assmonkey

I like the part where they take down the helicopters with slingshots. That was funny. - a s s m * n k e y

Damn, based on the title, I thought this thread was going to be a discussion about the merits of the "brazilian" vs. the "landing strip" and whatnot. - a s s m n k e y

Dude, you're diggin' deep on this one. Nice work. - a s s m n k e y

"Ok, who here financially raped the American public. Show of hands please." Note the spiffy cufflink. - a s s m * n k e y

GIVE IT BACK, GEORGE: THE LAY LOOT THAT BOUGHT WHITE HOUSE Bush and Republicans Should Give Up Ill-Gotten Gains by Greg Palast When the feds swoop down and cuff racketeers, they also load the vans with all the perp's ill-gotten gains: stacks of cash, BMWs, whatever. Their associates have to cough up the goodies too: lady friends must give up their diamond rocks. Under the racketeering law, RICO, even before a verdict, anything bought with the proceeds of the crime goes into the public treasury. But there seems to be special treatment afforded those who loaded up on the 'bennies' of Ken Lay's crimes. If the G-men don't know where the tainted loot is cached, try this address: 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Ask for George or Dick. Ken Lay and his Enron team are the Number One political career donors to George W. Bush. Mr. Lay and his Mrs., with no money to pay back bilked creditors, still managed to personally put up $100,000 for George's inaugural Ball plus $793,110 for personal donations to Republicans. Lay's Enron team dropped $4.2 million into the party that let Enron party. OK now, Mr. President, give it back - the millions stuffed in the pockets of the Republican campaign kitty stolen from his Enron retirees. And what else did Ken Lay buy with the money stolen from California electricity customers? Answer: the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission. Just before George Bush moved to Washington, Kenny-Boy handed his hand-picked president-to-be the name of the man Ken wanted as Chairman of the commission charged with investigating Enron's thievery. In a heartbeat, George Bush appointed Ken's boy, Pat Wood. Think about that: the criminal gets to pick the police chief. Well, George, give it back. Dump Wood and end the "de-criminalization" of electricity price-gouging that you and Cheney and Wood laughably call "de-regulation." Give us back the government Lay bought with crime cash. And while we're gathering up the ill-gotten loot, let's stop by Brother Jeb's. The Governor of Florida picked up a cool $2 million from a Houston fundraiser at the home of Enron's former president long AFTER the company went bankrupt. Enron, not incidentally, obtained half a billion of Florida state pension money -- which has now disappeared down the Enron rat-hole. And Mr. Vice-President, don't you also have something to give back? In secret meetings with Dick Cheney in the Veep's bunker prior to the inauguration and after, you let Ken and his cohorts secretly draft the nation's energy plan - taking a short break to eye oil field maps of Iraq. Let us remember that the President's sticky-fingered brothers Neil and Marvin were on Enron's payroll, hired to sell pipelines to the Saudis. The Saudis didn't bite, but maybe a captive Iraq would be more pliant. So, Mr. Law and Order President, please follow the law and give up the Energy Plan that Mr. Lay bought with other people's money. When I worked as a racketeering investigator for government, nothing was spared, including houses bought with purloined loot. Let there be no exception here. It's time to tape up the White House gate and hang the sign: "Crime Scene: Property to be Confiscated. Vacate Premises Immediately." *** Greg Palast is an internationally recognized expert on electricity deregulation and power company racketeering. Co-author of the United Nations guide to power industry regulation, Palast's investigation of Enron won Britain's prize for top business story of the year in 1998 (with Antony Barnett of the Observer). Palast investigated Enron's influence on the Bush Administration for BBC Television's newsnight and his expose of Ken Lay's manipulation of the California power markets and litigation won a 2004 Project Censored Award from California State University at Sonoma's Journalism School. Palast's book, the New York Times bestseller, "The Best Democracy Money Can Buy," includes a summary of his investigations on Enron: "California Reamin': the real story of deregulation and the power pirates." No link yet, forwarded to me, but I'm sure it's Palast. - a s s m n k e y

In my trailer park, Coulter is the Platonic ideal of beauty. She still has her teeth, too! - a s s m n k e y

Sweet! Handicapped stall rlz! I pooped about 20 minutes ago. The 2 coffees, + steak lunch (on the boss' tab) + dbl latte made for a nice smooth exit. Almost like butter! I feel great now! Plop! - a s s m n k e y

Pussy. - a s s m n k e y

I think it would be hard to climb with your eyes crossed. - a s s m * n k e y

If it was easy, it would be called snowboarding.

That's fucking classic. "Jiggle twins." That's better than "fun bags."

- a s s m * n k e y

Just some random facts I cut and pasted. Numbers in parens are ADA scores. "Each year, ADA's Legislative Committee selects 20 votes it considers the most important during that session. ADA's National Board and/or National Executive Committee approves those votes. Each member recieves 5 points if he/she voted with ADA, and does not receive 5 points if he/she voted against us or was absent. The total possible is 100." Kerry ADA Lifetime Rating: 92 http://www.adaction.org/Campaign2004/MeetTheCandidates/Kerry/kerry.html http://www.adaction.org/Campaign2004/VotingHistory/votinghistory.html Kennedy (90) and Kerry (92) MA. Leahy ADA lifetime rating: 93 Reps. Frank (99) and Markey (94). Mass. Reps. Baird (95). Inslee (100) and McDermott (89) all from WA. Sen. Wyden from Or (93) Sen. Murray from Wa (92) No Kerry on this "ADA Heros" list (Heros have score of 100): http://www.adaction.org/2003vrstats.htm In 2002, Kerry's rating is 85, while several Senators rate 100 (Kennedy, Mikulski, Sarbanes, Wellstone, Corzine, Reed) Moderate is defined as 40-60. Kerry is not a moderate by these definitions, but also not the most liberal Senator out there. Check your facts, kids. - a s s m n k e y

This is NOT TRUE. Please post data to back this up. The most liberal voters in congress--according to the most recent data I have seen--are Sen. Kennedy and Rep. Frank. - a s s m n k e y

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20040707/D83M69SO0.html Lay Indicted in Enron's Collapse Jul 7, 5:02 PM (ET) By KRISTEN HAYS HOUSTON (AP) - Former Enron Corp. chairman and CEO Kenneth Lay has been indicted on criminal charges related to the energy company's collapse as a web of accounting schemes unraveled, sources close to the case told The Associated Press on Wednesday. Lay, the company's founder, was expected to surrender to federal authorities Thursday, the sources said, speaking on condition of anonymity. Two sources said the indictment against Lay, 62, was expected to be unsealed upon or shortly after his surrender to the FBI. Prosecutors from the Justice Department's Enron Task Force presented an indictment to U.S. Magistrate Judge Mary Milloy in Houston on Wednesday. At their request, the judge sealed both the indictment and an arrest warrant. A hearing before Milloy was scheduled for late Thursday morning. Michael Ramsey, Lay's attorney, didn't immediately return a call for comment. Lay has consistently maintained his innocence. It was unclear specifically what charges Lay would face. But the sources said they probably would allege he participated in hiding Enron's dire financial condition from investors, analysts and the public in the weeks before the energy company crumbled into bankruptcy in December 2001. Prosecutors have aggressively pursued the one-time friend and contributor to President Bush who led Enron's rise to No. 7 in the Fortune 500 and resigned within weeks of its stunning failure. Barring last-minute delays, Lay is the 30th and highest-profile individual charged. Enron had more than 20,000 employees worldwide before the company imploded amid revelations of hidden debt, inflated profits and accounting tricks. The company's collapse led a series of corporate scandals that sent investors fleeing and sparked numerous investigations. Thousands of Enron's workers lost their jobs and stock fell from a high of $90 in August 2000 to just pennies. The charges against Lay come 2 1/2 years after the federal government launched its painstaking investigation. The indictment takes the task force to the top of the fallen company's former senior management. Former CEO Jeffrey Skilling and former top accountant Richard Causey are awaiting trial on charges of conspiracy, fraud and insider trading. Both pleaded innocent and are free on bond. And waiting to testify for the prosecution is former finance chief Andrew Fastow, who pleaded guilty to two conspiracy counts in January. Fastow admitted to engineering partnerships and financial schemes to hide Enron debt and inflate profits while pocketing millions for himself.

Guilty as charged. pp!

This sticker sucks. They should spend some money and hire a designer. Dumbasses.

I spent 4 days in Scholler WB400 this weekend. I washed the pile last night. It smelled like a pile of soiled diapers before I started the wash. Discuss. - a s s m n k e y -Edited post to include the word 'soiled.'

Armstrong takes yellow jersey - and big step toward record sixth Tour de France win - a s s m * n k e y

What is that, Swahili or some shit? Speak American, boy. - a s s m n k e y

More puke: My brother was taking his 8 year old nephew to the M's game last night, and on the way, the boy barfed all over himself and the backseat. New car too. And no, they didn't get to the game. - a s s m n k e y

I've heard of this place. Where exactly, is Canada? - a s s m n k e y

If I was 14 and she wanted to me, it would have been a public service! Damn. High school sure is different now. - a s s m n k e y

Three in one.