Public Notice:

[lancegranite]

Attention:

As a free man of the great state of Washington I would like to take this moment to say that you are a bunch of clowns.

 

The absolute drivel that you, PDX hardmen, continually slather each other with is not only embarrassing to read quite unhealthy for the greater population of normal, well adjusted climbers who made the simple mistake of living in your area.

Think of the childern, think of somebody besides yourself for once.

 

Example: A very good friend of mine, a good person who moved to your area and put up a few new routes now hates you all so much he quit climbing and now spends his days fishing. What did you do to him? Damn you all to hell!

 

I find it hard to not want to build a trebuchet and hurl the lot of you into the cold dark waters of the Columbia river then bulldoze Beacon rock and build a wall out of it to keep you out of the great state of Washington.

I shout at the top of my lungs that you, yes you, deserve each other.

 

-Is it strange to you that you hear none of this limp discourse from residents of other areas?

-Do you wonder how the rest of us get along without tottering old coots deciding what is right for us?

-Why do you insist on endlessly waving your little flag hoping that somebody might stop and agree with you?

 

We think you are a bunch of clowns.

 

Think it over, argue the merits of your crags for another 26 pages and when you are ready, turn off the computer, go to the closet, put on your nicest clothes, go to a bar, talk to a real live woman, buy her some drinks, maybe a nice dinner, tell her her hair looks great, take her home... and get laid for once in your life.

 

 

 

 

[Alpinfox]

 

I don't know what this is about, but I like it.

[Pilchuck71]

Well said sir!

 

[kevbone]

 

Example: A very good friend of mine, a good person who moved to your area and put up a few new routes now hates you all so much he quit climbing and now spends his days fishing.

 

 

 

hahaha. That is not why he quit climbing.

[crimper]

dude, you have 1670 posts. were they all as pointless as your opening "salvo" or "volley" or whatever you wish it to be called? at least you could have written something funny and worthy of your subject. i can hardly muster this limp reply...

[kevbone]

I thought it was hilarious.

[letsroll]

:lmao: :lmao: Beaconers are a bunch of tards......not that don't know any of them or climb there

 

Beacon freeeeeeeeedooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmm

 

FYI Columbia Gorge is all oregon. We just loan part of it to WA to make them feel better about themselves.

Edited April 8, 2010 by letsroll

[ivan]

strange - compared to previous off-seasons, seems this one has seen the all-time least amount of bitching - wha'eva....

[JosephH]

Lance, it's a pretty straightforward plan; we just figure the more of you who are put off climbing for good the better - or at least that you stick to alpine and stay off rock. And if you really dug down and got honest with yourself for a moment you know you'd be happier and live more contented lives if you were backcountry skiing, unicycling, s[l]acklining, fly fishing, and geocaching instead of climbing. I mean for godsake don't you owe it to yourself and your family to become a better and more productive human being? And what better way to start then to stop climbing today.

 

It's not that we're selfish, or think you're steeped in self-indulgent whining or anything. Quite the contrary as we always have your best interest in mind and we certainly appreciate the feedback that our general approach is on plan and worked out so well for your friend. Oh, and please note that with some advance notice of another of your friends moving down here we could tailor a plan to better suit their individual needs and possibly even arrange a complimentary wine tasting tour as well.

[Checat]

dude, you have 1670 posts. were they all as pointless as your opening "salvo"

 

yes, all 1670 were pointless

[denalidave]

MMMMM bacon!

 

 

 

It isn't just for breakfast bras anymore.

[Sol]

i think it would be a major improvement to cc.com if all the beacon rock, ozone, farside bullshit dissapeared. what a fuchtarded climbing scene you guys have made for yourselves down there, you should start a "special" forum for it too.

[Pilchuck71]

i think it would be a major improvement to cc.com if all the beacon rock, ozone, farside bullshit dissapeared. what a fuchtarded climbing scene you guys have made for yourselves down there, you should start a "special" forum for it too.

 

Beaconclimbers.com ?

 

Is beacon actually part of the cascades anyway?

 

Ozoneyoudidn't.com

 

 

[billcoe]

Oh boy! Free trebuchet rides!!!! W00T!

 

 

 

Reference copy for posterity, Lancegranites post:

 

Attention:

As a free man of the great state of Washington I would like to take this moment to say that you are a bunch of clowns.

 

The absolute drivel that you, PDX hardmen, continually slather each other with is not only embarrassing to read quite unhealthy for the greater population of normal, well adjusted climbers who made the simple mistake of living in your area.

Think of the childern, think of somebody besides yourself for once.

 

Example: A very good friend of mine, a good person who moved to your area and put up a few new routes now hates you all so much he quit climbing and now spends his days fishing. What did you do to him? Damn you all to hell!

 

I find it hard to not want to build a trebuchet and hurl the lot of you into the cold dark waters of the Columbia river then bulldoze Beacon rock and build a wall out of it to keep you out of the great state of Washington.

I shout at the top of my lungs that you, yes you, deserve each other.

 

-Is it strange to you that you hear none of this limp discourse from residents of other areas?

-Do you wonder how the rest of us get along without tottering old coots deciding what is right for us?

-Why do you insist on endlessly waving your little flag hoping that somebody might stop and agree with you?

 

We think you are a bunch of clowns.

 

Think it over, argue the merits of your crags for another 26 pages and when you are ready, turn off the computer, go to the closet, put on your nicest clothes, go to a bar, talk to a real live woman, buy her some drinks, maybe a nice dinner, tell her her hair looks great, take her home... and get laid for once in your life.

 

 

[ivan]

i'm confused, when's the last time beacon even came up? the only static of late's been over the fa-side, which most of the current crop of beacon-ites rarely even visit...

[kevbone]

i think it would be a major improvement to cc.com if all the beacon rock, ozone, farside bullshit dissapeared. what a fuchtarded climbing scene you guys have made for yourselves down there, you should start a "special" forum for it too.

 

If you want to clean up cc.com (which happens to be a climbing site), try getting rid of all the political threads.

[justinp]

As a free man of the great state of Washington I would like to take this moment to say that you are a bunch of clowns.

I’ll bite cause I’m board this morning

 

Dude ur banter only perpetuates what u are bitching about and shows

1) U are actually kind of a funny guy

or

2)A racist against Beatards

and/or

3) A total tool

 

 

…compared to previous off-seasons…..wha'eva....

Wait when was the off season?

 

i think it would be a major improvement to cc.com if all the beacon rock, ozone, farside bullshit dissapeared. what a fuchtarded climbing scene you guys have made for yourselves down there, you should start a "special" forum for it too.

A fair amount of traffic on this site is generated from the Beatards you speak of. I for one do not feel compelled to spew to much garbage on this site (although I am doing it now), but would be sad to see any of the goofy fawkers on this site go away.

And dude it’s the internet.... come on who gives a fawk, no? I mean are u guys really losing sleep at night over this?

 

Oh and a big UP to all the Beatards without you’all who I met through this site I’d still be clipin bolts at Smiff.

 

[denalidave]

I heard Pink learned to climb in the Gorge. I also heard he climbed ElCap!

 

[Spore]

Lance Man

 

A very funny & true read.

 

[crimper]

i want this thread to go 26 pages so lance can prove his point.

we're off to a pretty shaky start here...

 

there have been studies showing that gossip - like these threads - have a positive social impact because they highlight bad behavior and demonstrate the negative consequences of that bad behavior. when you hear gossip, you instinctively draw lessons and modify your future behavior - unless you're on the fringes of society or a self-styled stubborn iconoclast or whatever.

 

anyway....climbing is one of the most selfish pursuits out there because it requires a relatively huge amount of time and resources. even sport climbing or bouldering takes a minimum of 3-4 hours away from your family for even the shortest session at the closest crag.

 

so as with most selfish endeavors, a lot of justification and investment is required. so when someone chops my bolts, it's more personal than if a certain trail got closed and i couldn't run or bike on it. plus, my bolts weren't chopped by the government, but by a fellow climber. that hits a different nerve.

 

so maybe the pdx gossip and drama has a useful purpose after all if it solves problems and helps modify local ethics, etc.

it's also good entertainment, lance, or you would never have spent the time to comment on the show we are putting on for you.

 

[KirkW]

Yeah so I don't think this is the first bolt controversy to happen in climbing? Someone can correct me if I'm wrong.

 

Without the beatards this site would be endless threads about different ways to tape your ice tools and hood TRs

 

The fact that a new generation of climbers wants to take different tactics to the cliff is no doubt going to piss off the old guard. Again...something new here?

 

Bolts are part of climbing as much as chopping bolts and bitching about bolts is part of climbing. Seems like it's always been this way and it is mostly certainly not going to change anytime soon. The internet provides everyone a place to slug it out without ending up with assault charges. As long as it doesn't grow into a brawl in the parking lot who the fuck cares?

 

Actually, who really cares if the beaconits get in the octagon with each other? Winner take all. I'd pay good money to watch kevbone and joseph take a run at each other. Well worth the drive to Ptown.If you're not inclined to watch that sort of thing then don't. It would be nice though if you guys could schedule that after beacon opens back up cause I haven't done YW yet and I'd sure like to cause I hear it's pretty stellar.

 

You could also choose to ignore the beacon forum and spend your time lubing your cam(s) or bouldering or something I suppose.

 

Fuck it. Get over it and go climbing. Do it in the best style you can and fer fucks sake...have some goddamn fun.

 

[crimper]

i guess this is me hijacking the thread BUT this little tempest ina teapot shouldn't be seen as the new guys versus the old guys. not true at all.

 

it's more like these guys (and their younger buddies too) have a vision for the crag that i am on board with about 95%. it's well suited to heady gear-only climbs that will appeal to non-sport climbers. but very few of those climbs exceed 5.10a/b.

 

although i'm definitely challenged by 10a/b trad lines, i also want to put up harder routes, and the blanker steeper harder chunks of the rock generally are on faces. but the faces aren't very tall, and usually have cracks both above and below them. so i've agonized over minimal bolts to protect just the face sections. it's true, these lines could be left as topropes, but it's pretty much a given that the experience and reward of leading a challenging climb are much greater than just doing the moves on a toprope.

 

and jim has talked about the crag being a training ground, and now seems to get that having a few (very few, given that the crag is almost tapped out) harder and heady mixed routes provides a lesson, too. so he and i found common ground there, and it's a success story that we went from chopping bolts to agreeing that compromise is possible. right now, and 10 years from now, people are gonna be psyched to have a handful of harder 5-10 and even 5-11 climbs to hop on in between easier gear only leads. but this crag will never be appealing to the masses, it will always be dirty and sketchy and ugly at first blush, and it will never have sport routes like ozone. (they've been quarantined in there)

 

PS - anyone who puts up routes and names them (the routes here all have names) is doing it for both the raw experience and the satisfaction of having their "own" route. putting up harder routes that challenge you is just a bonus.

[kevbone]

Thanks Russ. If it were not for your observation / spray on us PDXers we would have nothing to blog about. Being that the “chopped bolts” thread is dead now.

Once again thanks a bunch for the spray.

 

[LostCamKenny]

Example: A very good friend of mine, a good person who moved to your area and put up a few new routes now hates you all so much he quit climbing and now spends his days fishing. What did you do to him? Damn you all to hell!

he don't know me - bet he still hates me though.

[LostCamKenny]

get laid for once in your life.

you should definitely do this for yourself too, so it sounds. 8D