Dr_Flash_Amazing

Trask er en fiske puler.

Oh, that. Nah, never been past pitch 1. Let's get on that thing next time you're out. Couldn't be too hard, could it?

Gotta be more specific than that, fruitcake; DFA's got a highly fallible memory!

Badgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgers Mushroom, mushroom! Badgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgers Mushroom, mushroom!Badgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgers Mushroom, mushroom! Badgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgers Mushroom, mushroom! A snaaaake, a snaaaaake, oh, it's a snaaaaaake! Badgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgers ...

Dude, you weren't EVEN kidding about the ending! That's gotta be one of the funniest damn things on the internet, hands diggity-down.

Awesome. Judging by the description, that sounds like the one. Must seek it out now!

Don't recall what it was called, although such a tacky title sounds like it would fit the bill. It's gotta be lurking in some dusty corner at the local video emporium, though.

Awww ... another perfectly good polar bear suit lost to the uncaring vicissitudes of staining. Such a shame, such a shame.

RuMR, are you referring to the schpiel in the new R&I? If not, you should run out (right now!) and buy it, as there's an article on plyo' training. Seems that, like campusing, it can be a very effective tool if used in moderation. Otherwise, you're probably gonna blow out something useful, rendering your newfound ability to dyno 6 feet with a mere twitch of your forearms totally useless.

That's Uma Thurman sporting her samurai sword in 'Kill Bill'.

You got ... what is it they say in the ghetto? Oh, yeah, punked. You got punked, ya crab.

Not in a thousand years, holmes. Maybe if they winched a street sweeper up it ...

Oh, come on. It was only one day.

You must be TRing because you are scared shitless of leading Rope-de-Dope Crack. You must train your mental toughness like Texplorer, by going after the wooly ones with no pro'. It is ... your destiny.

Penalty slack, 12 feet.

Sorry for misunderstanding your statement there, Mattso-san. Your point here about dealing directly with our high-impactness as a user group is interesting. How would you propose doing that in an area as popular as Smith Rock? It seems that the only way to reduce the impact of so many people is to resort to some kind of permit system that only allows so many people into the park, or into any given area of the park, at a time. Just doing the basics like staying on the trails only goes so far with so many people tromping up and down them all the time; eventually, the trails and belay areas need help, which is another sort of visual impact. The Doctor's not trying to nitpick you or cause some type of argument, just trying to hear what you have to say or what ideas you have on the matter. 'Cause it's an important issue that unavoidably impacts every climbing area, and hey, discussions are fun.

Forced to back off due to paralyzing fear brought on by the bleak runouts, horrendous rock, and edge-of-the-world exposure, were you?

Sucka! It was pouring at Smith on Saturday. Beer, food, and movies in Bend passed the time, though. Astonishing number of dejected-looking folks in crag attire shuffling about the streets downtown, and lurking at the Pilot Butte Supermegacinematoplex. But Sunday ... ooooohhh, Sunday! Little AM sun to ease the up-and-at-'em, nice hot mug of the strong black, and one of the better cragging days in recent memory. Enough clouds moving through to make the sun enjoyable but prevent greasy conditions, a little breeze, perfect temps, and a killer sunset. If you blew off Smith 'cause of Saturday, you blew the weekend.

DFA heard about some straight-to-video "adventure" movie set in and about Smith Rock, which came out sometime in the mid '90s, 'bout the time "extreme sports" were entering the public eye in a big way (and were being referred to as "extreme"). In the flick, some group of highschool or college aged kids somehow gets in trouble on a river trip (guide/leader drowns or something?) in the middle of the wilderness, and is forced to climb out to safety (for some reason). Apparently this final climbing climax took place on Rope-de-Dope block (no way around that imposing monolith but up and over, no sir), and featured one reluctant loser handing the rack to his more courageous compatriot, admonishing that "it's your funeral." The savage Rope-de-Dope Crack has such a well-earned reputation for causing carnage, havoc, and trauma, don'tcha know.

Very deep analysis there, Aristotle. Any other enlightenment you'd care to shed on the world of Spray?

Rob, Dr. Bootsy Amazing prescribes you a galactic motherfunking boogie enema to clean out that uptight soul of yours, followed by a prolonged period of git down 'til it hurt.

Matt, your view of things like constructing belay platforms and "corrals" (OK, so they do look like corrals) seems somewhat overly cynical. You can look at it as tearing up the base of the cliff, or decorative timbers for the sake of convenience or something, but all those things have been put in place by people who care about the Park (speaking, for the sake of example, of Smith in this instance). If a place that sees as heavy usage as Smith does did not have overbuilt belay areas, steps, and fencing, it would be an ugly mess. All those platforms are preventing a huge amount of erosion, as evidenced by areas that don't get attention at Spring Thing (a quick hike up to Shipwreck Wall will bring this into sharp focus as you stumble over loose talus, as compared to the base of Morning Glory around 5-Gallon Buckets, where there's lots of dirt staying where it should). The fencing/corrals, while imparting a somewhat unfortunate 'Bonanza' aesthetic on the Park, do a great job of keeping people off the fragile vegetated areas that get so hammered when they get tromped on. Perhaps it's unfortunate that so much construction is necessary to preserve the area, but erosion is unavoidable at a place like that, even when folks are being conscientious, and it needs to be prevented.

Shut up, turd-burglar!

And yet you persist in your cruel, insensitive treatment of poor Dr. Flash Amazing. You heartless hartebeast!

DFA would say that, along with the fantastic increase in numbers of climbers at the crags, there has been a proportional increase in attention being paid to impact issues. Back when there were a lot fewer climbers there was no one around to scrutinize if you cut a couple switchbacks or left your used wads of tape under a boulder. But now, it's not just a few people out there, and so cutting a switchback or chucking small trash turns into huge erosion and messy crags in short order. So on the one hand, bigger numbers add up to bigger impacts, but the bigger impacts attract a lot of attention and get dealt with much more handily. Look at Smith Rock. Freakishly high number of users, but the park is very well taken care of. Very well-defined trails, built-up terracing at belay areas, etc. You'll see very few people doing stupid shit out there (at least, very few climbers) like cutting their own trails, etc. Plus, with the Access Fund making a big presence and keeping awareness high with magazine adds and sponsorship of most climbing events, as well as crag cleanups and events like the Spring Thing, there is a sense of ownership among people, and it encourages folks to spread the word and encourage others to mitigate their impact on climbing areas as well.