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      WELCOME TO THE CASCADECLIMBERS.COM FORUMS   02/03/18

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Dru

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I don't know if this exactly counts, but getting to the top of the Third Flatiron in Boulder, one of my very first "climbs" (I don't know if it counts because my partner and I walked up, carrying the rope)I didn't exactly know how to rappel. I learned that day, though!

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most embarrasing climbing moment:

having anyone ask me on the rocks or ice, "do you post?"

 

2nd most emabarrasing:

me responding, "yes....uggghhh...what do you post as?"

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What is the most embarassing thing that has ever happened to you while climbing?

 

While hiking out from Mt Forbes in the Canadian Rockies, I developed wickedly chafed thighs from my wool knickers.....

 

Wool knickers, that's sufficient. I'm blushing for you already.

 

OK, I have a pair too. A vintage pair courtesy of my father-in-law.

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most embarrasing climbing moment:

having anyone ask me on the rocks or ice, "do you post?"

 

2nd most emabarrasing:

me responding, "yes....uggghhh...what do you post as?"

 

You know you love that shit. Face it - you are just pissed off because you registered under your real name and don't get to bask in the glory of revealing that you are, in fact, the man behind the "CLIMBATRON4000" or "CAMMINATOR" or "CRANKENSTEIN" handle....

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most embarrasing climbing moment:

having anyone ask me on the rocks or ice, "do you post?"

 

2nd most emabarrasing:

me responding, "yes....uggghhh...what do you post as?"

 

You know you love that shit. Face it - you are just pissed off because you registered under your real name and don't get to bask in the glory of revealing that you are, in fact, the man behind the "CLIMBATRON4000" or "CAMMINATOR" or "CRANKENSTEIN" handle....

 

...or Dr. Flash A-fucking-mazing, BITCH! rockband.gif

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and I agree with layton, the worst is random people you don't know ask if you are the idiot posting so much on this site

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The first rule of cascadeclimbers.com is don't fucking talk about cascadeclimbers.com!

 

Otherwise motherfuckers are walking up to you all the time and going, "hey, I'm a full-on gapetool extraordinaire, and you're Dr. Flash A-fucking-mazing, right?" Then fools are all trying to take you to court after you smash their head into a window for pulling that kind of shit in public, and on and on. DFA recommends using AmazingCo, Inc.'s Super Sub-stealth Personality Encryptor 5007.3 software whenever you're in the cc heezy, so punks won't be peeping your steez and calling you out at the crag. Word.

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I think its worse the other way around, when someone assumes they should be known:

 

"My name is Eric Mohler, but I post as "Pope" on cascadeclimbers.com, you've probably read my insightful postings of pictures of Liberace and sandwiches and agree with my strong ethical stand, don't you!"

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What is the most embarassing thing that has ever happened to you while climbing?

 

While hiking out from Mt Forbes in the Canadian Rockies, I developed wickedly chafed thighs from my wool knickers.....

 

Wool knickers, that's sufficient. I'm blushing for you already.

 

OK, I have a pair too. A vintage pair courtesy of my father-in-law.

 

yellaf.gif Wool knickers weren't nearly as embarassing in 1979, and at least I was alpine climbing. A few years before that a buddy insisted on wearing knickers while cragging with his Pivetta Red Spiders, rugby shirt, and little white Royal Robbins cap. You know, the kind he used to wear back in the day when he was a visionary climber rather than a clothing manufacturer.

438744-11995.jpg.51c21aa3e98b83c8911384f6a2960eab.jpg

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i heard third hand that ass stubble causes some MAJOR chafing when you hike.

 

The King of sprayers lets this one out and no one gets on him??

 

Third hand, I call bulshit. Some one who knew some one told me rolleyes.gif

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i heard third hand that ass stubble causes some MAJOR chafing when you hike.

 

The King of sprayers lets this one out and no one gets on him??

 

Third hand, I call bulshit. Some one who knew some one told me rolleyes.gif

 

Yea I believe it was Bunglehead who posted his "friends" story here a year or two ago and i was too lazy to look it up. That makes it 3rd hand or 2nd hand if the "friend" was really him... shaved moon.gif

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Oh fuck, I posted that? hellno3d.gif

Yeah that was me. But it wasn't ass stubble, it was a clean front lawn. Yikes. Itchy. cry.gif

GUYS, DON'T SHAVE YOUR PUBES NO MATTER HOW MUCH A WOMAN BEGS. blush.gif

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I thought you were referring to this little gem:

I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story so that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble shitting.

 

 

No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold.

 

 

I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. Such was my anal shaving idea.

 

 

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

 

 

Little did I know.

 

 

I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.

 

 

Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic shit- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky shit/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.

 

 

Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering shit/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own shit blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks."

 

 

Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.

 

 

As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

 

Friends, DON'T SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!

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blush.gif thats EXACTLY what I was thinking of, good searching skills there Harkiain

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