Dr_Flash_Amazing

So, Caveman, how does it feel to be outsmarted, outclimbed, outwomened, and outlived by a chubby twelve year old with glasses? That's gotta put a fat dent in the ol' Man Ego! Ouch!

Tampax fan? What? Hell are you talking about?

He does have that vaguely lobotomized look about him.

Is it the constant fondling of the suggestively elongated ball, or the hordes of men in funny outfits and tight pants chasing each other around and pouncing on one another that gets you going?

Discarded rap slings, v-thread cord, and fixed gear? "It's all good!" Tromping through the fragile alpine environment in gigantic boots? "It's all good!" Introducing human food to the wildlife? "It's all good!" Piss, shit, and dead climbers on/in the glaciers and into the formerly pristine water supply? "It's all good!" No, some of us do not believe that just because you risk death doing it that it is "all good."

DFA picked "only sport routes", even though he has climbed the occasional trad line. Just not enough to justify claiming to climb all styles. Word.

Ray, if it makes you feel any better (oh, wait, you don't care, but whatever), the Doctor's thread with the poll about your autosig also got deleted, after he posted the "Follow Your Leader" graphic, which implied that you were a Nazi and should kill yourself. This was obviously grossly insensitive and crude enough to get yanked. So, maybe if we just stick to treating each other like yesterday's dog shit instead of threatening or suggesting that each of us die, we can keep Itchy-and-Scratchying with impunity. Just a thought.

Still trying to battle through that penis envy, eh, Will? Tell you what, champ; why don't you quit cowering in the southeast so you can come home to the PNW and get bitch-slapped into belay slavery for Dr. Flash Amazing, which you really know you want, deep down. You'll cheer every time DFA tags the anchors on another proj', and you'll be overjoyed when the Doctor lets you lick his discarded Clif Bar wrappers. You can write home to mom every day and tell her how exciting it was when DFA ticked Blah Blah Hardroute, and then he let you carry his pack on the way out of the park. 'Cause honestly, holmes, the way you come creeping around, crying 'cause your buddy Ray got the shutdown for being el culo grande, it pretty much screams "insecurity," and a bed-wetting sycophant such as yourself needs nothing so much as the shadow of an infinitely more strong, sophisticated, and intelligent person to lurk in. There, in Dr. Flash Amazing's shadow (at least ten steps behind, naturally) you'd take comfort in having your place near someone useful and important, and maybe then you could start working through your leftover angst from the time the cool kids wouldn't let you play tag with them in the third grade. Ciao, Dr. Flash "Your Daddy" Amazing

Hmm ... perhaps you should cry about it!

Ray, your spelling and syntax are atrocious, and your morbid fantasies involving Dr. Flash Amazing are enough, as they say, to make a tomato blush. Shame, you dog!

Does anyone else smell chocolate? And something sexual?

"sleep with one eye open gripping your pillow tight exit light enter night take my hand we're off to never-never land" Do you think Metallica started to sell out with the "black album", or would you say that they didn't slide until subsequent releases? Because honestly, DFA thought they were slippin' when 'Enter Sandman' hit the Top 40 and cheerleaders were singing it at school. Metal up your ass!

Just playing a little of the old "left-wing/right-wing" gig. You know, for old times' sake, and for lack of anything else to do. Happy Friday, friend!

Go piss in your ear, toolshed.

Well, that was not a bad retort, Ray. While you avoided the usual death threats, which have become a bit cliched, you maybe tried to address too many points at once, with the overall result being somewhat scattered and lacking in focus. If not for the scattershot approach and its resulting lack of coherence, you would have landed a solid B-, however, DFA is going to have to knock you down to a C. Sorry, buddy! A little more care in the final editing process next time and you'll be right back on track!

You'd certainly know, wouldn't you, Trash?

Wa ha ha ha ha ha! Oh, shit, that's priceless!

Wow, such an incisive view of the Doctor's logic! Thanks for the analysis, buddy!

Looks like someone needs to re-read their 'What is Sarcasm, and How Do I Spot It?' handbook!

Well, it's hard to argue with such a well-presented case of solid facts as that. Strong work, you debating champion, you!

While it's kind of shady that you're paying the actual company you'll be working for to get the training you need to work for them, is it really that different than paying for your education in order to learn more so that you can be better qualified for a job? Same basic concept.

Is that the new Krypto Lock-a-Vest?

The lack of La Sportiva goods via barrabes is the biggest suckass event in recent memory. "Free" market, indeed.

Consumer Reports gives it a rating of "Not So Good" in the corners.

Oh, no worries; DFA tries to avoid crags with a high moss-to-rock ratio. It just looks kinda like an undeveloped section at the Greensprings crag down by Ashland.