tvashtarkatena Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 (edited) Anyone ever find them in the backcountry? Several years ago I found a couple of beers nine miles into the Ho (not to brag or anything). The unpunctured one was a Guiness. It wasn't too bad. Similarly, I found two shitebocks grown into the moss at Lake Serene about two years ago. One was drinkable, one was not. I'm not sure the taste of Burgie is degraded by the elements. I'd just jumped into the lake's only small melt hole, and I needed blood thinner quick. Who leaves these beers for some curious bear (one can had obvious claw punctures) or stranger in the distant future? Is there, in fact, a beer fairy? Now that's a preternatural being I could get behind. Edited January 31, 2009 by tvashtarkatena Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sobo Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 Is there, in fact, a beer fairy? Yes, Virginia, there is a Beer Fairy... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocky_joe Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 Maine-iac and I were out exploring what we were hoping would be some mines (turned out to be long since collapsed) and we found quite a few piles of what I believe were 70's style Miller cans. It was strange to find trash older than either of us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Dudes lay off my stash. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tvashtarkatena Posted February 1, 2009 Author Share Posted February 1, 2009 (edited) I had a pet tortoise that was older than I was. Spunky. They can live to be 150. This one was about 40 at the time. I would always think, Hey, why do I own you rather than the other way around? Tortoises will consume anything, and I certainly tested that behavior pretty thoroughly. They eat like miniature brontosauri, taking huge bites, chewing with the mouths wide open and masticated against their thick, pink, human-like tongues that are always a bit of a shock to the uninitiated. One time he ate a seagull. Anyway, I fed him a couple of beers and he never came back out of his shell. After he started stinking a bit, I figured it was safe to boil the flesh off of him. He made a pretty cool lamp. Edited February 1, 2009 by tvashtarkatena Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doug Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 jeebus ttk, you're one sick mf'er! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sobo Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 After he started stinking a bit, I figured it was safe to boil the flesh off of him. He made a pretty cool lamp. :lmao: I'm sorry, but I just couldn't keep from laughing. Now I need something to clean the beer off my monitor... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokogirl Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Well about 20 years ago 5 of us were on this tour and up next was to climb and ski Glacier Peak. We were thwarted by rain on Baker so we really rallied to get into the hot springs for an early start the next day. We decided a soak was in order. It got a bit toasty in the hot springs, so a snowball fight ensued. One of the guys, Jim or Gordon, reached for a wad of snow and came up with a can of Schlitz beer. Quickly the snowball fight turned into find the other hidden beers - we only came up with a total of two. Thank you beer fairy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivan Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 i've met far more poo-faires then beer-fairies come to think of it, i'm more met more plain-fairies than any other by far Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tvashtarkatena Posted February 1, 2009 Author Share Posted February 1, 2009 I like the toilet paper fairies that follow certain women around the backcountry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frikadeller Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Once I found a Black Butte Porter on the bottom of the Clackamas river on a tubing trip. I put in my cooler floatie. I later gave it to a douchebag kid that was bumming a beer. He drank it right in front of me. I don't think that he noticed that it was old, and from the bottom of the river, but hey, he was drunk anyways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlpineK Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Not strictly beer About 15 years ago or so. Skiing at A Basin on my own I skied down the First Alley. Since I knew the area well enough I decided to stop in at the somewhat hidden shack part way down the alley. What do I find but a frozen Guinness. I stuck that in my jacket since it wasn't drinkable. I then scored when I found an abandoned film canister. I was really happy then. I had to thaw the beer later, but that didn't bother me at the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G-spotter Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 that's a preternatural being I could get behind. s long as the beer fairy's a boy, eh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhöQ Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
111 Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 working for a trail crew3 years ago, I found a partial 6pack of Pabst Ice with a '97 date on it in a blackberry patch we were clearing. Didnt try any of it, but I still have an unopened can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mtguide Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Stashing booze in the mountains has been common practice for centuries. The St.Bernard rescue dogs of the Alps with their kegs of brandy on their collars is one early example. My first personal experience with the extent to which it can be taken was while I was working as a guide and packer for Irv Lozier at the Box R Ranch NW of Cora and Pinedale, Wyo.back in the early 80's. This incident was presaged by the fact that I was hired over the consumption of an entire fifth of Jack Daniels at a table in the Cowboy Bar in Pinedale, one bright spring afternoon in April. Irv Lozier is a pretty colorful character around Pinedale,a Vietnam vet with 2 silver front teeth, built like a fireplug,a plumb forked cowboy/packer/guide, and used to be ( he finally had to quit, it was literally killing him) a prodigious drinker. Irv wanted me to come with him on the first pack trip of the season, a 5 day swing through the Section Corner Lake country of the northern Wind River range. We had 5 or 6 guests,another guide named Rocky, and Irv and I each led four pack animals. The lead animal in Irv's string was a big old Missouri mule about 18 hands high named Simon, I think. It seemed to me like a lot of pack animals for such a small party, but there was a reason for that. The first two miles out of the ranch are a long steady uphill grade, and it was a hot day as we left the corral,Irv in the lead with his string, then the guests, and I brought up the rear. We'd stop every once in a while on this climb to let the horses and mules "blow", or catch a breather. The second time we stopped, I noticed Irv way up ahead, lean over from his saddle and reach into the crotch of a tree he'd stopped beside, take something out, and then turn in his saddle to reach under the cover of Simon's pack. Then he reached over into the crotch of the tree again and put something back. The next time I watched a little more closely, and this time I could see he was swapping near empty flasks for full ones. This continued all day long with frequent stops. At one creek crossing, I pulled up next to Irv as we let the animals drink. He reached into his saddlebag and came out with a flask, and said "Here, ya better have some o' this, she's good for what ails ya," with that big silver-toothed grin. It was Christian Brothers Brandy and Welches Grape juice, pretty nasty stuff. Finally we got to camp, and unpacked the horses and mules. I hadn't personally packed all of the panniers, just several in my string. As we helped each other unload the heaviest ones, I could tell that four panniers were completely full of filled flasks, and two more were mixed fulls and empties. No wonder we needed so many pack animals. Over the rest of the week, we stayed over for a day in a couple of different spots, and while Rocky and I took the guests on dayrides up to scenic views or fishing, Irv would take off after breakfast with a mule packed with booze, stocking the mountains for hunting season in the fall. When we got back to the Box R at the end of the week, three animals came back with their panniers full of empties. I mentioned it later to Norm Busselle, Irv's foreman, and he laughed and said," Oh yeah, hell, Irv's got thousand of bottles stashed all over the entire northern end of the Bridger Wilderness. I think it's a pretty safe bet to say that you're probably never more than about 50 or 100 feet from a bottle of brandy in this country, you just gotta know where to look." In later years, I ran across some of Irv's bottles way to the south end of the Winds, in the Wolf Lake and Rainbow Lake country, near Mt. Bonnevile,( Irv used to have a hunting camp there) and way up high nestled in the crags up above Tipi Creek,sheep hunting territory at the extreme northern end. So, if you're ever in the Wind River range, headed down after a climb or backcountry ski tour, maybe pushing snow in a whiteout, and need a bit of a pick-up, just look around a bit, cause you're likely close to some long- forgotten "Lozier Water", as they used to call it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike1 Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 When I first saw this topic I thought it might be about some killer home brew based off an ancient recipe. I just bottled up another batch last night of what I'm calling Zombie Mountain. Ya, it’s a Porter... get it? Ah forget it. Anyways, I worked a fed highway survey crew for a few years in the early ‘90's and this old codger of a project lead told us that if we stumbled across an old beer we could drink it on the spot if we guzzled or shotgunned it without any concern for whether it was going to kill us or give us a buzz. In those two years I put down a Bud in the Grand Tetons, a Hamms in Yellowstone and a couple Raindog pounders in the Tongass NF (that was a gooood day). I'd have to say the Hamms was the scariest because it was so faded but it wasn't swollen so I shotgunned it. tasted like Hamms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tvashtarkatena Posted February 2, 2009 Author Share Posted February 2, 2009 that's a preternatural being I could get behind. s long as the beer fairy's a boy, eh Hey, twice the dates Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaskadskyjKozak Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 i've met far more poo-faires then beer-fairies come to think of it, i'm more met more plain-fairies than any other by far karma Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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