ivan

more like after a liter of wine - it helps if bob saget's narrating it too

only if i can bring the jesus to work his holy miracle too... this whole no-fluids through security thing musta been really hard on all the poor alcoholics flyign out there - who can afford to get drunk on a plane?

i hate snuff porn before dinner...

i'll never love another tyrant...

better get them rovers rolling on out of the impact zone

i'm waiting for the official onion confirmation.

wait, i said uncle chaz too, and invoked the "price is right" rule!

i like to paint wooden toy soldiers in the winter. i also like to tuck my twinkie between my legs and prance about like my aunt mildred whilst yodeling the ode to joy.

well, if you wanna ever free the money pitch of the monument route at smiff, he sure has the complete set of #2's you'd need naw, the cover story is nonsense - you told the red pt folks yet or no?

i see what you did there

wow. has there been a more recetn redpoint break-in? i recall one, but that had to have been a good long while ago now.

aLl YoUr WEdDeRs bElOnG tO u$!

not flipping you shit at all - i've only been up there twice and the second time i'd forgotten the first - it is, as you say, only a short scramble from the summit down to easy ground for the walk off, though i recall it still feels plenty serious enough that we didnt' do much more than a casual attempt at the downclimb before coming back up to do it safely. i seem to recall you end up at a spot where your 10 feet or more off the ground and goddammit, ya kinda just have to let isaac newton take over

yankees don't die, they just get real, real quiet

i gotz mine, where was you?

i don't recall - done it twice, one time w/ lucy in the sky w/ diamonds, once w/o - think the first time was on some hard sport-line when i had a rope-gun, the other on something easier, as fit the mood at the time, and to the left maybe - at any rate, both starts just a mouse-fart away from the delerium tremons boulders (which are pretty much worth the walk in themselves, and were the focus of the more intoxicated of those two trips ) anyhow, yah, quite contrived - and both times a big bottleneck of gapers round brogans spire coming up the cave route or some-such conspired us to heave it into the crapper birds on the rut, on the other hand, is sweeeet - and i recall both times doing the short cowards rap off as that's a looooong way to walk back to the parking lot w/ a busted ankle

i bet you find it very underwhelming, lord knows i did - fact, we bailed halfway along to go drink beer n' climb something else

Trip: Dawg Mtn - God Spine (Helser Direkkkt - 5.mossy, 3 Date: 3/2/2013 Trip Report: my centennial cascadian cluster-fuck! a froward febuary, spring forestalled and we all weather-fucked - a hip shot of a trip here and there, and what to show for it, for the record-books at least? a day-climb of the complete picnic lunch wall n' zebra-zion to boot, a shot at a day-climb of stone-soup cut short w/ my pinky-tip all shorn off, a jaunt to the jungle cliff.. couple weeks back kenny n' i thought to climb the dog spine, so set out, stoned as statute permits here in the blessed paradise of washington - sadly we were right too eager, and stomped up far too far west of the proper place - a strong wind that brain-sucked saturday, my mind pickled w/ purple burgundy and too feeble to advocate properly for wherever it was we shoulda been - us in the parking lot w/ me realizing i'd left crampons n' day pack behind, smokes too, and where the fuck my sanity - i blame myself, bastard i am. the first footfalls of getting fuck-all lost we kept wandering up, expecting to find funtacular free-climbing on moss at any point, but profoundly dismayed to never meet more than another calf-busting scree-slope long story short, at 2000 feet we burst upon the main hiking trail and so obviously we'd no recourse left but to drink to our dregs... a weekend later and i at the jungle cliff w/ beatard ben - grappling w/ gorillas or whatever appellation had been affixed to it i don't know - just stormy n' sultry that jew-sabbath i recall pitch 2 - a line of hero-bolts to big-sweating on a fixed bit of what-the-fuck, begging a high-step in both aiders to a desperate bit of pin-banging just to protect a bitter step down to free the daisy so as to dance a wee bit further up on a titacular ledge ben following, just before a birdbeak blew out another week later and wet i was to have another what-have-you w/ the dog - the powderhund n' his bro pat the new set of nefarious cluster-fucks to call comrades for this quixotic quest the proper parking place for the helkser start (and a fine place to file away a big old dookie under a decade of scree n' sand ) pretty typical mudd-fucking far below somewhere in this forest we must be... route-finding ain't so strait-forward for much of this free-for-all - hem n' haw n' head wherever the spirit moves you - here old bryan'n bored off to a hanging basin of scree and where we needed to be to bear up on the far end of the "dead deer traverse" (which we could identify by a bit of fixed webbing on a horn to protect the crux of the traverse) pat w/ time for a butt and a laugh - our passage trhough to the end of the dead deer traverse and the first bit of roped climbing just beyond his shoulder we kept thinking that thing was the dog rock spire itself, though in time it proved the drathmar the first bit of heads-up - an improbable passage at first - we came to it from the east, but the other way from the west was protected by a fixed sling n' ladder to facilitate cowards coming up from thither pin anchor from a preternatural era bryan got that pitch - the only one gear got placed on - a #3 and a #1 and 2 bolts above that short pitch ye drop the rope and hike up n' right to a deer trail this game trail brought us to a great big goddamn gully, which we struggled up to the saddle by the dog spire the dog spire looks game enough, but not us today in it's wet n' soggy state, us w/o proper shoes n' jesus-fuck, how to rap off it when all said n' done? the pitches above the spire invigorating - bring an axe! i got the next pitch - from a tree slung w/ hardware store cord you head up a creepy slope past 2 bolts to a anchor hard to see no worries, right? another pitch up of ghey-4th class and so you find a rocky gully - bear off left 'fore too long unless you want to tangle w/ a ridge-traverse we declined a bit above that and almost there above this we bailed onto the game trails east of the final summit block - we threw down in the cloud-murk to throw down some beers n' butts in the growing storm the exit a work in itself - up 100 feet and a traverse to 2100 feet in 30 minutes or so that brought us to the trail - we stumbled-fucked n' smoked our way down, all atonto! who can complain about a life like this? Gear Notes: all we needed was a #3 n' #1 and 4 draws as it's basically an old-skewl sport climb w/ a handful of pins and bolts to protect the skerry bits - the dog rock spire itself could use a #3 for the belay, but from there it looks like the only pro is 2 bolts - a decent mountain axe quite critical - anti-tick and poison oak apparel not a joke as we pulled a handful of those horrid fuckers off us (hopefully the oak was still dormant )

actually, on 2nd thought, 98% of the future advancement in this field no doubt will be made by the porn industry

china has also long held the notion, theoretical at best perhaps, but still there for any generation to seize upon, that the emperor, whatever form he chooses to take or title to claim, must obey the mandate of heaven - americans didn't give a shit about the dust bowl disaster until the super-duper-duper versions of the storm started raining soot upon the cities of the east - it sounds like china's eastern cities have recently begun to experience something not unlike this, and the party will be forced, at its own peril, to improve the situation, a solution which perhaps could extend as far as tibetan basecamps?

the pocket-pudding porn industry will certainly tank

the only guide i can get behind is sweet, sweet mary-jane

makes sense, i never did see a cold w/ a cold before

fools who take every word at face value are straight-up suckers for any satirist worth his salt - it's no suprise those who think dog literally shit out the world in 6 days can get so owned by the onion

haven't china (and russia, for that matter) alwasy been totalitarian states (albeit the modern ones taking advantage of ever more useful technologies towards that end)? i think you're agreeing w/ pat here anyway, ggk - "grass roots" solutions are the death-knell of autocrats, as you say since they detract from the party's death-lock on the body politic, and thus grassroot-approaches are to be encouraged, in cleaning up literal trash as much as the political kind.