Dr_Flash_Amazing

When cats are outlawed, only outlaws will carry cats. When guns are outlawed, only cats will kill people. Cats don't kill people, outlaw cats with guns kill gun-owning future outlaws. When loaded guns in the kitchen are outlawed, outlaw cats will have to shoot their owners in other rooms of the house. Meow.

That's funny, Spesh, 'cause your mom is something of a hand-me-down in the PNW climbing community, the way DFA hears it, and we ain't talkin' EBs, either.

Wait, they're not? This could seriously affect the Doctor's much-sprayed-up redpoint level.

Hey, pal, the Doctor has climbed in the Lower AND Upper Gorges as well. Psh. are those areas any good?? Totally. Lots of bolts. There are some trad routes nearby, and occasionally some of those trad climber types all a-tangle with slings and breathless with excitement over their latest siege of a 5.8, but otherwise it's pretty rad. Not as rad as the mudpile, of course, but the approach is short and flat, so that's a plus. You can just walk to the top of the crag and drop your pack to the bottom, and scramble down unencumbered, which is good when you're in flip-flops.

Usually if you buy most commercial pilots a gin and tonic, they'll let you take the controls of the 747 for a while, and then they get to chill out or boff a stewardess or whatever. This is especially true on long flights, such as across the larger bodies of water (i.e. oceans), or across large landmasses such as continents. Good way to get some hours, and once the licensing people find out you been flyin' the big birds, they'll pretty much just give you a license for little single-engine things. You'll be hopping in the Cessna and hollering "clear prop!" in no time! There, best advice you've heard all week, about anything, and you can take it to the bank, free of charge, because Dr. Flash Amazing is just good people.

Hey, next time Dr. Flash Amazing takes the trouble to hurt your feelings, the least you could do is notice in a timely fashion. 'Cause DFA gots feelings too, you know.

Hey, pal, the Doctor has climbed in the Lower AND Upper Gorges as well. Psh.

Psh. Wanker. Clip some bolts, eh?

Here, homo, why don't you shut the fuck up? Fuckin' dwarf-ass bitch.

Hmm ... looks like they ain't got your size. DFA has been a longtime Cobra/Mistral/Miura owner, and for 25 bucks cheaper, the Venoms are a fine replacement and possible upgrade to the Cob's. Size 'em a little smaller, though; they seem to have a bit taller toe box, and a nice aggro fit. Break-in was a little painful 'cause of the rubber mesh over the toes, but after a few sessions, they're like butta, baby. Good luck!

You might check usoutdoorstore.com. They're here in PDX, and DFA just bought some Sportiva Venoms there; if the aging Doctor recalls correctly, there were cobras in the back room.

It's also probably harder/more expensive to make a 9.4 cord as durable and strong as a 10.5. Or they're giving us the screw.

She's a magazine editor. What makes her opinion any more worthwhile than anyone else's? Undue attention paid to someone and their views because they're semi-famous. The fact that she's obviously high on crack doesn't help, either.

DFA will buy you a dozen yoghurt cheese balls if you boulder a yak. Must use John Sherman standards, i.e. sit start to full topout; no jumping off when you latch the horns.

Nineteen ninety-two.

Yeah, REI could be going belly-up any day now. Uh huh. On a positive note, though, the catalog that came with this year's dividend featured La Sportiva Katanas, which is the first high performance climbing shoe REI has carried in years. Perhaps the sleeping giant is waking up?

Since it's spelled D-A-R-R-Y-N, you syrup-slurping mountie mounter.

Dr. Flash Amazing has it on good authority that you could possibly be right.

So Dru thinks he can faze Doc Amazing With a b'low-the-belt lim'rickal hazing But what will Dru do when He's caught out by the pen With a wooly friend doing some "grazing"?

There was a C'nuck sprayer named Dru Who racked up far more posts than you But then one fateful day After hours of spray Poor Dru choked and drowned on his own spew

Is it really a cover if the song is traditional? Versions of The Itsy Bitsy Spider are found in cultures throughout the world and are not attributable to any one author/composer. Well, it's not really relevant to the fact that it was a nauseatingly bad rendition of the song, but if you wanna split hairs, then sure, it's probably not technically a cover. Whoever it was, though, didn't write the song, so from that standpoint, it fits under the cover umbrella. Sheesh..

There was an Argentine gaucho named Bruno Knew ev'rything about sex there was to know He said "women are fine, and sheep are divine, but llamas are numero uno." Perhaps Off White can corroborate?

Dru, Dru, Dru...someone totally made that joke like a month ago. For shame.

God, it's worse than the Doctor suspected! Buncha deranged perverts.

How 'bout, if anyone listened to This American Life this evening, that song in one of the stories, who was it? Some woman from the '80s Covering "The Itsy Bitsy Spider"? Totally brain-bendingly bad. Shatner's got some competition there on the stylistic tip, and a definite beating on choice of content.