Dr_Flash_Amazing

Erik's just pissed 'cause DFA skipped out on craggin' with him when he was down PDX way last wknd. True fact, ask Erik's momma.

Yeah, well, we'll see about that. Be advised that the minimum recommended punishment on the AmazingCo, Inc. Dis Reparations Assessortool 5000 is a "Vigorous, Heels-Off-the-Ground Wedgie", and it just gets worse from there.

*dingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingding!* We have a winner!

You think it's just that easy, chump? You think you can just dis the DFA and then dismiss the dis with a simple "ah, nevermind"? Izzat whatchoo think, Mister? Well you'd best think again, pal. No, you gone done and fucked with Dr. Flash Amazing, and you're gonna pay for that shit. Oh, boy, are you ever gonna pay. Now, where is this alleged insult so DFA can assess your punishment with his AmazingCo, Inc. Dis Reparations Assessortool 5000 (free with your purchase of any pair of Dr. Flash Amazing brand footwear or any set of AmazingTravel brand luggage)?

Tillamooks High's mascot is the Cheesemaker. How proud must a kid be to be able to inform people that they're one of the Fightin' Cheesemakers?

Why has that shit gotten so expensive, anyway? Few years ago, it was like $5.50 for the Baby Loaf (Baaaaabyyyyy Loooaaaaaffff), now it's like $7.50. 's not FAIR, DAMMIT!

What would you do?

Cable internet, yes. Cable TV, no thank you. Even though Comcast (Satan incarnate) offers "free" cable TV via your computer now that they've jacked the price of internet access up ten bucks over what it used to be. Can't wait to move and give those fucks the boot. They make Qwest look like a great business worthy of one's ducats.

Quit T[y]rolling, Dru!

Put down the fucking egos and cooperate.

BUMPERNUTS!!!

Hey, DFA spent 4 hours at the ER recently after a self-inflicted slicing. 3 stitches and some sort of -caine, and too much gauze. Approx. time being treated: .5 hr.

Brilliant retort, Erik.

Mercury reader!

Antisemite!

NO!

That's twice you've said "sooooo punk rock" this week. BUSTED!

"Peter Febreezius"!

Fuck the Marines, and fuck poetry, too. Buncha real macho men, there.

Just swap a vowel around and Mr. Weetjens becomes Mr. Wetjeens!

"These are all reasons why I'll be exploding tonite and why this chip on my shoulder feels like a mile wide it's from the overwork overtime compromise [Chorus:] So I'm looking tonight for some peace of mind maybe then I'll find some strength inside 'cause I've lost any hope of ever changing I'm a short fuse burning And remember who I who I used to be just this one-trick pony so strung on routine yeah, stuck on repeat like you couldn't even believe [Chorus] And everybody don't forget me forget me and everybody don't forget me I forgot who I used to be and everybody don't forget me I forgot who I used to be [Chorus] And everybody don't forget me, forget me and everybody don't forget me I forgot who I used to be yeah I'm a short fuse burning I'm so close to exploding hey everybody don't forget me I forgot who I used to be" - LTJ 'Short Fuse Burning'

In your best cockney accent: "I ain't gonna be a punk no more." "What're you gonna be then, Clyde? [giggle] A skin'ead?" "I'm gonna be a rude boy. Like my dad!"

Do you miss your legs at all?