Dr_Flash_Amazing

Hmmm...now that you mention it, Dr. Flash Amazing and Cobra Commander have never been seen together, have they? Kind of like RuMR and his alter-ego, Nobra Commando, only taller, slimmer, and less EWWWWW.

See, now that's what DFA is talking about. Simple, classic humor with a stylish twist of sleek, modern minimalism, and a subtle texture of the forbidden, which all adds up to the ha-ha hit of the season! This is why Cobra Commander holds the post of Majordomo of the AmazingCo, Inc. Amusements Bureau. The rest of you could learn something by paying attention for once. Good show!

That's funny. Maybe you should bring that routine to the annual CascadeClimbers Comedy Slammajamma this Spring. There wouldn't be a dry pair of trousers in the house after such a merciless onslaught of comic repartee.

Perhaps we could solve the energy crisis by making biodiesel out of the liposuctionings of America's legions of obese citizens.

Look, obviously any kind of fraud is undesirable. DFA's point, though, was that this is a relative drip compared to the 24/7 firehose that is the military/industrial complex. Not to mention, how many old people do you see out scooting around on their overpriced and ill-begotten eldercarts?

Shtoh? Nyet!

100% American beef piroshki slush fund?

Careful, there. Peace is unpatriotic, don'tchaknow? Please report to the nearest Hummer dealership for reprogramming and free American flag stickers.

What, you think the Doctor wants to see your flabulous manboobs sliding free of their sweaty spandex enclosure because you don't want to follow the rules? Get a webcam and stay home if you wanna flaunt that shit, you chubby pervert.

Come on, come on. This "war on terror," which apparently works better to incite terrorism than to prevent it, probably vaporizes more money in the time it takes DFA to write this post than Medicare shells out for motorized wheelchairs all year. This is the same bullshit logic that people drag out to complain about "overpaid" educators and their outlandish need for health insurance. The government could probably fund the entire educational system to the highest standards just by cutting funding to one black budget military contract, or by actually allowing congressional oversight & control of all military spending, but no one complains about that, because fear and scare tactics have you thinking "it's for our safety."

Apparently, you need to avoid crossover moves, or you risk "spillage."

Maybe we do need better, more streamlined oversight of government programs, so we can eliminate crap programs that don't perform and simply waste money. Or is that not what the Republicons had in mind? Something to think about next time you right-wing pukes go on some bullshit rant about spending on social services and the like.

W...W...WAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

You Otter know.

There's your solution to that Vladimir Ilyich statue, Glasgow. Strategically placed inflatable sheep, bomber adhesive; presto!

Try the pumpkin. Frosting's delicious!

Dru, you Otter be ashamed of yourself!

Number-chasin' rocks!

That's true, most of them are, although just down the road from the Doctor's ex-stepfather's house, some particularly wealthy specimens plunked down a cool 400k cash for a home, did an extensive addition/remodel on it, parked a couple Range Rovers in the garage, and used it for a vacation home. Likewise, just next door to DFA's dad's house is another, more modest, but still quite stylie vacation pad (with pool, natch). Perhaps the financially well-endowed are simply drawn to Dr. Flash Amazing, looking to pick up style points?

If by "Gollum" you mean "RuMR," and by "trying to fend him off" you mean "eagerly reaching for the Astroglide," then yeah, probably so.

So F-ing worth it, though. Once you go Apple, you'll never go bapple.

The only problem with Ashland is that it is rapidly getting frightfully expensive to live there, and many people are getting priced out of town as obscenely wealthy Californians snap up property, paying cash for half-million dollar homes and then doubling their value with full renovations of same (which are often no more than vacation homes for these folks). The influx of serious dough is definitely changing the character of the town, as a lot of the more fun/crusty elements and younger people with kids are forced out. They've already closed two out of the five elementary schools in town because there aren't enough kids to fill them.

Hmm...technically, Oxygen would hold the position of lengthiest/hardest-feeling endeavor, but it is unclear whether Dr. Flash Amazing is actually planning to ever attempt a send. Not to mention whether DFA will ever be uninjured for such a period of time as is required for sending anything "hard" ever again (knock on wood). Other notably lengthy battles to send were all of the routes 5.11 & harder at the Emigrant Lake crag in Ashland. Each of these routes (11b, 11c, 11d, 12a, 12c) was attempted far too soon in young DFA's climbing career, and redpoints thus came down to epic numbers of days spent, and some combination of luck and stubbornness, as good working/redpointing strategy was as yet unheard of amongst A-town's up-and-coming posse of climbing Gumbies. Ah, growing up. Then there was the mysterious Crack Babies, which the Doctor failed to send for many, many months, despite having the thing dialed into oblivion and down to one fall every single time, and accumulating numerous other sends on routes of equal or greater difficulty. And then there was the season-long siege of Kill the Hate, which was dialed down to one fall within a couple of weekends, but which for some reason would not go for the rest of the Spring, regardless of conditions, rest, nourishment, motivation, etc. Climbing is so complex!

What? Just because it hit him doesn't mean it necessarily hit him square on top of the helmet pointing straight down. Obviously from the story, it was a glancing blow. So shut up.

Not to mention what are you doing sitting around talking about your assbone in some fruitcake puh-lotties class? You some kind of closet soccer mom or something?