Marriage

[Dechristo]

wurd

[Sherri]

My wife and I just celebrated our 10th anniversary.

 

We are perfectly compatible:

 

We go on vacation and she sits in the spa while I hike/climb.

 

She doesn't drink beer, so that means more for me!

 

I'd rather be in the mountains - she'd rather be at the mall.

 

She watches reality TV incessantly - Top Chef, Rock of Love, Top Model, etc. I can't stand that shit.

 

Kidding aside, we have all the really important things in common, and almost none of the the little stuff. For me, that keeps it more interesting.

 

We're celebrating our 12th anniversary this weekend, and I wholeheartedly agree with the above as being the reason we've made it this far(and are still very happy to keep going ). We are complete opposites in almost every aspect of our lifestyles and interests,we do almost no activities as a couple, but when it comes to the big issues of a relationship, like honesty, commitment, compassion, respect, etc, and core values in general, we couldn't be more alike. Those are things that matter, in our book. The other stuff is just window dressing, it'll come and go and change and grow and die--not really the things on which you want to base your reason for being together.

[selkirk]

Imagine if your wife insisted that you accompany her on trips to the mall, sat home and festered while you were out climbing instead of pursuing her own interests, etc?

 

Why in the world would you marry someone like that? That is in no way caused by marriage. It's all about the 2 people involved, and some people just shouldn't be inflicted on others.

[tvashtarkatena]

Heard a story on NPR a while back that delved into the divorce-rate stats a bit. Sounds like the divorce rate for better-off folks who went to college has actually been trending down since the early '90's, and the divorce rate for poor folks without degrees has been holding steady and/or increasing.

 

Always thought that it was interesting that atheists/agnostics had the lowest divorce rate of any "faith" group. People that fall into this category may well marry at lower rates overall, and marry later in life, and the stats may not take these factors into accounts, but I still thought it was interesting, especially when held up alongside the stats for Baptist/Fundamentalist folks.

 

Religion % have been divorced

Jews 30%

Born-again Christians 27%

Other Christians 24%

Atheists, Agnostics 21%

 

http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_dira.htm

 

 

Atheists don't get divorced as much because we don't get married as much. We're too busy hating a God that doesn't exist and, hey, what's the point anyway? We're all doomed.

[archenemy]

yeah, money is the top reason people divorce.

 

I thought is was sex.....or lack of.

 

Thats why people have affairs. Or at least why men have affairs.

 

Dude, women have just as many affairs as men.

 

True, but for different reasons.

I love it when suddenly a man pretends to understand women's motives. It makes for a good laugh.

[Fairweather]

 

Atheists don't get divorced as much because we don't get married as much. We're too busy hating a God that doesn't exist and, hey, what's the point anyway? We're all doomed.

 

You've summarized why a secular-leaning conservative like myself would rather put his political lot in with the hopeful religious - and why the faithless don't govern well.

[tvashtarkatena]

"A successful marriage is a daily battle of wills that ends in the death of one or both combatants."

[rob]

My wife and I just celebrated our 10th anniversary.

 

We are perfectly compatible:

 

We go on vacation and she sits in the spa while I hike/climb.

 

She doesn't drink beer, so that means more for me!

 

I'd rather be in the mountains - she'd rather be at the mall.

 

She watches reality TV incessantly - Top Chef, Rock of Love, Top Model, etc. I can't stand that shit.

 

Kidding aside, we have all the really important things in common, and almost none of the the little stuff. For me, that keeps it more interesting.

 

We're celebrating our 12th anniversary this weekend, and I wholeheartedly agree with the above as being the reason we've made it this far(and are still very happy to keep going ). We are complete opposites in almost every aspect of our lifestyles and interests,we do almost no activities as a couple, but when it comes to the big issues of a relationship, like honesty, commitment, compassion, respect, etc, and core values in general, we couldn't be more alike. Those are things that matter, in our book. The other stuff is just window dressing, it'll come and go and change and grow and die--not really the things on which you want to base your reason for being together.

 

my wife and I, the same. We're both into totally different things, yet somehow it balances out because the way we view life is the same, even if we engage life in different ways. That's what it takes to get through the rough stuff.

 

My wife and I suspected almost right away that we would get married, and now it's been 8 years.

[tvashtarkatena]

 

Atheists don't get divorced as much because we don't get married as much. We're too busy hating a God that doesn't exist and, hey, what's the point anyway? We're all doomed.

 

You've summarized why a secular-leaning conservative like myself would rather put his political lot in with the hopeful religious - and why the faithless don't govern well.

 

You've summarized why you might think about mail ordering a sense of humor.

[Stefan]

Marriage--it aint for everyone. Just like kids. Kids aint for everyone.

 

Been married for 15 years. Looking forward for the next 45 years.

 

If you are thinking about marrying someone, live with them for at least one year in the same dwelling before you get married. That way you learn much more about the person, the choices they make, and their values.

[kevbone]

yeah, money is the top reason people divorce.

 

I thought is was sex.....or lack of.

 

Thats why people have affairs. Or at least why men have affairs.

 

Dude, women have just as many affairs as men.

 

True, but for different reasons.

I love it when suddenly a man pretends to understand women's motives. It makes for a good laugh.

 

I think its funny when a man pretends to know a women….period.

[tvashtarkatena]

yeah, money is the top reason people divorce.

 

I thought is was sex.....or lack of.

 

Thats why people have affairs. Or at least why men have affairs.

 

Dude, women have just as many affairs as men.

 

True, but for different reasons.

I love it when suddenly a man pretends to understand women's motives. It makes for a good laugh.

 

Women don't have motives. They are pure and true in that sense.

[canyondweller]

yeah, money is the top reason people divorce.

 

I thought is was sex.....or lack of.

 

Thats why people have affairs. Or at least why men have affairs.

 

Dude, women have just as many affairs as men.

 

True, but for different reasons.

I love it when suddenly a man pretends to understand women's motives. It makes for a good laugh.

 

Obviously, everyone has their own motives. However, speaking statistically, based on anecdotal evidence, I believe he is correct. Rules of thumb apply, disclaimer that, blah, blah, blah. Bottom line is, IN GENERAL, a woman's motives for an affair seem to differ from a man's motives.

 

 

[joblo7]

wow!!! that's going to be a rude awakening!!

[joblo7]

women don't usually KNOW their motives, or that they have any.

[archenemy]

You guys are great.

[joblo7]

You guys are great.

 

YOU TOOOOO HONEY BUNNY!

[Fairweather]

My wife and I just celebrated our 10th anniversary.

 

We are perfectly compatible:

 

We go on vacation and she sits in the spa while I hike/climb.

 

She doesn't drink beer, so that means more for me!

 

I'd rather be in the mountains - she'd rather be at the mall.

 

She watches reality TV incessantly - Top Chef, Rock of Love, Top Model, etc. I can't stand that shit.

 

Kidding aside, we have all the really important things in common, and almost none of the the little stuff. For me, that keeps it more interesting.

 

We're celebrating our 12th anniversary this weekend, and I wholeheartedly agree with the above as being the reason we've made it this far(and are still very happy to keep going ). We are complete opposites in almost every aspect of our lifestyles and interests,we do almost no activities as a couple, but when it comes to the big issues of a relationship, like honesty, commitment, compassion, respect, etc, and core values in general, we couldn't be more alike. Those are things that matter, in our book. The other stuff is just window dressing, it'll come and go and change and grow and die--not really the things on which you want to base your reason for being together.

 

Good comments. Met at a party in college. Married 11 months later. Together 23 years last month. Two kids; 18 and 21 now - in two different univer$itie$. She hates climbing, but that's ok - she's a skiing maniac. She loves slowpitch - I hate it. Now that the kids are (sorta) gone it's just the two of us for the first time. Kind of weird. I keep telling her we should start over and adopt, but she has this idea that we're gonna travel more. I say Alaska, Europe, Chile. She says Belize, Tahiti, Australia. It's gonna be an interesting rest of our lives.

 

Would I trade my married life for a Fred Beckey-type life? No.

Edited October 10, 2007 by Fairweather

[KaskadskyjKozak]

You guys are great.

 

YOU TOOOOO HONEY BUNNY!

 

Why the sad face? Smile, pussycat!!

[rmncwrtr]

Why do women smile as they walk down the isle to get married?

Because they know that was the last blow job they will ever have to give.

 

Then those women are idiots and now divorced.

[KaskadskyjKozak]

 

This thread is so lame.

[StreetBoss]

Marriage is so overrated.

 

 

[mullster]

Marriage is lame ... of course I'm in the midst of a nasty divorce so I'm a bit biased. Never again I say!!!

Oregon requires those that are getting divorced go thru a "parenting class" ... statistics they give include:

1)nearly 50% of 1st marriages end in divorce

2)over 70% of 2nd marriages end in divorce

I would have to agree with what was said in an earlier post .. if you are thinking of getting married .. live with the person for a number of years. Travel, have fun, have fights, learn each others idiosyncracies. People change after the rings are put on. And kids ... they are the best things, but NOT a reason to stay together when you know the relationship has ended!!

Another thing to think about ... look at your spouses parents .. they will be like them later in life!!!

DAMN ... if only I had these helpful hints prior to my walk down the isle!!!! :-(

 

[minx]

 

Atheists don't get divorced as much because we don't get married as much. We're too busy hating a God that doesn't exist and, hey, what's the point anyway? We're all doomed.

 

hmmm...sounds a bit more nihilistic than athietist to me. dash of one and splash of the other i guess.

 

as a devout athiest, i can't provide you a single moral or spiritual reason to get married. you can make a commitment with out signing a piece of paper. if you want to sign a piece of paper buy a house together. there's a lot more paper to sign and its just as complicated to get out of that contract as it is to get a divorce.

 

that said, i'm happily married. we did it for our own reasons. none of which have to do with traditional family values. we did spend a very long time dating and living in sin. it was good. it still is. your relationship won't get better or worse b/c you get married or you don't.

 

 

[RuMR]

I got married in July. I'm super stoked. I've known since day 1 that i met my soulmate. Cheezy i know, but true. Our pre-nup was no cable tv. In my vows i said i'd clean the litter box, and she said she's ropegun my up a multi-pitch 5.11, i'm thinking astroman (astrowoman).

ahhh...isn't that sweet? He isn't jaded yet! :lmao: