Dr_Flash_Amazing

quote: Originally posted by TimL: Funny thing, I never hear of sport climbers complaining about gear climbers. It’s always gear climbers bitching and moaning about sport climbers. What gives? The only thing I hear from sport climbers as "trad" climbers pass by at the crags is chuckles:D or laughter at the self righteous idiot in a helmet with all new gear and chaotic mess of slings draped over themselves like a medieval barbarian proclaiming some mantra about bolts this or that. Climbing is supposed to be fun. If your so involved that your knocking people for being a sport or a trad climber and not focusing on you and your friends climbing maybe you should see a doctor. Or just do something else like play in traffic! Holy shit! The voice of reason speaks!

quote: Originally posted by Dwayner: So, if sport-climbing is frustrating and frustration is all part of the fun, why complain about having to wait? By that view, the additional frustration entailed in the uncertainty of waiting can only add to the "good times"! Sorry, mate, but as a trad-man, it's really hard for me to relate to several weekends involving "80 feet of at-your-limit sickness". Nothing I read so far changes my opinion and I'm surprised that the "Doctor" didn't enjoy the humorous sporty-stereotype. OK, the point about frustration was not a good one. Frustration from actually climbing, good. People who monopolize routes without giving other people a go, bad. And the Doctor might have enjoyed your "humorous" sporty stereotype had it seemed more like good satire than run-of-the-mill slagging and stereotyping.

quote: Originally posted by backcountrydog: It goes clean on aid yet the sporty's don't like the commitment required to place gear on lead while free climbing. neither do "aid" climbers Of course sport climbers don't like the commitment required to place gear on lead while free climbing. That's why we're sport climbers, Holmes.

Helmet on when: - trad climbin' (yeah, DFA does that on occasion) - sport climbing at Maple Canyon - posting on cc.com

quote: Originally posted by Thinker: so for lack of other options, I went into REI last night. T'would be a week or more til I got my pack back. Said "sorry, no can do...heading to the Tetons this weekend." I asked the kindly young man for a piece of fabric so I can mangle my own (temporary) patch. He gave me a chunk, no charge. I'm impressed. Just cut a fabric patch for each side of each hole (be sure to use circles or at least rounded corners so they don't snag on stuff). Then glue the two patches on with Seam Grip, and be sure to coat around the edges of each patch. That shit is indestructible, and at least as bomber as sewing the patches, but way less hassle if you're careful with the SG. [ 08-20-2002, 05:05 PM: Message edited by: Dr Flash Amazing ]

Is that anything like the famed/infamous Cottontail Ranch? "I say don't drink and drive you might spill your drink before you get behind the wheel just stop and think you can take your chances but there's so much to lose another bumpy road and so much wasted booze I'm not so worried 'bout how many I kill I'm much more concerned with how much beer I spill" - NOFX

"knock it back and have another one drinking and driving is so much fun!" - The Business

quote: Originally posted by Dru:

quote: Originally posted by Dwayner: I'm busy at the moment and don't have time to rephrase what I've already stated. If you don't understand it...some other time. P.P. you're back to your old, tired self. a) you don't know squat about what Dwayner has climbed, or can or cannot climb. b) you are to be recognized as a master pseudo-logian. c) you give me a dang headache. d) you think sport-doggin' and its accompanying luggage has improved climbing? I disagree. e) did I mention that you give me a headache? Sexy Coco.....I thought you went out to clip some choss? Your time might be better teaching P.P. a few of the latest Moondance steps. And people criticize Dr. Flash Amazing for being pompous?

quote: Originally posted by Attitude: So Dr. Flash Amazing is neither? Nope, Dr. Flash Amazing is all of the above. It's a superhero/alter ego scenario, kind of like Superman/Clark Kent or something, but without the twee outfit.

quote: Originally posted by Greg W: This is not like the "i wish i were an asshole sportclimber with a pompous post-graduate title in front of my name" fan club where you pay your $5 and automatically get your yellow spandex and stick-clip... Greg W So, Greg, what seems to be up your ass, mate? If you take the Doctor's title and demeanor too seriously, it must be your head, as Dr. Flash Amazing is just a front for a guy having fun wasting time on the internet. And just FYI, old bean, yellow spandex hasn't been seen at a sport crag since before DFA started climbing, but thanks for playing "Stereotype the Sport Climber!" Maybe you need to hit the firing range and work off some of that aggression, eh?

quote: Originally posted by sexual chocolate: I don't know if difficulty, pure "objective" difficulty is something that motivates an individual such as Dwayner. His ethics and motivations were developed when climbing was more of an isolationist's pursuit, especially here in the NW (is Dwayner from here?). Now climbing has become mainstream, thanks in large part to the ease of clipping bolts or the ease of laying a crash pad on the ground (plus, it's fun?). If anything, I feel sadness when hearing Dwayner's lamentations about the changes in "our" sport. Perhaps if he could develop a little compassion for the human condition, and understand that things do indeed change, he might be able to actually engage in the ENJOYMENT of climbing, climbing in ALL its aspects? Good cripes!!! It's Voice-of-Reason round two ! Indeed. DFA fondly recalls the first 5.[hard] route he sent, which he did with a gent old enough to be the Doctor's dad. This guy had done Heinous Cling back when it took gear, and plenty of other tradly shit, (and he remembered the advent of sticky rubber) and here he was having a fine time projecting a Smith Rock bolt-o-rama. It was a fine time, and great to see someone who grew up on a whole different kind of climbing out enjoying himself doing the old tug-grunt-and-hang routine.

quote: Originally posted by Dwayner: Yup. Tried it. It made me feel cheap and dirty. Really. ... Although sporty people can choose to rehearse moves repeatedly for days, hang off closely-spaced bolts to rest, with the stickiest of shoes, etc., I still have a hard time believing that such antics are equivalent in excellence to leading a trad climb from the bottom up (hopefully without falling) and placing most if not all of one's pro and removing it afterwards, leaving the rock intact for the next contenders. Just my opinion. Tried it, studied it, and found it distasteful. That's my story. - Dwayner How can you be serious talking about sticky rubber contributing to some kind of substandard sport climbing ethic? Wasn't sticky rubber accepted as something that allowed one to ascend harder routes sometime in the 70s? If you're going to kvetch about sport climbers using "the stickiest of rubber" (whaaaaaa!), then you're an anachronism, and a rather up-tight one at that. Do you climb in your old deck shoes or hobnailed boots? Give the Doctor a break, friend.

quote: Originally posted by erik: issue there dfa is that what if i lose my sequence or my phyce after allowing others to warm up on it...what if i spy their beta and lose my classified ascent.....you said it best when you stated there are many warn ups and routes of equal caliber...... Well, if you're going to forget the sequence, you're probably pretty far from sending it anyway, no? So losing fifteen minutes and taking a rest probably isn't going to sabotage your redpoint. If you don't want beta, look the other way while they climb. i still think projecting routes and such is micro managing the sport....but thats your and their deal not mine....i would never wait around in a line to climb a route......that is like "moo...moo...mooo" a bunch of cattle in a herd..... The thing with projecting is that if you want to get better, sooner or later you're going to take more than one attempt to do something. And, eventually, you wind up climbing all the routes that are at your current level that you're interested in doing, so the logical progression is to try something harder. And yeah, obviously if you don't like waiting for a route, why do it? you can certainly be patient and share things such as that....but what is the point...is someone else going to do the same for me???i doubt it......granted i will say most locals(people from the nearby area) are good people, i find it is the people from like seattle vertical world or pdx whatever gym are the people whom need the lesson.......alot of those people enjoy the sit aruond game and give positive vibes to their homies....like whateva climb for yourself....if my friend can do it...good for him.....if he cannot i am sure he tried his hardest..... People are always slagging Portland and Seattle gym-goers for being dicks. The thing is, there are maybe one or two people from either joint who are lame, the rest of them are quite cool. If your paths crossed more often, you'd find that out. if i had one complaint it is the self importance other put unto themselves(i am guilty too) really noone that i know cares what another has done...people accomplishments are great, but not at the cost of me personally..... it is fun to watch someone work .14's and shit......but that is all, it doesn't inspire me or make me wish i were better...because i am who i am..... human nature sux.....deal with it....... sorry for the randomness i am nervous for my tommorow!!! Random is right! But whatever, climb what you like and have a good time, and don't forget to share. [ 08-20-2002, 11:59 AM: Message edited by: Dr Flash Amazing ]

quote: Originally posted by erik: so flash this fall when i am done giong for my repoint on traffic light(oops i mean magic light) and i am working sequences and shit on lead, and one of your friends comes by and has a bit of tude cause i working his eamr up.....can i lower throttle him for being a selfish wank and then return to my normal hang doggging programming?? you logic does not address this issue... "Traffic Light" no shit. You know, most people the Doc knows would definitely yield the route to someone projecting it. DFA was projecting a route a while back that many of the park's resident hardpersons use as a warmup, and no one said "get outta my way, that's my warmup." But the Doctor would finish dogging whatever section he was dogging, then lower off and let someone trot up it like it was 5.6 and be on their way. It's all about the give and take, and it's not just toproping vs. redpointing. The basic premise being that if you're working the shit out of something and someone's going to take five minutes to hop on the route real quick and then be done with it, it's cool to let them do so. Likewise, if ten people want to warm up on a route you're trying to redpoint, it would be cool if they find another route to warm up on, as there are many. It basically comes down to respecting that someone is putting or has put a lot of work into sending a route, and also what makes sense. Obviously if you've been dogging Tragic Light for two hours and a party of two just wants to run up it once to warm up, you should give them a go. But if there's an assload of people lined up to warm up on the thing and you just want to hop on real quick and send it because it's your project, then it would be right good of those folks to wait a few minutes while you give it a go. Makes pretty good sense, no? And hey, you don't even have to pose, spray, or snub anybody to do it! [ 08-20-2002, 11:30 AM: Message edited by: Dr Flash Amazing ]

quote: Originally posted by Dwayner: "It's frustrating when you can't lead your project because 20 people are waiting in line to toprope it." "I'M FRUSTRATED." boo-hoo! Too dang bad. Sport-climber, meet life. Life, meet sport-climber. NOTICE THE USE OF THE TERM: "YOUR PROJECT". "hey...you're on MY project. ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME MEME ME ME ME ME ME ME And it's really important to me so you'd better get out of the way!!! I'm sooooooooo frustrated! ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME I'm going to clip those bolts, hang a bit, swear, comb my hair back, grunt, swear, clip another bolt and so forth (you can watch if you like) and it's really important to me so you'd better get out of the way!!! I'm sooooooooo frustrated! ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME "can't we all just get along." - the immortal words of the philosopher-king, Rodney King. The answer is NO. It's against human nature, but we can tolerate each other which means wait your turn and quit trying to jump the queue! P.S. SK...I'm not targeting you in the above...just addressin' the general situation. You know, you're not addressing the general situation, you're dropping the lamest of stereotypes and generalizing up the ass. Yeah, sport climbers are only concerned about their hair and getting noticed by other climbers. Of course! What other mentality could we possibly have if we don't like ten-mile approaches and bivying in our packs? Must be a bunch of posing egomaniacs just hoping to get sponsored, right? After putting several weekends and a lot of work into figuring out how to hang on through 80 feet of at-your-limit sickness, it IS frustrating to have to sit there while someone takes twenty minutes to figure out the first move. Is the frustration that big of a deal? No. Sport climbing is frustrating as fuck, and that's part of the fun; beating your head against the wall to solve improbable sequences and link them all together. But it IS a big deal when someone is monopolizing a route for hours and won't let you take five minutes to redpoint it and move on. Especially since if you were projecting the route for a while, they probably clipped your draws to set up the TR. It's common courtesy. Why is it that you can only see it from the standpoint of sport climber ego? You talk about tolerating each other, and that's a two-way street. Sure, the Doctor hopes that if you're TRing a route he wants to redpoint that you'll break for a few minutes and let him have a go. On the same token, he'd be happy to put your rope back up, switch out his draws for yours, scrub the holds and hang around and help you figure out the crux afterwards too. And, surprise, surprise, what go around come around, and the Doctor will be sure to give you your redpoint burn next time he's toproping something into oblivion. [ 08-20-2002, 11:21 AM: Message edited by: Dr Flash Amazing ]

Ah, once again, the alpos slag the sportmonkeys for having any sort of ethical standard by which to coexist. Sorry, old goats, but it's common courtesy and commonly understood that someone who is trying to redpoint (yeah, probably with the draws hanging) their project should be allowed to do so by toproping route-hogs. Why is that so tough to grasp? If you're trying to knock off a route in a day and there are slow-moving gumbies clogging the belays, would you expect them to move out of the way for a faster-moving party? Or would you be content lurking there while they take 20 minutes to figure out how to use a nut tool? Like the concept of redpointing with the draws hanging, it just makes more sense in the sport realm to yield occasionally. It's called "sharing." And just as it's common practice for topropers to give someone who's redpointing a little time, it's common for someone between redpoint burns to let others TR the route while they rest. There are a lot of people trying to climb out there, and there's no point in being a selfish dick and saying "you should have gotten up earlier if you wanted to climb this--better luck tomorrow," when it's just as likely to be you in the same situation the next day. [ 08-20-2002, 11:04 AM: Message edited by: Dr Flash Amazing ]

Is that why they have half an acre of wildlife posters and all those random Slovenian teriyaki chocolate noodle energy bars? DFA knew there had to be an explanation, but couldn't figure out what it was.

From the hallowed pages of napalm.net, some warnings. Pay special attention to item 4: *** WARNING - Napalm.Net holds no responsibility for death, injuries, or property damages. - do not drink or eat it - do not burn people with it - do not burn down trees and grass in your yard - do not torture little woodland creatures with it - do not remove it from its original container - do not store outside of 0-100 degrees farenheit - do not exceed normal barometric pressures - do not use it as fuel for your car - do not shower with your napalm - do not yell at it - do not taunt it - do not call it names - do not sacrifice animals/people to your napalm - do not sniff the fumes from it - do not use it to block yourself from fires - do not do anything besides stare at it

quote: Originally posted by trask: quote:Originally posted by Dru: they breed faster than you can shoot em, you are doomed! For those of you with a pesky Snafflehound problem, Napalm.Net has bought 5,000 pounds of weapons grade Napalm and has individually packaged it in safe, attractive, displayable canisters. Each canister holds one liter of actual Napalm which you can ONLY purchase through Napalm.Net. Is that a french press the napalm is in? What a waste of perfectly good coffee-making apparatus! And what the hell is up with napalm.net? Dr. Flash Amazing marvels at our increasingly bizarre world.

Ah, for an added degree of enjoyment, there's the summer classic (considered too cold for winter) Couch-to-white port route, a stellar and rather relaxing line, even given the hassle of the specific gear needed (i.e. a port glass).

Dr. Flash Amazing is proud to announce that this weekend he successfully ticked the technical and committing Couch-to-Beer traverse in an astonishing 16 seconds round-trip (including decapping, thank you). Next weekend, a fast 'n' light alpine-style assault on the New Seasons beer aisle is planned, weather permitting.

Definitely the worst post-shutdown. But then again, isn't there always something new to flail/fail on after those successful weekends? Work always sucks shit to return to after any kind of climbing, or any other outdoor- or beer-related activity, for that matter.

quote: Originally posted by mattp: So my question is, what about Friday afternoons -- harder or easier when you are planning a big outing? Friday afternoons are miserable hell before a trip or the weekend when you're ready to send something. The Doctor finds it difficult to actually do much on those Fridays. Of course, the lure of the weekend alone is usually enough to cut the paying-attention moorings loose. Damn that blasted office all to hell!

quote: Originally posted by glen: You gotta have flash. Doctor Flash; Amazing, that is. Truer words were never spoken.