Dr_Flash_Amazing

This explains your assumption that sport climbers = wankers.

quote: Originally posted by climbmachine: "desperate for reliable climbing partners who can crank" what do you mean "crank". Seems like everyone here sits too much in front of the computer, sprays endless spray (you lawsluttress included) and would have mighty hard time on-sighting 5.11 (even a sport route) or doing a WI4 pitch... You being the obvious exception to this rule, of course ...

quote: Originally posted by climbmachine: So sexchocl. do not go there. You will endanger the whole negtiation process. And if this happens I WILL BE VERY ANGRY (and few others too). It's the greates climbing on west coast, but don't fuck it up for everyone else. As i said- I would be VERY ANGRY and you don't want to deal with me when I am angry. Hey flash, good joke. I hope it is. because if not you might change your name to FLUSH, when I shove your head down the toilet (after I take a shit)and pull the handle. Oh, no, tough guy, it's deadly serious. You know how the Access Fund loves sponsoring climbing trips to closed crags. Perhaps you need to spend a little time pulling the ol' handle yourself, eh? Let loose a little aggression? Talk to Trask for handy hints, but if he mentions KFC, run.

So, who wants to join Dr. Flash Amazing on a road trip to Horne Lake? It's sponsored by the Access Fund!

quote: Originally posted by Necronomicon: Fill a tub with warm water, get in, relax, and let some blood. You're stuck in the American Dream, and there's no getting out. -J Bah. Bloodletting is so 1800's, and is certainly not going to do shit for your tendonitis. Try 15 mg of Mobic, twice a day; you'll probably see much better results. Better yet, just stay away from the Bachar Ladder in the first place.

quote: Originally posted by Dru: is soloing "trad" or "sport"? Yes.

It was definitely in one of the mags a while back, but it may well have been in a Masters of Stone vid. Probably number 5, as that one had the Osman memorial/retrospective thing, if the Doctor recalls correctly. DFA hasn't seen it, though. Speaking of Osman in Masters of Stone videos, how about the speed free-soloing in #4? He fucking charges up a 400-some foot 5.7 in just over 4 minutes. Basically sprinting up the route, doing all-points-off dynos and shit. And then at the end after the credits roll, they show the footage of him missing a dyno and damn near taking the big plummet. You see that and sort of find yourself hitting rewind a few times and gaping til the drool puddle soaks through your shirt and jolts you back to reality. Sickness.

Yep. Suicidal Tendencies and Touch (?), .11d and .11c (or .11a? Have to consult the CGSR), both done ground-up. They're actually pretty good routes, although no one ever climbs them.

quote: Originally posted by trask: I figured you would be looking at my schlong. The "vapid expression" the Doctor noted was on your face, meathead. DFA can't say he noticed the one-eyed dangler. Shrunken, perhaps, along with the 'nads? The oddly lumpy package seems to lend credence to the story that your nickname is "tubesock."

Last time El General rolled through Smith Rock, the Doc ran into him catching a TR on Darkness at Noon, pretty much just chilling out and having a good time. Seems like just being at any given area for a day doesn't give you enough time to go after projects and shit.

quote: Originally posted by michael_layton: If you don't have any assets to be sued over, can you go to jail? Depends on what the fuckup is that brings the suit, and what they manage to stick you with, probably. This is where it would be worth your while to spend the dough and talk to a lawyer, unpleasant as that may be. Q. What do you call 400 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A. A good start.

Setting yourself up as a guide, even in a casual type of sense, i.e. not actually starting a business, is opening you up to getting sued to the moon. At the very least, spend a couple hundred bucks and talk to a lawyer who is experienced with business/liability stuff, and have them help you put together some kind of waiver. Without starting a business, your clients, should you maim them and should they decide to sue you, will be able to take everything you have without the proper protection. It's damn unfortunate, but litigiousness seems to be a popular behaviour in America of late. If you take the time and spend the money to be an actual business, like an LLC, you can operate without risking your personal money and property if someone sues. The Doctor recommends that you read up on this stuff thoroughly (there's also a good article in a fairly recent issue of Outside about how guides are getting taken to the cleaners by suit-happy clients, and how much insurance costs for them) before getting yourself into inescapably deep legal and financial shit.

The good Dr. Flash Amazing has pondered this a bit himself. The Doctor recalls seeing a black woman at the PRG fairly regularly for a while, but hasn't seen her lately. Otherwise, there was an ad in the mags a while back featuring a black person, but that's about it. It's kind of weird, really. So many people climbing, and they're all crackers or Asians. Actually, come to think of it, the Doctor hasn't seen many black people out boating or backpacking, either. Is it a social thing? Or is it economic? Both? Does outdoor recreation have its roots more in the aristocracy, or in the dirtbagocracy? Anyone? Anyone? Mr. T?

quote: Originally posted by erik: actully ow i dont get excited about the potential violence surrounding it... the one thing that gets me is the fact like trask said is the reppetive nature of the deal... and i really hate the innocence/ignorance about the whole thing.....criminals are not exclusivly a city issue, they are everywhere...so to get yourt panties in a bunch over it without taking action(which it seems lucky has been) is like screaming at the wall..... jurisdiction for that area...i believe is the states...wsp or wa park police....isnt there a park office right up there road??? why doesnt someone go down there and talk to them about it....??? posting signs and shit about the crimes is a good start....talk to the n bend police..i am sure this is a local person doing it...most criminals do not travel far for their deal(serial killers excluded) see if they have any similar repsonses to it...also speak to your credit card co's and dicuss the issue with their siu people....they feed off bullshit like this...they can track patterns and start an excellent work up, possibly involving federal officers.... they are many ways to go about it, it just needs to be done... and lucky i do not know if they went thru my car nor do i care....i always take my wallet with me (especially there, thanks for telling us a couple years ago!) when i go to crags i only bring what i need... This is a good point. Remember a couple years ago this shit was going on at the Red River Gorge. The pigs set up a steak out, with a barbecue and some nice tenderloin, couple of six packs ... wait, no, it was a stakeout. But anyway, they were chilling in their white van (not obvious at all) at the parking area, and they saw these suspicious characters who sure enough start swiping shit, and the cops watch the guys come over to their van, and slash the tires. Obviously you don't have to be too smart to break into cars. Needless to say, that was the end of that little crime spree. Apparently, though, the three fuckers involved had been perpetrating this for quite some time, at a few different areas.

Why don't you cats just chip in for a few twelve packs, and send Greg "tons o' guns" W. up there with some of his cannons; stake him out in the bushes in his fatigues and let him take care of the problem? tons o' guns everybody gettin' strapped tons o' guns betta watch the way ya act tons o' guns real easy to get tons o' guns bringin' nothin' but death

On second thought, maybe you should head south ... *salivate*

If you're looking to sport climb in winter and you don't go to Red Rox, you're fucking up. The Doctor has been making the post-Christmas Red Rox trip for the past ... hmmm, six years or so, and the weather is great down there. It has consistently been more blue skies than grey, rarely enough precipitation to shut down climbing (i.e. maybe only a few days out of those past several years), and often warm enough in the sun to be in just shorts and no shirt. Of course, in the shade or when the clouds hit, you will be back in your fleece pants and down jacket, nursing numb fingers, but that's the exception. The new campground is nice, and it's a mile from the main road so it's pretty quiet. Unfortunately, the road has got the most jarring speed-bumps ever created on it, and it's ten bucks a night, but it beats staying at the "glasslands" out by the highway. Buy the annual pass for the loop drive, clip some bolts, hit the boulders, and enjoy the hell out of yourself. You can thank Dr. Flash Amazing later (route beta and other spray available on request). [ 09-03-2002, 01:43 PM: Message edited by: Dr Flash Amazing ]

The Doctor had a friend a while back (those were the days ...) who had done some guiding, and this fellow was recounting stories of having to tie boot laces for people and make sure they were putting on sunscreen and lip balm and shit. Basically babysitting people who hadn't a clue about what they were doing up there.

quote: Originally posted by Cpt.Caveman: What about Shannon Falls - climb that sucker even if it a flowing mass of water Do you remember that little photo feature/blurb in one of the climbing mags a few years back of Dan Osman soloing some waterfall that was still flowing? He was in a full wetsuit with a hood, and he climbed it with ice tools. Fuckin' psychopath.

The Doctor doesn't know about rung width or spacing, but he does know that your health insurance better be current if you're going to be aping around on a Bachar Ladder. There's a reason no one trains on those things anymore, and that reason, my good friend, is tendonitis. The BL has a fearsome reputation for destroying more elbows than tennis. Best to stick to the hangboard; perhaps mounted in such a way as to enable you to do some leg-lifty-type stuff as well so you can build up the ever-useful core tension. Seriously, the ladder will wreck your shit and leave you at home with the kids and bags of ice on your elbows while you watch Rampage for the 156th time and wish you had never heard of John Bachar or ladders.

quote: Originally posted by sexual chocolate: How 'bout Graham? Has he had any luck with Realization? I heard he was over there trying it again.... It's funny how a V13 barely raises an eyebrow any more. I'd have to agree with Dwayner's Dwaynerness on this one. Who cares if Sharma added a friggin' V13 sit-start to an old problem in Yosemite, although I hardly think it was a news-flash to the degree which Dwayner presented it to be (thedeadpoint.com? com.on!). Sporties are so....Sensitive! And traddies are so....Dumb! And chocolate is sooooo....Sexy! Bah. Sharma took something difficult and made it ... difficulter. Kind of like choosing to climb any mountain that has a walk-up trade route by some sickening frozen-together overhanging choss buttress. It's all unnecessary contrivance, but then so is climbing in the first place, or any other sport or game for that matter. We all opt to play the climbing game, and by avoiding the "easier way up the back," we are all frolicking in contrivance. The Dominator is a classic Valley boulder problem, and for those who give two fucks about bouldering (the best pursuit of which has long been espoused to include the sit-start and topout by folks such as John Sherman, himself a fairly crusty tradvocate), adding a sit-start is pretty significant. The news flash on thedeadpoint.com should have also covered Sharma's recent new 20' highball, also estimated to clock in at V13 or so, and with a fairly ugly-looking landing, to boot. This might have given even the tunnel-visionaries out there a reason to respect bouldering. In any case, it's time for some wine. [ 09-03-2002, 11:03 AM: Message edited by: Dr Flash Amazing ]

They probably use Macs, too.

quote: Originally posted by Dru: or we could computer generate you like Jar Jar Binks But ... but ... Jar Jar Binks is real! He is real! Dammit! Real. Jar Jar Binks is a real guy ...

No, he's actually pretty easily understood and straightforward. Uptight egotistical anachronism with unchecked spray problem. You just weren't looking at the situation from the right perspective. Dr. Flash Amazing faces E/SE, which is a fine perspective for seeing things as they really are. Give it a shot, you'll see.

According to a recent CDC report ('Prevalent Infectious Disease Vectors in the Northern Hemisphere, Aug. 3, 2002'), the status of Trask's member is "7 Or More Known Infections; Contagiousness: Extremely High." Pretty much tells the story right there. http://www.cdc.gov/idvectors-nh-8302/wa/alerts/trask