fenderfour Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 "Excuses are like assholes: everyone has one, they all stink, and nobody wants to hear about yours." "I'm so happy I don't know whether I should shit or go blind, so I will close one eye and fart." Whatyougot? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg_W Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 "Busier than a cranberry merchant" - my blessed Grandmother said that to me twice last night. Who knew that cranberry mercantilism was so stressful? Not me, but I'll be using it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenderfour Posted March 11, 2004 Author Share Posted March 11, 2004 "he played drums like two jack rabbits fuckin" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scott_harpell Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 "What's the word!?" -"Thunderbird!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foraker Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 Said by a former colleague of mine from the south: "Well dip me in shit and roll me in peanuts!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg_W Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 "That's handier than a pocket on a shirt!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SmokeShow Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 He doesn't know shit from Shinola. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodchester Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 She's hotter than a half-fucked fox in a forest fire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scott_harpell Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 Buddy's dad: "I'd eat the peanuts outtta her shit to get close to her ass." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
burgersling Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catbirdseat Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 "It's the greatest thing since sliced bread." "We went the whole nine yards." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunglehead Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 "He's more nervous than a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs" "I'm busier than a one legged man at an asskicking contest" "I'm busier than a set of jumper cables at a Puerto Rican wedding" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glacier Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 Busier than a cat covering crap on a tile floor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thinker Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 Slicker than owl shit on a barn floor. Slicker than snot on a glass door knob. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursa_Eagle Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 ... dropped faster than a prom dress. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScottP Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 "colder than a well digger's ass" "hotter than a witch's tit in a brass bra" "dope will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no dope" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catbirdseat Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 "Colder than a brass toilet seat on the shady side of an iceberg." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fejas Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 That went over like a turd in a punch bowl! Nervas as a hore in church! I'd eat a mile of her shit just to see where it came from! I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers that for sure! What goes around, comes around! DICK OUT! Hell, I like you. you can come over to my house and fuck my sister! Here's to you, Here's to me. If I should die tomarrow, fuck you here's to me! Shit, I don't care, I'm as felexable as a drunk snake! Drunker than seven hundered Indians! three sheets to the wind! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EWolfe Posted March 12, 2004 Share Posted March 12, 2004 Grandpa, swearing: "Oh, Horsefeathers!" Grandma, catching me: "I've Got Eyes In The Back Of My Head!" "Red Sky at Night, Sailor's Delight. Red Sky in the Morning, Sailors Take Warning." "Three Sheets to the Wind" "You'll Go Blind Doing That!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SmokeShow Posted March 12, 2004 Share Posted March 12, 2004 That went over like a turd in a punch bowl! best so far Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JackY Posted March 12, 2004 Share Posted March 12, 2004 "when the going gets weird the weird turn pro" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Off_White Posted March 12, 2004 Share Posted March 12, 2004 You can smoke hash, and you can smoke beef, but you can't smoke corned beef hash. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjd Posted March 12, 2004 Share Posted March 12, 2004 butter my buns and call me a biscuit whatever tickles your pickel whatever blows your hair back Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fern Posted March 12, 2004 Share Posted March 12, 2004 "don't worry about it unless it turns black and drops off" ... the extent of sympathy I got from my father for any childhood injuries. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjd Posted March 12, 2004 Share Posted March 12, 2004 i've gotta see a man about a horse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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