Dr_Flash_Amazing

quote: Originally posted by Off White: Hey, I just heard on the radio today that the Scots wore women's lingerie under their kilts in WWI until kilts were prohibited on the battlefield. Something about tights and bloomers saturated in some chemical to minimize mustard gas exposure. Heh heh, you know, eh what, doctors orders, got to wear 'em, nudge nudge, wink wink, there's a lad. Ah, a fellow National Public Radio enthusiast! "Good Morning! I'm Bob Edwards; this is 'Morning Edition'!"

quote: Originally posted by MtnGoat: "Corporate rape of natural resources has gone on long enough. Writing letters to Congressmen or having peaceful demonstrations sometimes just doesn't get it done. The corporate rape continues." That's because someone, somewhere, keeps using what they claim shouldn't be used and people shouldn't want. That's part of the problem, yeah. But then there's the part wherein the company execs need to be able to afford gold toothbrushes and golf tees, and maybe it's cheaper to strip mine a mountain down to a molehill and skip out on cleaning up the toxic mine tailings, and hey, suddenly they're part of the problem, too! A little corporate accountability could go a long way.

quote: Originally posted by iain: Holy guacamole! Jimmy Page looks like the emperor from Return of the Jedi! Pasty freak.

"About that whole ELF thing. Read some Ed Abbey. I'm not a member nor ever will be. I consider myself a pretty much law abiding citizen. But I'm GLAD somebody is out there putting their ass on the line throwing a monkeywrench in the machinery of "progress." Corporate rape of natural resources has gone on long enough. Writing letters to Congressmen or having peaceful demonstrations sometimes just doesn't get it done. The corporate rape continues. Sometimes the George Haydukes of the world have to fight back in a way that actually accomplishes something." HAYDUKE! HAYDUKE! HAYDUKE! HAYDUKE! HAYDUKE!

Who is that twat?

Shit! It's bad enough that Vegas creeps like a mile closer to RR every year without having a friggin' subdivision out there. Whoever was arguing with DFA in support of mining; well, this is what you get with those scumbags. Sure, you can't see the damage from the gypsum mine, but how about their little subdivision? Screw those bastards, and better yet, stop them!

Likewise, Dr. Flash Amazing was just flipping you some of the time-honored and ever-popular shit. Right there with you on the beer, though. T minus 60 minutes to beer-30. .......................

quote: Originally posted by rbw1966: quote:Originally posted by Dr Flash Amazing: why the hell aren't you already a member? Because they don't do shit in Oregon. Wait til a crag you enjoy climbing at is at risk of being shut down. Or better yet, join the AF and help ensure that crags you like aren't at risk of being shut down. Plus, the AF does do shit in Oregon; providing resources for the Spring Thing at Smith comes to mind, as well as Adopt-a-Crag day. Not to mention that as climbers, the only group looking out for us is us. It doesn't help any of us out if we all say, "well, I'm not helping out state X because here in state Y everything is peachy." That kind of attitude isolates and weakens the climbing community, and limits our ability to function cohesively.

Take a Ritalin and a few deep breaths and try to relax, buster. All that stress and pent-up aggression can't be good for you.

Did you not listen to what the Doctor just said?! Pay attention, you hyperactive, inbred jizzbag!

Hey, folks. Come support the Access Fund and catch some slides 'n' spray with Mr. Kurt Smith. Good opportunity to join the AF if you're not already a member (why the hell aren't you already a member?), and a chance to win shtuff at the raffle, enjoy some photos, and help out the Fund. Info: http://www.accessfund.org/events/events_events.html

quote: Originally posted by trask: Nope, the next pilgrim that starts that tired old thread topic again gets staked to the desert naked, body slathered with honey, and a big old bag of ants dumped on him. A snafflehound will also be tied to his nutsack. Just 'cause you insist on existing with a snaff' tied to your jewels doesn't mean other folks want to! Keep your sick kinks to yourself, freako. [ 08-28-2002, 03:50 PM: Message edited by: Dr Flash Amazing ]

Dr. Flash Amazing will trump all of you fools with a winter ascent of the remote and daunting 5 Gallon Buckets face of the awe-inspiring Morning Glory Wall of Smith Rock. Located deep in the wilderness of central Oregon, the intimidating and rarely attempted 5-GB Wall has never seen a winter ascent, and has seen few ascents in other seasons as well, due to the hellishly arduous approach and complete lack of solid protection options. Keep your eyes on the covers of the AAJ, Rock & Ice, Climbing, V-Bouldering, Outside, and Martha Stewart Living (don't ask) for a glimpse of the inimitable and handsome Dr. Flash Amazing, knee-deep in hardcore alpine adventurism. Autographs available for a nominal fee, visit www.amazingco-inc.com/dr_flash_amazing/sick-ass-winter-alpine-send-o-rama-2002/promo/merchandise/spend/autographs for more information!

What about strip-mining, and that shit where they level mountains (well, hills probably) to get at whatever they're getting at? How responsible is that? The Doctor doubts anyone would consider that a responsible way of gathering minerals.

Didn't he say he would be polishing it all weekend?

The previous point being that the obscenely wealthy bastards who are the big political pay 'n' players will basically sacrifice anything to make that buck, and frequently slide by regulations (or pay off some representatives and make up their own regs -- or lack thereof) meant to keep them in check. There are companies out there who put responsible use of natural resources ahead of profit, so it's not like it can't be done. Consumers can try to influence them by bugging the company to change or shopping elsewhere if possible, but it's still sick that the big dollar fat cats can make so much dough but still need to make irresponsible use of resources to make more cash.

Other handy spray-enhancers: - broadband internet for maximum postage - no boss in the office - no deadlines - no work whatsoever

Typical wishy-washy middle-of-the-road bleeding heart liberal pansy anti-jobs head-up-the-ass environmentalist trust-fund up-tight left-wing democrat black helicopter conspiracy un-American terrorist-sympathizing pinko traitor sellout sport-climbing bolt-clipping rap-bolting half-a-trad not hardcore unalpine snaffle-sucking fancy-beer-drinking Subaru driving yuppie idealist attitude. (posted on behalf of Trask, Greg W, Pope, Dwayno, et. al.)

If this was Hell (and it's not far off ...), you'd surely deserve the title of Spraytan.

Yeah, the ELF cuttin' down them farmed trees did seem like a bad move, given their potential end use. Although the Doctor isn't necessarily against some of their other tactics, i.e. destruction of property. As long as lives are not harmed or endangered, certain things could stand to be smashed, trashed, burned, etc. Stick it to the bastards in the pocketbook. And this shit about them being considered a terrorist organization? Give the Doctor a fucking break. The Unabomber was a terrorist; he killed people. But destroying property is not terrorism. In DFA's opinion, labeling even radical groups like the ELF as terrorists cheapens the fuck out of the damage that real terrorists do. Does ANYONE think firebombing log trucks and burning down McMansions comes even remotely close to leveling the WTC and slaughtering thousands? Obviously the FBI and whoever pulls their strings is twisting the situation around to go after people for costing companies money. And sure, what they are doing is illegal, and if the cops come looking for them, fine. But branding them as terrorists and potentially locking these people up for life (or as traitors to America) is sick.

Don't misinterpret sport-climber utterances (an easy thing to do). Screaming, wailing, grunting, and hollering are all variously translated as "this route's swell," "what an intriguing sequence," "my goodness, what a long deadpoint to such a jingus sloping edge," and "fuck, this shit's hard!"

Speaking of which, Smith Rock hero/villain (depending on which side of the fence you stand) Ryan Lawson is looking for someone to take over the SR-BRO (Smith Rock Bolt Replacement Organization, basically the Smith Rock arm of the ASCA, more or less) and spear-head bolt replacement efforts, as he no longer lives nearby. He's offering to give (GIVE!) his Hilti w/2 battery packs to a qualified and motivated bolt-replacer if they take the position on. Food for thought for those of you who fancy doing some goodness at the Park ...

"I can see corporate America doesn't do any good for you, running that PC supported by literally hundreds of nasty corporate engineers like myself who designed and tested it, who use parts from hundreds or thousands of other evil corporate drones. Using the internet run by still more corporations and using fiberoptic and microwave backbones developed by other nasty corporations, network switches and servers developed by still more selfish capitalists, and running from the power derived by still other hundreds of other corporations for generation, instrumentation, troubleshooting, and all the infrastructure used there. Yup, what's good for corporate America has never done a damned thing for anyone else. They make their money in a trade vacuum by offering nothing anybody wants or values, when you pay for something you get nothing you want." It's not that all aspects of capitalism are bad, and of course corporations serve a purpose. The issue for the Doctor (and a few others like him), is gross corporate influence in the political arena. Huge corporations frequently flout the laws they are supposed to follow, and skip out on taxes they are supposed to pay. This results in government operating more in corporate interest than in the interest of most people (i.e. those people who are not in upper management at megacorporations, but those who get fucked when these corporations go belly up, their stock tanks, and the executives give themselves multi-million dollar bonuses). It's obvious that the corporate infrastructure of the nation serves a lot of needs, but the way in which it operates is frequently detrimental to people and the nation as a whole.

Caveness and Dru - thanks mucho mucho! It's not that the Doctor doesn't enjoy wilderness, placing gear, or multi-pitching, it's just that he prefers tendon-trashing sport gymnastics with plenty of bolts most of the time. But that there looks too damn good. And at 5.6, actually doable, as DFA's trad limit is so far about 5.9. And there's a SPORT route up there, too?! Yowza! Just need to figure out where the hell Canmore is (Alberta, no? Up in, uh, what is it; Canada or something?), and get BG to dust off his trad rack and hit the road. PS to Dru - Tricams are some of DFA's favorite trad pieces. Pants-filling is not being able to get one in. Which is a frequent problem when it takes you six tries to find the right sized piece... To Canmore!

quote: Originally posted by mattp: Dr: but check - counter-check. They have infiltrated the government and managed to dilute the labeling standards so "organic" now includes a whole host of substances ("derivatives" and "inert" ingredients) that I do not think you would recognize as organic. Drat! Foiled again! Counter-check leads to counter-reasoning, which leads to a call for counter-action! ELF! Dr. Flash Amazing commands you to burn the bastards to the ground!* The cereal! The cereal! The cereal is on fire! Burn, mothercereal, burn! * Note to FBI, A.G. Ashcroft, snitches, et. al.: Dr. Flash Amazing does not and has never actually commanded the ELF in any way, nor is he privy to any information regarding the actions, whereabouts, or other particulars thereof.