Dr_Flash_Amazing

quote: Originally posted by Cpt.Caveman: I am a major gumby DFA. My guess is that some loos rock and steep ice climbing would make you one too. Don't get too high on your horse. I'm the idiot that can't crank 5.9 and 5.10 at the crags. The fuck are you talking about, Holmes? The Doctor's contemplations had precisely jack shit to do with who climbs how hard. Sorry you got the impression that it was some type of chest-beating spray-a-thon, but it ain't.

The Doctor didn't know there was famous folk here on the cc.c MB. DFA read your article in the new ish of Climbing last night. Although Dr. Flash Amazing hasn't set foot in snow or on a mountain for a few years, it was thought-provoking material nonetheless. Tied in nicely with the editorial, too, which, being about sport climbing, was a bit easier to relate to. Nonetheless, it addressed the important issue of reconciling enjoyment and impact. It's an unfortunate conundrum, really. Sit on the couch all day with Oprah, and you're a lazy chub, but your impact on the wilder parts of the world is about nil (minus consumption of resources, of course). Get out, be active, and enjoy some nature, though, and we ensure that the outdoors get as crowded as the malls and streets we're getting away from. It's ironic how much most outdoor-sportists deride the lazy hordes that make up the bulk of America's population, and how often we suggest that they get off their asses and go do something outside, but now that Joe Sixpack has actually started doing just that, we're forced to suffer plagues of gumbies bumbling about our formerly exclusive playgrounds. Does the benefit of bringing more people into the hills and hopefully subsequently raising their awareness about the need to preserve the great outdoors outweigh the crowds and their attendant impacts? At what point will we have to stop enjoying the outdoors in order to preserve an outdoor environment worth enjoying? Something to think about while stuck in the climbing gym, or on the stair-o-matic, or behind another snarling pack of gumbuses on the approach to the crags. [ 09-12-2002, 10:49 AM: Message edited by: Dr Flash Amazing ]

Yes, trask, that is so true. It's good to have a blazing beacon of wholesome morality such as yourself here to keep things from lapsing into the sophomorically perverse. Dr. Flash Amazing commends your sterling efforts at keeping cc.com safe from the nefarious prurience of the outside world, and presents to you this award:

quote: Originally posted by Winter: FW - Mostly I was just spouting off again as usual. I admit I'm full of garbage. But this trash talker seems to think that if your biggest concerns over personal liberty involve seat belts and radio, then you've got it pretty good right now. That makes you pretty damn fortunate in relation to immigrants, blacks, hispanics, arabs, tree-sitters, gays, homeless, crack babies, and sport climbers (sorry DFA). Equal rights for bolt clippers!! Go with the Flow, FW. It ain't noble, but it is easy. Doctor Flash Amazing does not want your stinky-like-polypropylene-after-three-weeks-in-the-backcountry alpine apology! Dr. Flash Amazing is PROUD of his sport climbing heritage, and is PROUD to be a sport climber today! PROUD! Viva escalando desportivo!

Dammit! Always with the double posts these days! [ 09-12-2002, 09:49 AM: Message edited by: Dr Flash Amazing ]

Well, thank you very much, Mr. Mean-ass.

Dr. Flash Amazing would like to echo C. Caveman's sentiments on the matter.

Q. How do you catch a polar bear? A. Dig a large hole in the ice, and place a bunch of peas around the hole. When the bear stops for a pea, kick him in the ice hole! Come on, now; you love it.

You're right, motherfucker, you're not mean at all! So sorry!

Alright, alright; a quick trip to Google reveals that there's no such thing as tachyon beams unless you're a Trekkie geek. DFA retracts any remarks regarging tachyon beams, and requests that said remarks be stricken from the record.

DFA's no sci-fi geek, you dirty maple-leafer. He was under the impression that there was such a thing as tachyon beams and that they were real fast and shit. You're almost as mean as Trask, pal.

quote: Originally posted by rbw1966: Ooohh. . .look at me! Page top! This calls for a picture of trasks girlfriend soloing:

quote: Originally posted by Greg W: quote:Originally posted by trask: DFA = Biatch Trask - Master of the Bleeding Obvious Greg W - Master of Trask's Balls

Stick it up your poop-chute, trask!

Jeez, there's chalk all over EVERYTHING on that route! Is that in France somewhere or what?

Trask, shouldn't you be finishing up your shift as Junior Inseminator at the goat farm? Fuckin' wanker.

Looks cold, slabby, and horribly runout. DFA will stick to lurking at Smith, basking on rocks like a lizard and eating bread and cheese. Oh, and page top, bitches! [ 09-11-2002, 03:18 PM: Message edited by: Dr Flash Amazing ]

If it makes you feel any better, the Doctor was posting it for the scenery, not the goob in the middle of the frame (it's from Smith Rock dot-com, listed as a picture of the Churning Buttress; no mention of climbing or the climber). And, of course, most people spend a lot of time hanging on Churning, so it was a logical conclusion that the guy is dogging.

Aww, nuts! The Doctor has been training all summer for this, and he gets outdone by toilets.

Whatchootalkin'about, Willis?

They're probably just hangdogging.

Dr. Flash Amazing smells sarcasm! Or is it something he ate? Really, though, where are the bolted crack pitches at Smith (aside from a couple of Ryan Lawson's routes)? On the whole, there aren't that many, thinks DFA.

"Isn't that a picture of a crack climb? Is it Karate Crack? Does it have small pockets and glue-in bolts?" Where's the "putting face in hands and shaking head" emoticon? That, friend, is none other than the infamous Churning Buttress, home of sport climbs with small pockets, and, yes, glue-in bolts. Karate crack is about 200 yards west. [ 09-11-2002, 02:37 PM: Message edited by: Dr Flash Amazing ]

This is the thanks DFA gets for curing your case of the clap? Ingrate.