee is exceptional. But the iced coffee? Well, let's just say they have COFFEE ICE CUBES in it. Yeah, that's right. So no more melty-melty watered down iced coffee, uh-uh. The only beef is that the coffee cubes tend to melt rather slow, so you are sometimes left with a bunch of jumbo cubes in your cup, but if you're a lazy sipper, it's a prime arrangement. Investigate and rejoice.

"It's like butta, baby it's like butta, baby not no Parkay not no margarine strictly butta, baby strictly butta" - TCQ

Sport or trad? Let's just assume sport since all the trad routes are miles long and have multi-mile approaches to boot. Proceed directly to the Gallery, and tick the short routes at the left end of the wall (an 8, a 9, and a couple easy tens, all 4 or so bolts), then head over to Wall of Confusion (~100' away) and do the route on the far left side of the crag. If you still have time, drop down to the Black Corridor (just around the corner from the always fun Sweet Pain wall) and cruise some slabs. That was easy, wasn't it?

Damn fuckin' skippy. Vote Kucinich in '04!

You're SO banned for asking that.

12-15 quickdraws, end of story.

If you're covering gas and food, the Doctor could prob'ly slip out for a few days. DFA'll even drive; the Sub' is a fab roadmobile.

Bitch, you're just jealous 'cause you know you could never send that green problem!

Who's whining? You're whining, RuMR's whining ... DFA's not whining. Anyway, you can't beat an evening of sendin' tuff at the gymmie. Ticked the purple problem, the green problem, the orange, the other green; it was the best climbing day EVER.

See? Those things just make you top-heavy and prone to tipping over. You're much safer without them, or if you do wear one, you should wear ankle weights to balance things out. To do otherwise is just asking for disaster!