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Posted

Holy Jeebus H. Fuq'n Christ! What a shitty day. So I'm on my way to work, and halfway there I get a call from the wife. I open the phone, and all I hear is wild screaming/blabbering, smoke alarms going crazy in the background, and dogs barking. I yelled over top of her to call 911 and get the Fire Dept. on the way and GTF out of the house, not knowing how big/small the fire was. Then I spin a brodie in the middle of the road and high-tail it back home and beat the FD to the scene.

 

Seems my son (6 yoa) decided to "cook" some oatmeal for breakfast, and his mother decided it was high time to take a shower while he did so. Nick runs into the bathroom and informs Mom that there's a "little fire" on the stove and wants to know how to put it out. Wife exits shower, and finds the stovetop, range hood, built-in MW oven, and cabinet engulfed in flames, the house filling with smoke. Instead of using the fire extinguisher that I had intelligently located in the kitchen when we moved in several years ago in anticipation of just such an emergency, she douses the blaze with whole wheat flour. That flour's some stinky shit when it burns up. :noway: The FD shows up and checks things over, says it's all out, and offers their fan to clear the smoke. I politely decline, bid them adieu, open some windows, and survey the damage... It seems Little Nickie changed his mind from boiling water for oatmeal to boiling olive oil to "see what would happen." Thank Dog the wife put it out with flour instead of throwing water on it :shock:

 

Bottom line: no one hurt, a destroyed range hood, a MW oven that looks like a blob, burnt cabinet doors, singed ceiling. My $500 homeowners deductable is well-met, and the restoration folks have already surveyed the scene and estimate the damage at over $2,500. So I'm starting early tonight... Redhook ESB. :brew: Nick and I will have a little talk this evening about doing what you say you're going to do... :whistle:

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Posted

The house is only 7 years old, and we've been in it for the last four, so it's pretty "new" already. But if the restoration folks can't save the cabinetry over the range, then I'm gonna have to get new cabinets all around if they can't match the rest of the kitchen cabinets that weren't damaged. The MW is toast... literally. :rolleyes:

Posted

.....and good thing your little guy didn't decide to try and put it out and he's good. You probably already had the discussion.

 

In 12 years you'll get a Father's Day card with "Remember the time I almost burnt down the house a couple days before Father's day". He can then buy you the several beers he owes for adding to the cumulative accounting of gray hair. :brew:

Posted

I've actually already taught him how to use a fire extinguisher, because he's become the de facto cook at the house on weekends, and I felt it was important for him to know the procedure for using it (shit, a 2-pack of those things are cheap at Costco and well worth the practice). Why he didn't go for the extinguisher when it was really necessary is beyond me. We'll have to include that point in tonight's incident debrief and analysis/discussion.

 

The little guy knows how to make pancakes, French toast, muffins, brownies, and chocolate cake, and he'll be 7 in August. He says he wants to be a chef when he grows up.

Posted

Glad things turned out ok Paul. I hope you also teach the little lady that wheat flour will burn also. I am glad that it smothered the flames instead of going poof. Wanna bet that beside the new MW and cabinets that you end up with new counters, appliances and flooring?

Posted

Quite the event, Paul. I'm glad for you that, overall, it turned out okay. Just so you know, your little guy can cook for our family anytime: by your description, he's already a better cook than my wife. I'm opening one for you right now.

 

:brew:

Posted

Oh, I'm so glad that's all you lost! Hugs to all of you. Enjoy the beer, Sobo. You deserve it.

 

Have you seen this one about oil fires in the kitchen?

 

[video:youtube]aBDqwOQiZn4

 

Posted
Glad things turned out ok Paul. I hope you also teach the little lady that wheat flour will burn also. I am glad that it smothered the flames instead of going poof. Wanna bet that beside the new MW and cabinets that you end up with new counters, appliances and flooring?

Thanks, Brad, but puh-LEEEEEEZE don't make me take that bet... :noway:

The flooring's safe, though. Real ceramic tile. Can't burn that. I hope...

Posted
Quite the event, Paul. I'm glad for you that, overall, it turned out okay. Just so you know, your little guy can cook for our family anytime: by your description, he's already a better cook than my wife. I'm opening one for you right now.

 

:brew:

And thanks to you, too, Steve. Yeah, both Nick and Elaina like meat, the wife is a vegetarian, and so my kids and I bemoan our fate at her cooking hands and commiserate on how we can sneak out of the house and chow down on pig, hen, and cow... :chebit:

Posted
Oh, I'm so glad that's all you lost! Hugs to all of you. Enjoy the beer, Sobo. You deserve it.

 

Have you seen this one about oil fires in the kitchen?

And thanks to you also, Mel.

Yes indeed, I downloaded and showed that very same vid to my wife just last year when Nick started cooking as a reminder of what not to do in the event of a grease/oil fire. I'm glad she remembered it.

Posted
Oh, I'm so glad that's all you lost! Hugs to all of you. Enjoy the beer, Sobo. You deserve it.

 

Have you seen this one about oil fires in the kitchen?

And thanks to you also, Mel.

Yes indeed, I downloaded and showed that very same vid to my wife just last year when Nick started cooking as a reminder of what not to do in the event of a grease/oil fire. I'm glad she remembered it.

 

Glad to hear everyone is ok. Anything up to the whole house can be replaced. Family, not so much...

Posted

Holy smokes, Sobo! :o

 

Must have been quite the scare for the little guy("flambee'd fried oatmeal"? What was he thinking?! Tell him to save the fancy stuff for the Hell's Kitchen tryouts. :noway:)

 

Glad that everybody and the rest of the house made it through ok. Love to you all and good wishes for a non-eventful weekend. :kisss:

Posted

when my brother was 6 he learned how to write his name, right aroudn the time my dad bought a new car

 

dad n' ma went out on a date, but didn't take the new car

 

babysitter was no doubt stuffing her cakehole and watching tv when chris went out to the garage

 

in some reptilian center of his brain he thought, "gee, dad sure would be proud to see how i can write my name - now, where should i write it and with what?"

 

the car seemed the proper answer to the first question, and a steel brush to the second

 

i can't recall if my dad ever exacted $2500 worth of sweet, sweet revenge out of his eldest boy, or if the babysitter ended up in the bottom of a shallow grave somewhere in the vast expanse of ft hood, texas, but i do remember i got off on a technicality - while my name did too appear on the car, scratched in with much tinier letters a 1/4 deep, i was still shitting meself in diapers and was really only guilty of pointing out to big bro that it wasn't fair his name was all of over the ride and i was totally unrepresented :)

 

congrats on weathering this storm in fine style!

Posted

Well, I got the insurance settlement check... $6,128.04 after subtracting the deductible. So I just got back from Sears where I dropped over $1,500 on a new range (with one of those ceramic flat tops with the radiant burners) and microwave. You were right, Porter, the wife started turning it into a kitchen remodel. She's always wanted one of them new-fangled burnerless stovetops... :rolleyes:

 

The stove: the burner in question...

KitchenFire01.jpg

 

The microwave: whaddaya suppose "F2" means, huh?

KitchenFire02.jpg

 

The ceiling: the wife tried to wipe it down to see if we can pocket the clean-up adjustment. looks like that might work out OK...

KitchenFire03.jpg

 

 

Posted

Wow, thanks for that scintillating observation. Would you have preferred for my son, daughter, and wife to have died in the fire? Would that have made it "shit" (as opposed to "ain't shit") in your esteemed opinion?

 

This event has, however, cost me untold hours of time away from work dealing with insurance agents, adjusters, restoration companies, and appliance salespeople that I wouldn't otherwise have had to fuck with for the past two weeks. :rolleyes:

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