ivan

That's what happens when you get an entire population self-inducing hallucenations about their god-given right to infinite prosperity. rimshot!

Trip: BaconRawk - Shelter from the Storm Date: 11/22/2009 Trip Report: why can't i put my tr in the shiny new bacon forum? fucking hurricane on the way in this morning - 14 covered in greenery - sitting in the p-lot, geoff wondered aloud if his truck would get flipped by the breeze rawking the rig once we moved our ballast out it wuz rainy, so we sought shelter from the storm snugged under the n side - occasionally the wind would rev up to jet-engine speed, whoosh down and scour the face [video:youtube] i've done that rout ea bunch, so figure geoff should have his shot at it first - he was so kind as to let me place the first piece [video:youtube] big changes at the big b - new concrete wor on the trail, even ew plantings

it's a love affair mainly jesus and my car [video:youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fm4X9yElG9Y

i am (a) god my powers are total shit though

[video:youtube] my favor-ite episode! the cage, i think? kirk builds a rudimentary shotgun out of his giant american kock! and spock, seriously brother, you know you could bend that doc bitch beverly crusher over and teach her to love!

shit dude, and your pin rack already put mine to shame! for joe then

ha! it'll be hanging out w/ 1970's mountain-dew cans n' cigaratte butts till armagedon now

the first floor of the doernbacher children's hospital has several excellent, 20 foot high chimneny problems on pleasing faux-rock

noticed the same thing - appears ya gotta be a confirmed local 'fore you can hone in on the secrets of the dread beacon mord-wand!

if god does exist i'm pretty sure he's an asshole

and, w/ all them ice-axes floating 'round your low ceiling basement, might i advise some historically justifiable caution? )

you n' trotsky

4 years ago in haditha a smaller version of the vietnam debacle perhaps, but just like it, not a soul to take the blame ain't war great when you've got the bigger guns?

Uh-huh Teaching evolution for instance. word. the "proper view of religion" is always the argument. the agnostic admonition is a bit silly - kinda like saying, when in doubt, take a nap. actually that's not such a bad way to make it through this stupid life w/o being pissed off the whole time read this month's national geographic - really interesting article on the hazda (sp?), 1 of the world's only remaining hunter-gather communities - contrary to what i'd always assumed about HG types, they have zero religious views - zip - nada - christian missionaries gave up on them cause they simply don't give a fuck - they don't even have basic animistic concepts - might explain why, in the post-charmin age, they still haven't learned how to wipe their asses

i'm a stain! [video:youtube] a prime place to pimp [video:youtube]

if yer partner's gonna be a while and ya got no belay seat though, the first anchor is at least comfortable - the key to avoiding the worst drag seems to be in not clipping any of the ancient bolts on the last traverse and through the final roof below the anchor

LOL. You've got it all figured out allright - so much you have to resort to hallucinogenic drugs (your crutch) to make your pathetic life livable for you. That and playing god at your little climbing crag. i would not recommend anyone do acid w/ you, Mr Major Downer

Actually, I think god is a childish crutch for those afraid of the dark. Says the guy who uses LSD tense? lsd usually made me afraid of the light, btw

"the author, faithfully attempting to follow your keen advise to get his head out of his ass"

kenny led it, and yes, it goes easy clean now (though there's a shitty reach between 2 bolts at the start of the traverse) - or are you missing hte fact that we only climbed bubbas and bailed when i chopped the rope?

no clue - beaconben says he's done that jug a buncha time w/o incident - i checked the edge and bowsed the ropes down tight overnight so they wouldn't flap around - it could just be that, weighing 240 lbs buck-naked-rawk'n-w/-ma-cock-out, that i'm just too fawking heavy - next time i'll just ducktape the holy hell out of it - there's really no edge though, and the initial abrasion on the kermantle was about 2 inches long

red-neck olympics, day 1 [video:youtube]

Trip: Smiffistani Rawks - PickMyNoseFirLunchWall Date: 11/14/2009 Trip Report: 3 weeks of woe and unwellness amongst the clan - time to climb firfuksakes at last - big ben was to come W/ for a soiree up the picnic lunch wall but he done used up all his kitchen passes - big hearted like he is, at least he let me borrow his sawed angles so me n' little cam kenny could have a wack at it torrential rain and sleet on the pdx escape creep - frosty skull hollow sans fire - but a great golden sunrise, calm and clear - promising portents the upper 3 pitches weren't really ready for my young padwan, so i thought he should have his way w/ bubbas b4 having to sit around watching my dumb ass all afternoon gotta luv the plw - if ya squint yer eyes it almost looks kinda valley-ish took some yelling at him in heathen tongues, but soon i bent ole'ken to the necessity of the shortfix and i joined him as he started towards the traverse of p2 cool pitch - nice and airy - the sun set on me at the belay almost immediately though and i alternated between chain-smoking, swigging boiling hot cider n' hollering every johnny cash song i could think up to stay warm kenny finishing up - he had a fun moment when the cord on his adjustable fifi parted, dumping him a couple feet below his aiders it was too late to keep going once kenny reached the promised land - no worries, i'd figured we could just fix the first 2 pitches and finish it up sunday - left all the bullshit up there and checked the edge to make certain i didn't repeat the near-death experience i had on the monkey earlier this year - it was a smooth edge and no angle, so hey, it's gotta be good - still, i figured i had 2 ropes, so threw them both down so i'd have an oh-shit line in case jesus-hated me on the jug another cold night, but plenty of shitty wine and smokes more than made up for that, plus a gut full of ramen and pizza-bread sunday morning dawned dismal - thick clouds, cold and windy - sitting in the p-lot, shit felt dodgy - ah well, let's get to it crazy cool jug this one is - 50 meters of jugging, starting 50 feet away from the wall, dangling like a dooly-bug the whole way - half way up i began to feel The Fear - gently rotating, bouncing up n' down with each stroke, and getting blown through several degrees of arc in the stiff breeze, i felt a strange twinging in rope - holy jesus i hope all is well up there - how the hell am i still cold when i'm working this hard? a few yards out from the anchor i saw it - holy shit, again?! godammit! it's not like there was any exposure or anything so, my confidence was pretty well fawked - i didn't need the fucked up rope of course, since we had another, but kenny was understably hesitant to repeat an excercise that came plenty close to greasing me - i felt like an asshole trying to drag him up there only to freeze too in the wind while i had my fun - fuck it - back to the bottom we spent awhile at the watchign catching our breaths so to speak, losing motivation - in the end i just decided to lead bubba meself again and head on back home to hang w/ the little people - kenny kleaned dude, can The Dude die? hey, at least it wasn't another fucking beacon report, eh?

i can't believe you never bought weed 'roudn there g-dawg she might like right gull out at beacon rock, it's chimesque in parts hey, how about the alpinejagger on crown point - scott got his wife up it the other day!