Finally. God Defined.

[tvashtarkatena]

Like many atheists, I think about God a lot. Why do so many people buy this story about a Great Big Fuzzy Kitty Way Up In The Sky Who Loves You? Given the fucked up nature of the world and humanity, certainly most people are wrong about most things most of the time, so the popularity of an idea speaks little to its validity. Still, there remains an inherent human need to believe in something greater than us, to explain the as yet unexplained or seemingly unexplainable, and to provide a gateway to the eternal for our lot, damned as we are to such a short corporal existence. What's a theosopher to do? How does one reconcile a fucked up universe with a supposedly perfect God? Human free will? That explains asteroid impacts? I think not.

 

Well, I've come up with a theosophy that reconciles these two ideas, but current Christian thought needs to give up just one little assumption to accomodate it, and that is the idea of divine perfection.

 

Not only is God not perfect, he's a complete fuck up. A reject. A flunky. Last in his class. The McCain of Gods, if you will.

 

And because our God was a reject, he was given a fucked up, junk yard universe to rule. Since then, God has been building us up just so that he can knock us down. He's a cruel, sick sumbich whose convinced his followers that they can beat cancer just so he can watch it metastizise, or believe that the world was there's for the taking, just so he could watch them hord and shit all over it, then kill each other for the leftovers.

 

This is not a God you'd want to pray to, anymore than you'd want to pray to the wet brained psycho screaming on the corner of 1st and Yesler. Those who know what's good for them will not attempt to make eye contact with this Fellow, nevermind ask Him for something. In essense, God and Satan are actually the same Jerk.

 

The Greeks and Romans came closest to this Truth with their myths of jealous, petty, shitty little gods who continually fucked with humans, both figurately and literally. Even the Jews, with their asshole, I'll-kill-your-whole-lineage-if-you-don't-whack-your-favorite-goat God was pretty close...then Jesus came along and put everybody on the wrong track...on purpose, of course.

 

I hope that my new theosophy brings comfort to those who may have previously been unable to reconcile a perfect, divine diety with a pre-fucked, dive reality.

 

Those who do find comfort in this somewhat harsher but far more believable Truth may send tax evadable donations my way so that I may spread this comfort further to those who still suffer from too much smoke being blown up their asses.

 

Thank you. I wish I could say God Bless, but that's just not what He's really into.

Edited September 9, 2008 by tvashtarkatena

[rob]

I met god over the weekend. Turns out he was hanging out in the north cascades. Who knew?

 

 

Here we are, sorting shit out.

[Off_White]

He'll put you on the rack,

suspend you from a rope,

he'll stuff you in a grinder

break your jaw and cut your throat.

 

He'll visit you with locusts

he'll visit you with plague

he'll visit your apartment

kill your cat and break your leg.

 

He'll cover you with cooking oil

and roast you on a spit.

He'll give you indigestion

and then staple your lips.

 

He'll fill your head and heart

with dreams that can't come true,

and spend his weekend thinking of

different kinds of flu.

 

He'll slaughter the innocent

just to test your faith,

put glass under your tires

spit tobacco in your face

 

He'll fill the world with roaches

slugs and jellyfish.

He'll give you years of horror

for every second of bliss.

 

He'll give you diseases

make your teeth turn brown

have you eaten up by maggots

when you're six feet underground...

 

He does all these things

'cause he loves everybody.

If you disagree he'll pulverize

every bone in your body.

 

'Cause God is a groovy guy

Uh huh, get down.

God is a groovy guy

Uh huh, good God.

[Phil K]

That may be your universe, but SOME of us here apparently live in an alternate nearly-perfect universe in which the good Mavericky (and in one case, kinda' hot) contenders will triumph and HIS will will be done. Which means of course that we'll kill all the nonbeleivers and brown skinned types. This universe is only marred by the presence of whiny libtards who insist on presenting facts which we consistently ignore, thereby negating their existence.

 

Howcome this youtube thingy don't work?

 

 

 

 

Edited September 9, 2008 by PHILONIUS

[olyclimber]

You can do it at a trot, you can do it at a gallup, you can do it real slow so your heart won't palpitate, just don't be late, Do the Puyallup.

 

[bstach]

Who are you to question what The Potter has made with His clay? Dance little man, dance to the cosmic tune until your pitiful life turns back to dust.

[mccallboater]

And now for a completely different viewpoint:

 

[tvashtarkatena]

Yahoo-weh represents.

[ericb]

It's easy to understand why someone who believes in God would try and show an un-believer the err of his ways...out of compassion for the soul. The justification of this in reverse seems to elude me. Are you (TTK) that insecure of your own position and beliefs that you need some sort of validation?

 

"Don't believe in God....I don't and just look how happy I am"

 

So your idea of fulfillment is getting compliments on your flower macro shots and spending countless hours on stupid Youtube videos....GOOD FOR YOU....but no need to be threatened by the possibility that there might be more to life that you are missing out on.

[KaskadskyjKozak]

It's easy to understand why someone who believes in God would try and show an un-believer the err of his ways...out of compassion for the soul. The justification of this in reverse seems to elude me. Are you (TTK) that insecure of your own position and beliefs that you need some sort of validation?

 

It is narcissism exemplified. TTK's hell will likely be an eternity alone in a room surrounded by mirrors.

 

[tvashtarkatena]

At least I'm damned to spend my brief corporal existence armed with a sense of humor. Jebus, talk about getting a life. Fucking drama queens.

 

BTW, thanks for spending your valuable time watching my waste of time youtube presentations. Hope you weren't late for church.

 

Of course, the implicit assumption here is that the ridiculous five year old's fairyland you believe in is any more legitimate than the one I presented. I beg to differ.

Edited September 10, 2008 by tvashtarkatena

[RuMR]

apparently scientists are close to creating self replicating cells...

[ivan]

 

It is narcissism exemplified. TTK's hell will likely be an eternity alone in a room surrounded by mirrors.

umm, am i misremebering the greek myth of wasn't naricissus in love w/ his image? and so, if ttk was in fact what you accuse him of being, wouldn't your hell for him be more heavenly?

 

really, everything i needed to know about god i learned from reading Oolon Colluphid's series of philosophical blockbusters ("Where God Went Wrong", "Some More of God's Greatest Mistakes", "Who is this God Person Anyway?" and "That About Wraps it Up for God")

[tvashtarkatena]

 

It is narcissism exemplified. TTK's hell will likely be an eternity alone in a room surrounded by mirrors.

umm, am i misremebering the greek myth of wasn't naricissus in love w/ his image? and so, if ttk was in fact what you accuse him of being, wouldn't your hell for him be more heavenly?

 

really, everything i needed to know about god i learned from reading Oolon Colluphid

s series of philosophical blockbusters ("Where God Went Wrong", "Some More of God's Greatest Mistakes", "Who is this God Person Anyway?" and "That About Wraps it Up for God")

 

God has a special place for his larger, smarter creatures.

[rob]

I met a guy on the bus who claimed to be Jesus. He was really upset that nobody believed him

[akhalteke]

It's easy to understand why someone who believes in God would try and show an un-believer the err of his ways...out of compassion for the soul. The justification of this in reverse seems to elude me. Are you (TTK) that insecure of your own position and beliefs that you need some sort of validation?

 

It is narcissism exemplified. TTK's hell will likely be an eternity alone in a room surrounded by mirrors.

 

Either that, or free-will asked for and delivered is the reason for the evils in the Universe. Have you tried asking the big man himself; ya know, cut out the middle man so to speak?

[tvashtarkatena]

The universe isn't evil. It just is. And it's just fucked up. The mass extinction which wiped out 95% of all species on earth is a case in point. Kind of a waste of a lot of effort, doncha think? It happened hundreds of millions of years before man evolved to wrestle with his conscience about things like God and free will. It was God practicing for when Man came along. Finally, a creature with the intelligence and imagination to be really fucked with.

[tvashtarkatena]

 

So your idea of fulfillment is getting compliments on your flower macro shots and spending countless hours on stupid Youtube videos....GOOD FOR YOU....but no need to be threatened by the possibility that there might be more to life that you are missing out on.

 

Were you sent here to reveal God's personal plan for me?

[sobo]

Finally, a creature with the intelligence and imagination to be really fucked with.

He was always just waiting for us...

 

[mike1]

God???? No god... (30 days of night)

Only chaos in my universe. But if I did believe in a god... well, your god explains a lot and I wouldn’t need to have faith ttk. By the way, I do claim this universe as mine! Get out!

[Recycled]

Scroll down a bit to "What Makes People Vote Republican." Both the article and the responses are interesting, once you get past the first page or two.

 

http://www.edge.org/documents/archive/edge256.html#haidt

[ivan]

"our fathers were our role-model for god. if our fathers abandoned us, what does this tell us about god?"

[ericb]

 

So your idea of fulfillment is getting compliments on your flower macro shots and spending countless hours on stupid Youtube videos....GOOD FOR YOU....but no need to be threatened by the possibility that there might be more to life that you are missing out on.

 

Were you sent here to reveal God's personal plan for me?

 

That would be a bit arrogant, but that said, I'd like to believe that the bitch-tittie chiding kicked off a little personal fitness epiphany on your part...you are looking slimmer....dare I take credit?

[STP]

"our fathers were our role-model for god. if our fathers abandoned us, what does this tell us about god?"

 

And what about what Morrison sang about in The End?

 

dbI5K0AzNHI

 

Father, I want to kill you.

 

QHFK1yKfiGo

 

 

[olyclimber]

 

So your idea of fulfillment is getting compliments on your flower macro shots and spending countless hours on stupid Youtube videos....GOOD FOR YOU....but no need to be threatened by the possibility that there might be more to life that you are missing out on.

 

Were you sent here to reveal God's personal plan for me?

 

That would be a bit arrogant, but that said, I'd like to believe that the bitch-tittie chiding kicked off a little personal fitness epiphany on your part...you are looking slimmer....dare I take credit?

 

Eric, why do you hate women? Just because someone has tits doesn't make them a "bitch"...well, unless they are a female dog of course.