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Posted

do you take an ice tool to arrest in the turf?

 

 

Yard waste, heh heh. Of course we carry axes while rock climbing on occasion, but not at Beacon, it's clean as you can see: Joesph cleaned that one off already (right JH?):-) "Clean" ascents have multiple meanings I suppose. Here's Adam on a FA at a place the locals now call "The Arena of Pleasure" once Adam named it (I forget the route name, but he should have utilized "Yard Waste"). It was "clean" I guess (ground up onsight no falls no hangs).

resized_Left_Side_of_The_Arena_of_Pleasure_2.jpg

You see the axe on the right, but I think he's got a shovel clipped on the left as well. We call those "lead" shovels, and they get discussed much like any other piece of gear you rack up for a climb. They're about 1-1/2 foot long and have plastic handles to keep the weight down. We just put a sling on the handle and rack them with the cams and nuts, usually behind the cams but in front of the biners.

 

I've heard that the axes are carried as much to fend off the bananas slugs, which are rumored to be larger than many small dog breeds around here. I think that's just an exaggeration.

 

 

You Washington guys crack me up, in fact, ya all remind me of a bunch of Horny sailors who are lucky enough to live right inside of a whorehouse full of girls who happen to love sailors. As such, you are all hitting on it free all the time and just take it for granite granted that's the way the rest of the world operates. (opps, Freudian slip there)

 

So down here we're all living on a desert island (Beacon rock) which the powers that be make us move off of for over 5 months each year so that birds can fu*k there. See, we're legally forced to actually be out standing out ass deep in the water and we can't even touch that desert island for most of the year. Capish? (Italian slang for "Your alternative is death. Do you understand?")

 

We're just happy to hit on any ol' coconut husk that washes up on the beach. LOL! This Jim Morrison work should clarify it for ya all, (I love that Spirit in the Sky song you posted):

 

"Ill tell you about Oregon rock and the big beat

Soft driven, slow and mad Like some new language

Reaching your head with the cold, sudden fury of a divine messenger

Let me tell you about heartache and the loss of god

Wandering, wandering in hopeless night

Out here in the perimeter there are no stars...

Out here we is stoned...

Immaculate."

 

See? Passionate. We is out here in the perimeter, and if you guys were here instead of running around the whorehouse full of beauties anytime you want (north cascades/olympics/darrington/leavenworth OMG please don't make me go on this is painful), you'd be hitting on those coconut husks too:-)

 

Hmm, "Coconut Husks?" was that this route name? "Coconut Husks?" shit that sounds familiar....this one?....

resized_Gingerbread_Shortcut_Bill_on_lead.jpg

It may be "The Gingerbread Shortcut" but it could be "Vertical Mud" though......that may be it. "Vertical mud" sounds right anyway...hmmmm it was just last week too.

 

See how it is? We show up with a picture and get laughed at by our whorehouse living brothers to the north. We're sitting down here waiting for Beacon to open most of the time as the closure is fu*king us in the ass and just totally loving it when and one of you lucky sailors bitches posts a picture of some clean granite splitter that soars for 10 pitchs.

 

this sign actually identifies some of our better areas:

Doctor_Strangelove_Poster_Pinkie.gif

 

So if you come down here to climb, touch base with a local first so that you can have the right gear and not be like some of those idiots who show up with a large shovel on their rack trying to fit in and get laughed out of the county by everyone. (Skamania county to be exact).

 

:wave:

 

 

Posted

Bill 'The Badger' Coe is a route miner - he moves more earth in search of top climbs than any fifty V12 slackers you'd ever run across. And while most guys are just out dreamingly wandering around looking up in space, Bill is getting down to business digging out the gems.

 

Most guys walk up to a rock and check out the sit starts; but Bill, Bill walks up and just knows that six feet under there's a pumpy V5 start just waiting to be freed - literally. This sort of climbing takes vision, experience, and a good nose for when to disinter a classic - it's a lot like truffle hunting.

 

And Bill has shoulders of steel. Do you wanna talk about physical strength? Do you want to talk about sheer muscle? Do you want to talk about the Olympian ideal? He's is a God.

 

And listen to me, he is not evil. He... is... good!!! This is a nice man. This is a good man. This is a mother's angel. And I want the world to know once and for all, and without any shame, that we love him.

 

He's going to teach you. He's going to show you how to walk, how to speak, how to move, how to think like a climber. Together, He and you are going to make the greatest single contribution to climbing since the creation of der grigri!

 

[ P.S. What hump...? ]

Posted

LOL! Whuh Hump?

 

[video:youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOe_4mgmyyA

 

'is name was Abby....Abby someone...yes, Abby Normal! CLASSIC stuff JH!!!

_______________________________________________________________________

 

ps, Justin hit it between rain! Who'd have thunk it? Congrats dude.

_________________________________________________________________________

 

Thanks for sharing that Jim!

Posted
nice indeed justin 'since ya just started aiding a couple months ago, no?

 

do ground zero, takes fist or the dutchman next!

 

Few months now, that was my third solo if u count the columns... I was glad to miss that rain. It would have been a bit of a suffer fest!

Posted
Beacon rock forum? Where? He started a Bacon forum in spray.

 

Observation will reveal that there's now a Columbia Gorge forum. That'll help make it irrelevant that ya'll keep posting about a Washington crag in the Oregon forum.

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