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"The Da Vinci Code" is fucking r*t*rd*d


layton

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The Da Vinci Code WAS lame. I was at my in-law's house in Colorado over Christmas and made the mistake of picking up a Tom Clancy book and reading it. It was about twin brothers --a marine officer and an FBI agent-- who are recruited by a super secret agency to assassinate terrorists. Tom Clancy --Now THERE'S a moron with a word-processor. It was like reading driving directions in Mapquest!

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Yeah, i don't even think Tom can be bothered with writing his books now. His "co-authors" do the work, he tweaks it, puts his name real big on the cover and laughs his ass off all the way to the bank.

He makes me want to puke w/ his egotistical "fantasy world" jacket cover pics of himself too. He's dressed up in flight gear and wearing a naval captain's scrambled eggs on his hat and the dumb fuck has never served a day in his life. tool.

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The last book I read was the Da Vinci Code.

It started out well but degraded as it went, much like garbage does when you don't take it out in a timely manner.

 

At first I found the premise and the biblical/religious references and suppositions intriguing. But then the story became predictable and seemed to be paced in 4/4 time. Everytime Langdon and Sofie got into a predicament I just knew Mr. Brown was going to come up with some ridiculous escape. Like TV (and the movies), it all hinged on the stupidity of the pursuers. Furthermore, I've never seen two characters cover so much terrain in one night. There were absolutely no respites or delays--just like TV shows that need to get on with the story lest they bore the audience.

 

The ending was lame, too. It wrapped up like a movie ripe for a sequel. And who among us who read it didn't have it figured out who the real villain was? Mr. Brown tried to supply red herring characters to throw me off, but it became quite obvious who The Teacher was. Just like in TV shows like CSI and Law & Order, there are a finite number of characters; therefore, with a little logic and recognition of plot cards played, you can figure out the real culprit.

 

On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd rate it a 4. smirk.gif

There's a reason why I'd rather stick to reading my backlog of classics and not this contemporary rubbish that gets churned out these days for the sake of entertainment $$$.

 

Edit: This just in: Tautou to play Sofie in movie version. A good choice, I guess. But Tom Hanks as Langdon? Come on! Also, looks like Ron Howard is directing.

 

Yesterday a scene from the upcoming movie "Expiration Date" was being filmed right by my apartment here on Queen Anne. Lots of activity and equipment just to film a milk truck coming up the hill at 25mph. What was more humorous was the Seattle recycling truck doing its rounds at the same time that kept delaying the "Action" call. Recycle guy must have been laughing his way down the street, stopping where he needed to. Garbage waits for no man...or film.

Edited by klenke
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One book that kinda fits in this intellectual pop category that I absolutely LOVE is Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. i could re read that thing over and over.

Have you ever read the review Edward Abbey gave ZAMM? Its pretty hella funny.

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If you want to read a good book, go read A Brief History of Just About Everything, by Bill Bryson. It is a whirlwind tour of the history of scientific discovery. He doesn't spend too much time on any one subject, always moving on. One thing I like is how he mentions all discoverers who were first but got cheated by history because they weren't good self-promoters.

 

For example, Louis Agassiz of Harvard usually gets credit for the theory of Ice Ages, but it was in fact two other men, Carpentier and Schimper who came up with the idea before him.

 

Also, I read how a poor janitor, James Croll, at the University of Strathclyde in Glasgow was the first to explain how cycles of the Earth's orbit could explain why ice ages ocurred.

 

This and other stories may have provided inspiration for the movie Goodwill Hunting.

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After reading 'A Short History of Nearly Everything' by Bryson, I mentioned to my 8th grade students the idea that to go back even 20 generations in a family involves over a million people who were parents of parents of parents, etc. 30 generations is over 1 billion. Going back to the time of the Romans gets you something like 1 quintillion individuals who are parental units. They kind of shrugged at this, being more cognitively concrete. Further explantion that 1 quintillion is more than all of the humans than ever existed, which means that if you look around the room, the person you are sitting next to will most likely be related to you in some distant way, got their attention in a big way. The "popular girls" looked at the greasy-haired, pimple-faced kid like he had just vomited on them.

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