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Sabertooth

Wacky Route Names

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What are the strangest names for routes you have ever seen?

 

I thought I had seen it all until I heard about some new routes in Tieton. Diarrhea Direct, Fudge Packer, Dirty Sanchez??? rolleyes.gif Come on Joe, you can do better than that. Kids climb here. How about some names a little less offensive, for the new book?

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Did my contribution of Rumsfeld's Nubbins ever make it into the new Watts guidebook? Oh wait! Why don't I go check in my copy!

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Well, since we're on risque rather than wacky, City of Rocks had some doozies:

 

Adolescent Homo

Nipples and Clits

and some others I can't recall. They're all moderate routes on a short wall, just the kind of thing you'd take your kids to. I know I did, we just sort of "renamed" the climbs in a temporary manner.

 

Also, some boulders at Santee in San Diego:

 

Butt Plug

Doggy Dick

 

and a buildering problem at Evergreen in Olympia:

Gynecologist (the end of the problem is when you reach up and put your finger in the hole)

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Jordop and I added Angry Nipple Discharge, and Carlos Rossi Memorial Tower to the list o' stupid names.

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Anal Tongue Darts

Golden Shower

The Vagina

Trent's Mom

 

I think Trent's Mom is my favorite, because when talking about it and in pictures, things like this always come up, "Dave doing Trent's Mom" Plus the problem has a vertical 3 finger slot. yellaf.gif

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Bill Robins was quite "famous" for his choice of route names, wherever he climbed. His legacy is probably most notable around Frenchman's Coulee. Check the guide book for some of his more memorable route monikers...

 

PS Saber: Did you get the package I sent you? And did you check out the downtown store for "the manuscript" yet?

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Orifice Fish

Too Drunk To Fuck

Sewer Rat Might Taste Like Pumpkin Pie But I'd Never Know Cause Id Never Eat The Filthy Motherfucker

Screw BC Parks

Hot Cherry Bendover

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Sherman, Head, Murray & Co have some great ones - from Hueco Tanks Guide:

 

Another Lonely Felchboy

Baby Born With A Wooden Leg

Barfing Up The Wrong Tree

Beaster Bunny

Bilbo Gets Buggered

Castro's Bizarre Wormburger

The Cornhologram

Devil's Butthole

Dwarf Toss Tragedy

French Kiss From Grandma

General Fishe's Half-Inch Journey Of Delight

Hobbit In A Blender

Hyperconcious Master Of The Extreem

Illinios Enema Bandit

Ilsa, She-Wolf Of The SS

Legless Little Hero

Mouthful Of Vapo-Rub

Old School Retrogrind Crunch Funk

Sorority Babes In The Slimeball Bowl-A-Rama

Stunt Breasts

Suck In Dick

Ten Inch Plastic Boyfriend

Uncut Yogi

The Vagitarian

Weed With Roots In Hell

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I still think hot cherry bendover was a PERFECT name for that climb.

bigdrink.gif -that beer's for a fallen comrade. bring back the bendover!

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From Granite Mountain, Arizona:

 

Magnolia Thunder Pussy (involves chimneying out a hanging flake system with a gaping maw)

 

Beaver Cleaver (runout face directly above a knife edge buttress top)

 

Granite Jungle (awkward squeeze chimney)

 

The area has many other excellent route names. Hats off to first ascent teams that put thought and creativity into their route names. bigdrink.gif

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From Selected Climbs at Red River Gorge:

 

Are the Pies Fresh?

Ball Scratcher

Bohica

Buff the Wood

Come in Your Lycra

Cosmic Sausage

Into the Purple Valley

Kick Me in the Jimmie

Milkin' the Chicken

Pocket Pussy

The Reacharound

Rectal Exorcism

Skin boat

Slip it in

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What's that "Brad Driscoll Outnumbered his guests" one?

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Something like: "Brad Driscoll outnumbered his guests by one, but a good time was had by all."

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