Dr_Flash_Amazing

quote: Originally posted by glen: What if work is fun? Definition 2 seems to apply.

quote: Originally posted by Greg W: Yes, but the first one can be used to rid the world of annoying sport "climbers" and terrorists. Greg W Well, now that you mention it, Smith has gotten rather overcrowded in recent years. Would you consider perhaps a little contract work?

quote: Originally posted by trask: ...this bit-o-wit from a sporty who's avatar looks like "what??" ... a three-piece expansion bolt with Petzl hanger?

Witness the bizarre dichotomy of the NRA enthusiast's personality: fanatical embracing of phallic weapon which shoots when touched the right way (and also, in olden times, had to be rammed in the hole with a rod before use), and violent rejection of another decidedly phallocentric lifestyle. Very curious, indeed.

Shit, Arc'teryx designers could be smoking ground up children for all DFA cares. They design the most bombingest (yes, bombingest) shit ever. See Arc'teryx Vapor, best sports climbing harness ever conceived, and Arc'teryx [insert name of pack here], most comfortable pack ever to haul shit. See also 90% of Arc'teryx garments, excepting the $150 Schoeller shorts. That's pushing it. But shit, the Doctor says give them boys more dope if that's the products that result! Then again, perhaps this alleged consumtion of the "kind green nuggets" explains the labrynthine and counterintuitive nature of their website? "Duuuuuude, the links magically appear when you mouse over them! Whoah, who ate my Cheetos, dude?" [ 08-16-2002, 03:54 PM: Message edited by: Dr Flash Amazing ]

Holy frigging crap! No wonder so many airline passengers spontaneously combust! Stop the insanity! No more on airlines!

Those fucking airlines are so hypocritical. You can't bring a half a liter of white gas on the plane, but for some reason it's OK for the wings to be full of like 500 gallons of Jet A fuel? Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

Hmm ... carries itself, eh? Clever stove design. The leather carrying case is especially thoughtful.

Here is Dr. Flash Amazing's preferred stove design. As you can see, it is easily portable. It will boil water in approximately 3.7 seconds, and is very handy for melting high volumes of snow in those hydration-critical situations, and is additionally useful in those "this large cornice is in my way" situations. Some have noted a potential fire hazard when used in a tent, but as long as one is careful not to get the flame too close to the tent wall or a sleeping bag, it should be fine. And of course there's the "doesn't simmer well" complaint that is frequently leveled at stoves such as the XGK-II, but it's really a minor issue given the obvious benefits. Availability is somewhat limited; contact your local sporting goods or outdoor retail store for more information on ordering. [ 08-16-2002, 01:08 PM: Message edited by: Dr Flash Amazing ]

quote: Originally posted by danielpatricksmith: Burlap

The boot fitter will stretch the balls out of your footwear, causing it to fit better. Zam!

What? Speak to humans? Blasphemy! Internet all the way -- communication for the aggressively anti-social.

"...the only thing that gathers [hand gesture] my interest and holds [hand gesture] it is bouldery, powerful moves ..." - Todd Skinner

quote: Originally posted by Dru: Tuvan throat singing. "OOOHHHHHHHWWWWWAAAAAANNNNNNGGGGGGGUUUUUUAAAHHHHHH HHMMMMMMMMBBBBBBBAAAAAAAOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHM MMMMMMAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAANNNNNNGGGGg" [ 08-15-2002, 12:43 PM: Message edited by: Dr Flash Amazing ]

quote: Originally posted by Dru: Punk in Drublic is so 90's. I listened to it when it was cool. Balls. Punk in Drublic is still in rotation on the DFA sound system. As long as it rocks and it ain't commercial crap, bring it. So what, then, good sir, is cool to listen to now?

Only climbing 50' sport pitches is another great way to keep communications open. Long routes are just plain dangerous!

Hey, dammit! You alpos aren't supposed to be cool or have good taste in stuff! Then again, most sportos seem to have an inexplicable love for that beeping, whirring shite known as techno (or hard house or ambient trance grooves or whatever the fuck those silver-pants-wearing E-droppers call it these days ), so perhaps it stands to reason that the alpine set should get the good taste. Curiouser and curiouser.

quote: Originally posted by Chongo: You, sir, are no Hayduke. Balls to you, fucker. Dr. Flash Amazing "piss[es] on you ... from a considerable height." While DFA may indeed not be George Washington fucking Hayduke, he certainly has a role model therein. Who are you, anyway?

quote: Originally posted by G-spotter: For stone of river, to go up is, not to use the hatchet of ice so well on problems already established, because small influences and flakes can be eliminated. However, if you are with sector which no visit is then free you to decide, to make, who it is also always your preference, to choose and "nut with you!" with each one besides. Words to live by, there.

quote: Originally posted by Attitude: quote:Originally posted by Dr Flash Amazing: a bit of a hyperspraying cheeseball.... This is too easy... Dr. Flash Amazing cordially invites you to get fucked, friend. Cheery-o, then!

Is that fellow in the last photo firing up a chub of the oft-mentioned ?

quote: Originally posted by trask: you're a rather foul mouthed bastard aren't you? The Doctor always fucking has been.

There, there, little fella. Those crusty mountain bastards rag on sport climbers, too. Terrible, no? Just politely inform them that they can get fucked, and continue on your way.

Probably so, Thinker. An article in the May, 1948 issue of "Large Balls Mountaineering Monthly" about the upcoming "cordless roto-hammer" from Hilti and its power to facilitate the placement of many of the new "stainless steel glue-in" bolts from Petzl was widely heralded as the true beginning of the sport climbing revolution. It was also the beginning of the soon-to-be-never-ending hostility between sportos and alpos.

Ugh. Even Dr. Flash Amazing won't go that far. Although those laser-pointers would be good for playing "stick" in the gym, so you don't need an unwieldy stick. Yep. Right.