Thadsboner Posted February 5, 2004 Share Posted February 5, 2004 What is everybodys waiting time with a new girlfriend? Personally i only wait less than a week before i rip a winner in front of her, show her the real me. then another few days till i dutch oven her. And you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sk Posted February 5, 2004 Share Posted February 5, 2004 "whereever you may be let your farts fly free" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bug Posted February 5, 2004 Share Posted February 5, 2004 Be careful out there boys. Girl farts have been the worst I've smelled so far. I think it has something to do with all that dieting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenderfour Posted February 5, 2004 Share Posted February 5, 2004 I wouldn't worry too much. By your knowledge of the topic, you seem pretty casual about it. Chances are you will be in the car driving her to The Met, and forget yourself as you pass your own meat flavored wind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iain Posted February 5, 2004 Share Posted February 5, 2004 if it is a cold night perhaps a dutch oven could represent your ability and desire to provide warmth and shelter to her. that might be your in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arlen Posted February 5, 2004 Share Posted February 5, 2004 It's best determine by what you've eaten in the last 12 hours. Â Mexican: during first week is OK Thai or Vietnamese: same Italian: 10 days Meatloaf: 2 weeks Seafood buffet: 20 days Steak: 3 weeks Sushi: better have a ring in your pocket Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whirlwind Posted February 5, 2004 Share Posted February 5, 2004 personally i let em fly as much as posible cuase it hides the BO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunglehead Posted February 5, 2004 Share Posted February 5, 2004 Fart first thing. Or right when you meet the folks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenderfour Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 You could wait for a particularly romantic moment. That way she won't expect too much from you in the future. Valentine's day is coming up... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E-rock Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 I wait at least a month before I fart into her mouth while she's giving me a rim-job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glacier Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 "Fart proudly." - Benjamin Franklin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iain Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 I love this thread already. If you do go for the D.O. be sure to yell out proudly "dutch oven!" when deployed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kurthicks Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 just make sure that your first one is when you're cuddling after or . let 'er rip right on her and say "guess what"... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EWolfe Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 Beano Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whirlwind Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 just make sure u don't fart till after u get her number. i heard into the phone is sometimes aceptable though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sobo Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 I wait at least a month before I fart while she's giving me a rim-job. Â A buddy of mine told me that he was getting a blow-job by this Asian hottie at college years ago. He had chowed down on a bunch of onion rings earlier in the day, and he was "straining the mighty strain" to keep the farts in. Â She was going down on with so much gusto and doing such a great job, that he finally couldn't stand it any longer, and a huge gas cloud exploded out of his ass while she was polishing his knob. Â "Knocked her clear across the room!" he said. She yelled a bunch of shit at him in Thai, Korean, Japanese, or sump'in, and got dressed and stormed out, with him 9/10's finished. He never got her to come back again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doug Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 I have a friend (hard for most to believe that) who tells a story of when he and his now wife were first dating in high school. They were at the stage of the relationship when farting was beginning to be o.k.. They were at the drive up A&W getting something to eat. He lifts a cheek to let one squeak out and shits his pants. No lie. Had to sit in it while eating his BBQ beef sandwich and then comes up with a lame excuse to go by his house so he could change his shorts. This is the same guy that would call his wife from work to describe the dump he just took. Â Come to think of it, he also gave me my favorite euphanism for having to shit real bad; Crowning. Oh, but I digress. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jordop Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 (edited) . Edited June 8, 2021 by jordop Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scott_harpell Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 sick kats... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sobo Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 I have a friend (hard for most to believe that) who tells a story of when he and his now wife were first dating in high school. They were at the stage of the relationship when farting was beginning to be o.k.. They were at the drive up A&W getting something to eat. He lifts a cheek to let one squeak out and shits his pants. No lie. Had to sit in it while eating his BBQ beef sandwich and then comes up with a lame excuse to go by his house so he could change his shorts. This is the same guy that would call his wife from work to describe the dump he just took. Come to think of it, he also gave me my favorite euphanism for having to shit real bad; Crowning. Oh, but I digress.  Jeezus, Doug, that's funny!  And with respect to your digression... ever hear of brown-capping? Turtling? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snoboy Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 Farting? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thinker Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 It's always handy to be near dogs (hers or yours) when the first few are passed, that way she's never quite certain if it's you or them. She kinda gets eased into the routine that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catbirdseat Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 Well, I guess I'm doomed. I love all of the following cited in the article. Â "Vegetables such as cauliflower, broccoli, cabbage, brussels sprouts, onions, artichokes, and asparagus Beans Fruits such as apples, pears, and peaches Whole grains, such as whole wheat and bran " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sk Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 Well, I guess I'm doomed. I love all of the following cited in the article. "Vegetables such as cauliflower, broccoli, cabbage, brussels sprouts, onions, artichokes, and asparagus Beans Fruits such as apples, pears, and peaches Whole grains, such as whole wheat and bran " the more healthy you eat the more gas you have Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bug Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 Eat an elk sausage and report back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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