Dwayner

Get ready to drive south, Davey, because it's Tacoma's turn. your pal, Dwayner

Son of Cave-Dude: a) the gangs in "the hood" aren't even welcome in California. b) And you want conservatives? Don't forget, Ronald Reagan was governor of California before he was president. (But so was Jerry Brown). We got all kinds down there. Orange County, home of Disneyland, Newport Beach and other wonders of the world, is one of the wealthiest and most conservative areas in the country. But then again, we got San Fran and Hollywood...takes all types I guess. Dwayne-Dude

Brother Krueger: Only the "cali" part refers to me. I don't engage in those other activities. And Brother K: Nobody in California bashes "Washi's". Guess what? You know why so many of us live up here? Because you and your fellow natives like our money and sell us your property. You also have imported our trendy culture and so forth. I don't hear people complaining about all the people from Wisconsin here? So just make new friends, swap each other's cool bits and let the invasion continue, because when we're through with our colonization program, the borders of California will stretch from Mexico to Canada, if not to the Arctic Circle. aloha, Dwayner And just for those who expect it, here's a "Dude!" to you all!

Hey sk: Does your use of the word "cali" in your vulgar retort above to Steamer refer to Californians? I've heard "cali" used for such an abbreviation. Just wonderin', cuz if such is the case, I kinda of liked you and thought you had more class. If not, sorry for the intrusion. - Dwayner, from So. Cal.

Hey Brother Charlie! I don't want to be impolite or anything, but regarding that long set of verses above beginning with: "Yo, a day in the life of a player named Quik I'm just a stubborn kind of fellow with a head like a brick." What kind of CRAP is that? Just wonderin'. - Dwayner "Yo", I'm suspicious of anything that begins with the word, "Yo". [ 05-25-2002, 10:31 AM: Message edited by: Dwayner ]

"as a "woman" i would have to agree. i'm not attracted to a man with a ring ... unless it's an earring, toe ring, or a nice pair of nipple rings." So sayeth Lawgoddess. Law-girlie: We must circulate in VERY different worlds. Good point about the wristwatch...take the dang deal off before you scratch the oh-my-heck out of it. - Drunk Dwayner

"Better yet tell her you are Beckey or Big Lou." Hey Dru...have some respect...2002 is THE YEAR OF BIG LOU...and we still have several more months to go. Rumor has it that there is a proposal on the agenda for early next year to declare this to be THE BIG LOU DECADE. If you climb with your wedding ring on, you will eventually scratch or damage the ring and possibly hurt yourself. Besides, men in the know are aware that a wedding ring actually attracts girls, and this is a sure way to end up in the dog-house and/or complicate your climbing "career". Anybody ask BIG LOU'S opinion on this? - Dwayner By the way, in case you haven't noticed, BIG LOU season just started and it typically continues into October, at which time sightings of our favorite gregarious alpine giant are common.

You might be a Washington climber if... your girlfriend's armpits are so hairy that a zookeeper demands that she takes that escaped gorilla out of a headlock.

You want some great adventure racing gear? Dwayner recommends Salomon products including their light packs: Adventure Racing Packs Dwayner also races with Salomon footwear and highly recommends the "Raidrace" shoe. Find It Here Somewhere Good luck! - Dwayner

Most attention-seeking, dramatic, or flamboyant sequence miming. Most pebbles embedded in lycra-clad tokhes from gregarious sit-start.

I'd like to buy Trask a beer. He's a snotty guy and has written rude replies to me, but it's his special day. So here, "Trask", have a Mickey's! Wasn't that good? And while you're at it, check out this: DRINK ME, TRASK! Still thirsty? Cheers, mate! - Dwayner

"My personal favorite was when a guy tried to give me a hip belay...ohhh that made my day! I actually teach my students the hip belay first. Not only do they learn the fundamentals of belaying in a classical way, but it frees them from being a slave to a piece of gear they might drop, lose or forget, thus becoming potential rescue bait or a hazard to themselves or others. When they are competent with the fundamentals, I then add the "toys" [ATC, etc.] which they appreciate for their ease and convenience, but with the knowledge that they could get by without such if they absolutely had to. I actually prefer and use the hip belay on short practice crags [usually top roping], for quick, informal belays, and would do so in a gym (if I frequented such places) were it not for the "rules" [which do seem to be prudent given what can go on in there.]

It's been great to have Fred Beckey show up a few times to Pube Club. That's nice. And someday, we'll get up the courage to ask Big Lou. But there is a chance that we might be able to get a real alpine superstar this week. Check him out: Surprise Guest Master Alpinist

Mystic Nacho inquired: "The REAL question is, Why was Dwayner looking for midget strippers?" The REAL answer is, Nacho, that I was trying to find you a date for your high school prom, and "Beet" seems to be the guy with all of the connections. Ain't it past your bedtime?

"My advice is to stay the fuck in Cali. The last thing we need is another Californicator up here." Shame on you Alpine-K! Me and a host of others up here are Californians. Some of us are open about it, others will retain their anonymity. Here is our plan: we are colonizing the Pacific Northwest with the ultimate goal of extending our borders from Mexico to Canada. How do we accomplish this? You Washingtonians and Oregonians continue to willingly sell us your property. Some of you take the money and stay while others move to Oklahoma or North Dakota. We are also cultural imperialists, since everything we create in Southern California (the trend capital of the universe) is fully embraced in the N.W. a full six months after it has died out in So. Cal., only the trend hangs on up here for a least a year of two longer than it's worth. We brought you the Great Pacific Iron Works, Yosemite-style rock climbing, and numerous other worthy things. And we've got many of you saying the word "dude" with regularity. When we have achieved our border to border goals, we will conquer Canada and make those people our belay slaves. Kalifonia uber alles. - Dude Dwayner

You want to meet the girls at Pube Club? Hang out with Dwayner. Buy him some beer and snacks and he might allow that to happen. Also, be single but wear a wedding ring. For some reason, girls think married guys have more confidence. Dwayner is married but chooses not to wear a ring, but exudes confidence because he really is married. Since chicks dig Dwayner, but he won't play, he will introduce them to you. They will see the ring, flirt with you because you're "safe", and then you con them into thinking you're interesting with some embellished alpine spew. Meanwhile, as you keep the drinks flowing, I tell the gal that you're a famous and wildly admired climber. They will ooh and they will ahhh. At some point, you'll have to deal with the ring issue. You confess that you're really single and you are the best man in your buddy's wedding and wearing the ring was the best way not to lose it. Or you found it on the sidewalk outside of the bar and were keeping it until you tracked down the owner. (If they believe that lame story, then you're well on your way.) Or, try the true confession: "I hear that you meet more girls with the ring." You will either be slapped, admonished or proclaimed an honest man, albeit a devious one. Girls like clever boys, or so I have been told. And don't forget to buy Dwayner a drink and give him a high-five as you leave the bar with your new girlfriend. He'll give you a knowing wink and prepare to shrug off the next Betty looking for action. - Dwayner

It was just last year that I experienced my first annoying exchange with Lambone. He doesn't seem to have made much progress since, but that's just my opinion. One way we dealt with it last summer was to boycott this miserable and coarse little fella by not responding to his posts. With no one to provide him the attention, perhaps he will look inward and a follow a path of self-improvement, ultimately resulting in a Lambone that we could all welcome as our friend and alpine brother. This deserves some thought. - "Mr. Aloha"

Nacho! Did you hang around outside a 7-11 with a $5 reward for whatever chump would buy you a sixer? You know what I'd do? I'd take that $5 plus the beer funds, go inside, buy the beer, walk outside, sit on the curb and drink that beer in front of you. As I walked away I'd say, "Nacho...that's a $10 lesson I just gave you for half price. Have a nice day."

"yeah if there wasn't sport climbing and all climbing was fairly serious there's just be more people playing ultimate frisbee not more people alpine or trad climbing." Don't forget hackey-sack!

Lambone says: "And you were the one who ranted my ear off at the bar about the environmental impacts of bolts." Dude! I'm sorry I even met you at a bar! You keep bringing it up...do you think your commentary that evening was any more enlightening? My reward for meeting you was a vulgar and childish insult about my age and your repetitious mention that we discussed bolts one night late in a bar, a conversation that I found nothing more than ordinary and not particularly interesting.

[ 05-07-2002, 12:42 PM: Message edited by: Dwayner ]

"Dwayner and pope are the hierocracy of Big Lou. YES!!!

[ 05-07-2002, 12:43 PM: Message edited by: Dwayner ]

"Does anyone else see the hierocracy here, or am I just being a “tool?”- Lambone "hierocracy", eh? So you perceive mr. pope and I as priest-rulers? A hierocracy can only exist if it has followers. Perhaps you are one. Time for confession and don't forget to leave a few dollars in the coin-box. Dude: I'm really beginning to think that you crave my attention if not acceptance, because you choose to drag me into your boring rants. "What I propose is that Pope, and Dwayner, two self proclaimed ethical/traditional/environmentalist climbers, are so caught up with their own resentment towards bolts/sport-climbers that they do not even think to consider the outcomes of their own actions." Your pseudo-psychological analysis is a bit of creative fiction. Save the mind-reading for Kreskin and when it's time to fulfill your philosophy requirement, try a coarse in critical thinking or logic. Yes, lamebone, you are a tool. Psychoanalyze that!

It's going to be at the Re-Bar on Thursday night. Pitchers half price for those who dance with their arms way over their heads.