Dwayner

I'm in Norway right now and I'm drunk....that's all. aloha, Dwayner

Willy: I detect some envy. And get your facts straight: a 3:1 is a tripod-fest, not 4:1. - Dwayner, a male, who has been seen at the Club Pubs many times, whereas Willy has not. Who should be doing the guessing, amigo (or is it "amiga"?)

Urban stealth pissing? Yes, a subject of which I am well versed, having learned from some of the great masters. Without revealing all of my many secrets, I'll let you in on this one: phone booths! Be sure that you're at least acting as if you're talking on the phone and beware of shoe splash. Next time, I'm afraid I'm going to have to charge you $10.

What if I told you that there were more celebrities in Tacoma last night than those attending the "Grammy's" or whatever a week ago? What if I told you that I didn't need a map to find this particular venue because the Glow of Alpine Excellence shown like a spot light from miles away? What if I told you that a representative from Encyclopedia Britannica was present to take a photograph of the assembled group to publish in their forthcoming new edition under the topic "Super Climbers of the New Millennium"? You'd probably think I was full of nonsense, wouldn't you?...I thought so. Sorry to inform you, my friends, BUT IT IS YOU THAT ARE WRONG! As evidence, I present the following short list of some of the stellar attendees at last nite's Club Pub at the "E-9": MattP: fresh and feisty from Big 4 Mountain! Mtnrgr: making the world safe for democracy! Yungburra: from the land down under! Mr. Hamacher: with a little bit of Gib Ledge in his recent past! Alpine K: limo, body guards, clinging bimbos and all. Andy Fitz: the Access Fund was well represented! Eddie E: with a fresh phony internet name that I don't remember, "Fast Eddie" was as fast as ever! Chris: one cool cat! Matt: alpine-ready and mountain-charismatic! Russ Chandler: of the famous Chandler climbing dynasty. Plus a rare visit by the elusive "pope". And saving the best for last, we were delighted and honored to have in our midst, two additional Club Pubbers: "V" for Victoria and Anne, both of whom brought, charm, sophistication, beauty and a wealth of climbing wisdom to a group which might have otherwise resorted to lighting "blue flames" and chugging "beer bongs". Thanks for the civilizing influence, ladies. And for those who weren't there...let's just say that you'll just have to wait a few weeks until Tacoma's turn comes up again, and maybe you, too, can experience the magic! - Dwayner

Brother Chuck! I ain't trying to be on a high-horse. I just think wife-trashin', no matter whose it is, should be off-limits, unless you choose to comment on your own spousal unit. At least that's where this Dwayner draws the line. Girlfriends?..they tend to come and go with a certain lack of committment and are thus fair game in my opinion. Mothers? I don't have my mind made up on that one... aloha, Dwayner

This subject annoys me so much I think it is deserving of it's own topic. In a related post I wrote:"Some of you guys act like the Mountaineers have some sort of priority over climbing areas. Baloney!...I've got an idea: LET'S TELL THE MOUNTAINEERS WHERE WE'LL BE CLIMBING SO THEY CAN [choose to] STAY AWAY!! So here's the first one: Attention Mountaineers, etc. Dwayner can't climb for a couple of weekends but when he can, he'll probably be in the Leavenworth area with a couple of his friends. And it's possible he might be on the Tooth or in the Tatoosh Range sometime this summer. Details to follow.

Just bringing this post to the top where it belongs. Drinks will be on MattP: both figuratively and literally.

Crackfiendcarla say:"I doubt you would consider the rock space valuable. The basic classes only climb the really easy stuff." Well I certainly consider it valuable and so do my novice buddies from out of town!Face it: the Mountaineers bring huge HERDS of people into the mountains. When everybody posts their various schedules from all of the different clubs, it will be apparent, if it isn't already, that there is a good chance that on any given weekend, a big club group is going to be somewhere choice, especially on the easier stuff which all of us still enjoy. And wait until you see their schedule of climbs for each club chapter which are not specifically for group instruction!!! The Tooth...limit of ten people signing up, etc. OY X 3!!! [ 03-05-2002: Message edited by: Dwayner ]

Office Space say: "If you need a one hour pump then go pump your woman." Then pope say: "You may joke about your buddy's girlfriend like that, but I'm a married man, and you're talking about my wife." Then Dwayner now say: Office Space: that's so way out of line! Better get off the computer now, the school bus is waiting. Gee whiz!

Attention Female Climbers: Only YOU can prevent this evening's Club Pub in Tacoma from devolving into yet another veritable SAUSAGE-FEST. Engine House 9....it's on Pine just off of Sixth. Activities begin c. 6.30. The boys will be buying some of the beer. Ask yourself this: what better things do you have to do this evening?.....just as I thought...see you there Holly Climber, Jules, Victoria, Dynamite, Allison, Icegurl, ehmmic, Eddie E's girlfriend, and all the others.

Mr. Puget...he says:"Dwayner – My dear friend you have made a very common error. It is not “meat gaze” but “meet gays” You have inverted the double entendre. I mention this only to set the record straight." I stand corrected (or that's what the rabbi told me.) I'll defer to your expertise on this subject.

I read that odd (now vanished?) post and I think I got the idea of it. The writer seemed to be embarrassed by the potty mouth exclamations which are dropped so readily around here, and probably found it inappropriate, especially in relation to the accident posts.Mr. Blakely, for example, wrote:"Jim is a fucking rock...I know everyone on here flips each other shit from time to time but I really believe that everyone truly cares for everyone else and I would trust my life to just about anyone on this board. Fuck the critics..." Say what you want to say, but s#$t and f$%k doesn't go over very well in a lot of places or with a lot of people. I ain't stoppin' you from expressing yourself that way, it's just an insight; just my hypothesis! As for:"I would trust my life to just about anyone on this board.You are FAR more trusting than I, my friend! shalom, Dwayner

Engine House 9 on Sixth and Pine ain't bad. It's not as easy to find as the dang Swiss but it's good.

Sorry, Brother Parker, but your train analogy ain't workin' for me. The train has a right to be on the track; we don't. The train has priority on the track; we don't. THE MOUNTAINEERS HAVE NO PRIORITY OVER PUBLIC CLIMBING AREAS. aloha, Dwayner

I've got an idea: LET'S TELL THE MOUNTAINEERS WHERE WE'LL BE CLIMBING SO THEY CAN STAY AWAY!! - Dwayner

Vegetable dude, he say: "Seems hard to draw the conclusion people are pathetically lonely when they aren't falling over themselves to take this gal out, right? I think that part of the problem is, that with all the phony internet names or "avatars" floating around, people have become skeptical and cautious. Some might be be thinking that our new friend Nadia could be just another smart-ass dude trolling for suckers. I agree with icegirl: Nadia: show up at one of these pub-club things and meet people in-person. It will give you a much better idea about who you're dealing with. Otherwise, good luck.

Some of you guys act like the Mountaineers have some sort of priority over climbing areas. Baloney! If you add up all of the weekends the various Mountaineers groups are in some of the prime areas for taking beginners, it's a whole lot of days. I teach small classes a few times a year and these guys are almost always there. Go climb somewhere else, you say? Why should I? As I said, they go to some of areas that are perfect for beginners in any number of different ways. Do what I do. If you feel like climbing in Leavenworth or the Tooth or wherever, just beat the Mountaineers to the crags. Get up an hour earlier and start climbing. They show up, they act as if we're climbing on their crag, and then they must wait until we're done. We're very polite unless they jump in our face and then we leave when we're done. The mad rush to make up for lost time usually follows. I've seen rented school buses pull up in Icicle Canyon from which a division of Mountaineers emerge. I used to put up with their nonsense until one Saturday morning I showed up at a lovely little area to find a couple of dozen Mountaineers swarming over it. I asked when they would be finished and was told that they were using that crag for the entire weekend. No sir! As things tranpsired, they only used it for a portion of the next day...the afternoon. By the way, I saw the giant group at Spire Rock this weekend: a whole lot of new Mountaineers in the making. And one of the "instructors" (a graduate of last year's basic class) told me that they try to keep the group sizes down: only 8 - 12 people on the Tooth, etc. OY!

And here's a sixer of Mickey's for Batso! NEXT PUB-CLUB WILL BE IN HONOR OF THIS GREAT MAN, BIG-WALL ROLE MODEL AND INSPIRATION FOR US ALL! Drink up! And here's another one! - Dwayner

The correct technical term for observing an individual at a neighboring urinal is "meat-gazing", from the compound verb, "to meat-gaze". Practitioners, whether of the comparative sort, "just curious" type or whatever, are known as "Meat-Gazers". I do not care for this sort of behavior, and when it occurs, I bring an end to it quickly by loudly and publicly announcing, "Eyes Forward, Meat-Gazer!!!" This usually solves the problem. I will occasionally yell this in the company of my innocent climbing buddies in a well crowded restroom, just to be annoying. - Dwayner

Good news! The missing photo's of Kate Moss's starfish have been located....in the summit register of Exit 38. Darn freaky sport-climbers!

Anybody seen Big Lou this week?

You want some good clean fun? My favorite: "Third Man on the Mountain" starring Danno of Hawaii 5-0. It's based on James Ullman's "Banner in the Sky" which is a terrific book. Check it out here: Third Man on the Mountain aloha, Dwayner

Back in college, we used to go into the girls' bathrooms and put Saran-wrap over the toilet bowls and they really liked that! Is that relevant to this discussion?

And what happened to the lovely Holly Climber? I brought a gift-wrapped box of Powerbars (and a card!) What's that you say? Dwayner didn't show up either? Uhhhhh...you see...I on my way and was driving through Fife and I passed this tavern...and I was kind of thirsty...

Originally posted by Lambone: "Whatever tacoma boy..." Is this 'bone-guy going out of his way to find ever more reasons to be unlikeable? Can someone, somewhere, teach this fellow some social skills? - Dwayner, who lives in Tacoma as do many other denizens of this site.