Dr_Flash_Amazing

On second thought, maybe you should head south ... *salivate*

If you're looking to sport climb in winter and you don't go to Red Rox, you're fucking up. The Doctor has been making the post-Christmas Red Rox trip for the past ... hmmm, six years or so, and the weather is great down there. It has consistently been more blue skies than grey, rarely enough precipitation to shut down climbing (i.e. maybe only a few days out of those past several years), and often warm enough in the sun to be in just shorts and no shirt. Of course, in the shade or when the clouds hit, you will be back in your fleece pants and down jacket, nursing numb fingers, but that's the exception. The new campground is nice, and it's a mile from the main road so it's pretty quiet. Unfortunately, the road has got the most jarring speed-bumps ever created on it, and it's ten bucks a night, but it beats staying at the "glasslands" out by the highway. Buy the annual pass for the loop drive, clip some bolts, hit the boulders, and enjoy the hell out of yourself. You can thank Dr. Flash Amazing later (route beta and other spray available on request). [ 09-03-2002, 01:43 PM: Message edited by: Dr Flash Amazing ]

The Doctor had a friend a while back (those were the days ...) who had done some guiding, and this fellow was recounting stories of having to tie boot laces for people and make sure they were putting on sunscreen and lip balm and shit. Basically babysitting people who hadn't a clue about what they were doing up there.

quote: Originally posted by Cpt.Caveman: What about Shannon Falls - climb that sucker even if it a flowing mass of water Do you remember that little photo feature/blurb in one of the climbing mags a few years back of Dan Osman soloing some waterfall that was still flowing? He was in a full wetsuit with a hood, and he climbed it with ice tools. Fuckin' psychopath.

The Doctor doesn't know about rung width or spacing, but he does know that your health insurance better be current if you're going to be aping around on a Bachar Ladder. There's a reason no one trains on those things anymore, and that reason, my good friend, is tendonitis. The BL has a fearsome reputation for destroying more elbows than tennis. Best to stick to the hangboard; perhaps mounted in such a way as to enable you to do some leg-lifty-type stuff as well so you can build up the ever-useful core tension. Seriously, the ladder will wreck your shit and leave you at home with the kids and bags of ice on your elbows while you watch Rampage for the 156th time and wish you had never heard of John Bachar or ladders.

quote: Originally posted by sexual chocolate: How 'bout Graham? Has he had any luck with Realization? I heard he was over there trying it again.... It's funny how a V13 barely raises an eyebrow any more. I'd have to agree with Dwayner's Dwaynerness on this one. Who cares if Sharma added a friggin' V13 sit-start to an old problem in Yosemite, although I hardly think it was a news-flash to the degree which Dwayner presented it to be (thedeadpoint.com? com.on!). Sporties are so....Sensitive! And traddies are so....Dumb! And chocolate is sooooo....Sexy! Bah. Sharma took something difficult and made it ... difficulter. Kind of like choosing to climb any mountain that has a walk-up trade route by some sickening frozen-together overhanging choss buttress. It's all unnecessary contrivance, but then so is climbing in the first place, or any other sport or game for that matter. We all opt to play the climbing game, and by avoiding the "easier way up the back," we are all frolicking in contrivance. The Dominator is a classic Valley boulder problem, and for those who give two fucks about bouldering (the best pursuit of which has long been espoused to include the sit-start and topout by folks such as John Sherman, himself a fairly crusty tradvocate), adding a sit-start is pretty significant. The news flash on thedeadpoint.com should have also covered Sharma's recent new 20' highball, also estimated to clock in at V13 or so, and with a fairly ugly-looking landing, to boot. This might have given even the tunnel-visionaries out there a reason to respect bouldering. In any case, it's time for some wine. [ 09-03-2002, 11:03 AM: Message edited by: Dr Flash Amazing ]

They probably use Macs, too.

quote: Originally posted by Dru: or we could computer generate you like Jar Jar Binks But ... but ... Jar Jar Binks is real! He is real! Dammit! Real. Jar Jar Binks is a real guy ...

No, he's actually pretty easily understood and straightforward. Uptight egotistical anachronism with unchecked spray problem. You just weren't looking at the situation from the right perspective. Dr. Flash Amazing faces E/SE, which is a fine perspective for seeing things as they really are. Give it a shot, you'll see.

According to a recent CDC report ('Prevalent Infectious Disease Vectors in the Northern Hemisphere, Aug. 3, 2002'), the status of Trask's member is "7 Or More Known Infections; Contagiousness: Extremely High." Pretty much tells the story right there. http://www.cdc.gov/idvectors-nh-8302/wa/alerts/trask

http://www.reptilopedophilia.com ?

A randy cat lover, young Trask was he'd mount anything that meowed and had paws he gained some notoriety at the Humane Society seems he was caught sticking kittens down his draw's

quote: Originally posted by iain: This about sums it up: Is there an amorous and slightly intoxicated Trask lurking somewhere outside the frame? "Heeeere, kitty, kitty, kitty ..." [ 08-30-2002, 02:18 PM: Message edited by: Dr Flash Amazing ]

you start a thread on cc-dot-c about sport climbing.

You calling someone a pussy? Them's fightin' words where DFA comes from!

quote: Originally posted by Dru: The three vertical drains of mountain said the experiment reinforced the value of the harvest of the firm members of crew who can make decisions gut-gefolgerte under difficult circumstances. The Yew You.re on the mountain which you.re which goes up, the most significant decision is to you, can does not train only one Gauthier known as. That's what DFA was going to say, dammit. Although the Doctor is amazed at your ability to turn so eloquent a phrase as that.

Dwayneage ditch, you're a collossal wank, no two ways about it, bub.

quote: Originally posted by Cpt.Caveman: No more beta for you jack. Shit we gave you enough. Maybe you need to go buy the book. Oh, yes, you've been most helpful! But, you know, sport climbers thrive on beta! Come on, the Doctor will trade you move by move beta for Chain Reaction! Hmmm? Chaaaiiiiin Reeeaaaaction. Mmmmmm. Goooood sport climb. Yeeeessssss. Youuuuu would like to give DFA some moooorrrre beta nowwwwww. Pleeeaaaaase? Throw the Doctor a bone, here.

quote: Originally posted by Dru: Hey! Nobody said there were 300' of approach slabs to get to the real climbing! Or is that just talus slogging? Jeez. 3/4 of a mile from the road ... yeah, straight up. It's not a sport climb if you have to work that hard to get to it; come on, people!

From Bored at Work Productions in conjunction with Snafflehound Studios and Digital Horsecock Entertainment A Two Computer Geek Alpinists production Starring: - Cheech Marin as Dru - Charlton Heston as Greg W - Pauly Shore as Trask - Brad Pitt & Jennifer Aniston as JK & SK - Jack Lemmon as Dwayner - Walter Matthau as Pope - Harrison Ford as Off White - Sylvester Stallone as Capt. Caveman - Whoopi Goldberg as MtnGoat - Vin Diesel as Peter Puget - And Samuel L. Jackson in his bad-ass-motherfuckeringest role ever as Dr. Flash Amazing! [ 08-29-2002, 04:13 PM: Message edited by: Dr Flash Amazing ]

No, it just means that now a bunch of snowboarders paid way too much for outerwear, too. Rock:

DFA calls bullshit on that! Some photos taken from the other side of that problem (posted at www.hellawaysickassboulderism.com) reveal the fluffy little bastard is milking a choice wing scum on a large, flat jug. Cordless revoked his sponsorship after that one, and all the mags are like "psh, whatever, motherducker; you're damaged goods." So remember that while it looks impressive, it's not all it's quacked up to be. [ 08-29-2002, 02:52 PM: Message edited by: Dr Flash Amazing ]

quote: Originally posted by richard noggin: I'm supprised Trask hasn't jumped on that one What, the dog? Don't write off the possibility completely; he probably just doesn't wanna talk about it.

Yeah, but he was kicking down dough to the Access Fund; bringing in new members and whatnot. And he was doing great shit at Potrero (judging by the slides) that was pretty well in line with Access Fund-type crag improvements, i.e. trail building, etc.

"Note that I'm basing my comments purely on bouldering at PDX rock gym, where there are V1's I can't deal with and V3's I dispatched in a few tries. Ratings seem way less consistent than yds stuff. Whatever." The Doctor constantly hears people at the gym saying that they get walloped by problems at one grade, yet cruise problems rated harder. Something to keep in mind is that those problems might get bouldered on once before being rated (or in the case of some routesetters, not climbed at all; they just eyeball the holds and the moves and slap a rating on the tape), so it's good not to take the grades at face value. If it feels way harder than V1, then hey, it probably is!