assmonkey

Walk of shame.

Bride shot.

I think when you see the level of corporate sponsorship for climbing that you see now for the, say, Tour de France, that's when you will see stringent rules for drug use in climbing. Of course, this is a pastime in which many consider wikked BC bud to be a "performance enhancer." (I prefer Gu myself.) There's a related thread somewhere about a recent alpine route named for the sponsor (a telecom firm?) but I can't find it right now. - a s s m * n k e y

UO has a climbing gym? Well, don't that beat fuck-all?!?!? - a s s m * n k e y

You may want to try The Crux, then. It may offend your trad leanings, but it is (like all gyms) a social environment and lends itself well to meeting new climbers, be they male or female. Plus, they have that killer juice bar there. I wish SG had one of those. Anyway, when I lived in Yoogene, there was indeed a social aspect to climbing at the columns. Maybe try hanging out for a bit longer than just your 10 laps, and you might meet some other climbers. The invariable rule of the columns: Hang out long enough and eventually single attractive girls will appear (Usually in pairs or triples, triples are the best. Hint: offer a ride on your top-rope that you've conveniently left hanging). The one thing I do remember about the red-haired Bill that I mentioned in my earlier post was that part of what I found so annoying about him is that his spray did seem to attract the chicas. They didn't hang around long, but they talked to him. And, as a last resort, surely some of your male climbing buddies are married? Well, get their wives to hook you up with some of those fine UO co-ed grad students! Nothing like being the "adventurous single climbing guy" shaggin' your buddy's wife's woman friends! Hell, you don't even have to stay in climbing shape for that! w00t! w00t! - a s s m * n k e y

Uh huh... EBAY

Folgers and boats. Ah, the memories that brings back for assmonkey. Not good ones, mind you. - a s s m * n k e y

Has anyone eaten any pussy lately? I would like to invite anyone to participate, this topic shouldn't just be "for men only." Thanks! - a s s m n k e y

Just yesterday, in another thread, I personally reported that I pooped, and it felt damn good. - a s s m o n k e y

That's fucking killer. If I were in that situation, I would hope to have half the balls and fortitude of that dude.

Your link doesn't work. Did your group already lose it's funding? - a s s m * n k e y

I just pooped. It felt good. - a s s m * n k e y

Am I thinking of the right guy? Bill used to have a giant mane of reddish hair and hang out at the columns, unbutton his shirt, puff up his chest and spray, spray, spray, spray. - a s s m n k e y

I saw a bumper sticker for Climbers 4 Kerry this morning. I think that's total bullshit. Keep your fucking politics out of my passions. Kerry is a douchebag, Bush is a douchebag, American politics sucks. I don't want to be affiliated with any political group by virtue of how I choose to spend my free time. I feel the same way about the Christian organization for the same reasons (although those religious bastards can be downright virulent with their spray; we have a black sheep minister in our family and we have to constantly tell him to shut his piehole at family gatherings.) I support climbing organizations, and their agendas (AF ), but this crap is just going too far. - a s s m n k e y

"Use your feet. Dumbass." -An ex-girlfriend.

Well, when you smoke tons of pot and bath in patchouli and listen to the Dead, and eat tofurky sandwiches and drink organic juice, it just makes sense. And anyway, all us tele guys are just slow farts. Don't worry about us, we can't keep up with you anyway. Go on, you can go ahead of us. Don't have to keep looking back, we'll be right behind you. Go on. - a s s m n k e y

What is that .mov format file? It just opens some candy ass looking application and crashes. Is that what it's supposed to do? Can you post in a grown up format like .wmv? Thanks! - a s s m * n k e y [Nice turns and vid btw, watched it on my wife's mac. She's female. And owns a Macintosh.]

We used to call those "dread loafs." Man, I can still vividly remember why I left Eugene. Well, besides the whole "graduation" thing. - a s s m * n k e y

I faxed in reservations early last week for a MRNP trip in July, and got the confirmation letter and needed summit passes last Saturday. No problemo. In fact, I was impressed with the speed and accuracy of the confirmation. - a s s m * n k e y

Hmm, seeing subsequent posts, maybe I misunderstood the original question. Recently there has been a faction of training that in interested in strengthening the "intrinsic" muscles in addition to the "primary" muscle groups. The intrinsics help the primary muscle groups function as a whole. I've heard this line of training referred to as "core training." The exercises (or 'play,' if you prefer) I posted are along those lines. Then, there is the more traditional reference to "core training," which is focusing on the primary groups of the abdomen (back, obliques, abs) and includes exercises such as doing situps on a big ass ball and leads to that slim 6-pack figure. Regardless, focusing on your core strength is key to getting to the next level in just about every sport there is. All your power originates from your belly button. Make it a strong one. Anywy, I'll let you guys hash it out. I'm going climbing. Goodbye computer screen. - a s s m * n k e y

A) Do as many situps as you can in 3 sets. Immediately fill your biggest pack with water and rocks. Hike up a steep trail. Look for downed trees and walk up and down them. B) Attempt front levers on your fingerboard. Chinup bar is probably better. At least try touching your ceiling with your toes. C) Find a track. Sprint for a lap. Do bodyweight lunges for a lap (or bodyweight tele jumps if you are a skier). Repeat until heart explodes. Carry two 5# weights for full effect. D) Run to nearest park and find a picnic table, preferably unoccupied. Run over the table. Run back over. Do it sideways (moving left to right, body transverse to table). Now back the other way (right to left). Sprint to next picnic table and repeat. Carry two 5# weights for full effect. E) Borrow your ski buddy's big dumb oafy dog that chases all the squirrel's. Tie big dumb oafy dog's leash to your belt. Go running with dog in park filled with squirrels. F) Have children. Wait 5 years. Attach child(ren) to upper torso (shoulders, back, in carryall, whatever). Run. (Kids love this one, especially if you are doing a fireman's carry.) Two 5# weights will cost you less then $10 at any jock outlet store. Children cost significantly more. - a s s m * n k e y

Apropos of recent local tragic events, from teletips.com: Seems like some enterprising folks could do well to offer insurance to cover SAR costs. Maybe this is already done here. I'm not familiar with the European model, but should something like that be put into place here? How much would you pay in advance to cover SAR costs? Is is fair to send the bill for your rescue to some maddog collections agency? Don't climbers on Rainier today fund SAR work through climbing fees? Is that enough? - a s s m * n k e y

NAME ONE FAT PERSON WHO IS?!?!?! THAT'S THE PROBLEM! RAMPANT OBESITY! Shakespeare: - a s s m * n k e y

Check this out: Rush Limbaugh is a fat, overrated fuckstick, with an agenda of his own. He is not an expert on anything except creating controversy in order to sell commercial time on his daily radio show and frankly I can't believe anyone would garner a political outlook based on anything guy has to say. Whoa, that's a trip! - a s s m n k e y

SCHLONG ALERT! SCHLONG ALERT! The pictures to be posted will probably contain images of naked hippy penises. Please, for your own safety, do not read anymore of this thread. Thank you. - a s s m * n k e y