Dr_Flash_Amazing

1. DFA has been purveying his spray in the third person since long before that hack Master Beta came on the scene. 2. While a sport enthusiast, DFA does not carry or use a stick clip, therefore GregW will have to substitute another object for his Dr. Flash Amazing anal fantasies--sorry, sport! 3. Glenn Danzig is a fuckin' troll. Can you actually listen with a straight face to him singing about how he "killed your baby today?" The guy's gotta be pushin' 50 ... 4. Richard Noggin is hereby entitled to free treatments at the Amazing Clinic, as well as free admission to all AmazingCo., Inc. sponsored events. [ 08-06-2002, 02:55 PM: Message edited by: Dr Flash Amazing ]

quote: Originally posted by Dru: im all in favor of voluntary war. all willing combatants propceed to antarctica immediately - i will chip in to pay for your guns and ammo... You monster! What about the penguins and all of the ... snow?

Let's see, here. You're probably one of those climbers that kvetches about ill-prepared wanks mobbing your favorite route and buggering up your backcountry experience, no? Why encourage Dr. Flash Amazing, avowed projecter (as opposed to "projector," as in movies or slides) and sports climbing afficionado to come visit your mountains? Anyway, when DFA said "weeks," that's in weekend warrior terms, not literal weeks (although some projects have stretched over enough weekends to fill a few weeks). The Doctor is referring to several weekends' worth of work. Plus, while you're interested in taking in some lovely wilderness scenery (a fine pursuit, in DFA's opinion, but one he typically engages in from a boat or his boots), Dr. Flash Amazing is interested in climbing more hard routes. Believe it or not, solving sequences and mustering up the endurance to keep pulling while you're too pumped to think straight is actually pretty fun. Imagine that! [ 08-06-2002, 01:48 PM: Message edited by: Dr Flash Amazing ]

Au contraire, mister mountaineer! He was wearing the new La Sportiva "Club" slipper, which he helped design for the many toeless alpine climbers who are flocking to the exciting and convenient arena of sports climbing. From La Sportiva's product literature: "...in fact, the Club was developed by famed alpinist Reinhold Messner. Its special rectangular last is designed to fit the feet of mountaineers who have lost their toes to frostbite, and, coincidentally, those with clubfoot."

Mr. Puget, The verb "projecting" is actually derived from the noun "project," as in, "Dyno Dave has been working on his project for months, dude!" It has nothing to do with the verb "to project." Thank you for your interest in sports climbing and its attendant terminologies. Regards, Dr. Flash "Vocab" Amazing

True! Cc.com is now a wholly owned subsidiary of the megaconglomerate AmazingCo., Inc. This means you're all subject to the unpredictable, iron-fisted whim of Dr. Flash Amazing, malicious mastermind and terrifying tycoon. Cower, unwashed dogs!

For best results, purchase a pack of stencil letters from your neighborhood office or art supply store, get some spraypaint (pick a color), and spell out "I AM MARK TWIGHT, FEAR MY TORMENTEDNESS" on your lid. Sure to instill fear and admiration at any crag.

Cripes! It took DFA four hours to hike in! Well, maybe not quite four hours, but close enough ...

The hell with a new "speed" forum! What this joint needs is a damn "sport" forum. How the hell can you cats have a "spray" forum and no one even drops names, numbers, or talks about that wicked lockoff on the sloping gaston at the fourth bolt? [ 08-06-2002, 10:20 AM: Message edited by: Dr Flash Amazing ]

Oh, it's merino wool, is it? Well, look who's got an encyclopedic knowledge of textiles, Mr. Prancing Nancy. Do tell, is it one of those natty sweater vests?

Hmmm ... ask a simple question, get pilloried. Is that how it works around here? You smell of unwashed polypropylene, buster.

Don G., In Dr. Flash Amazing's (rarely) humble opinion, the reason it is more common or accepted practice to leave the draws hanging on hard routes is that fewer people climb them. If you leave your draws up on a 5.10 or whatever, you know that there are going to be a lot of people who are climbing that route, which means you probably don't know a tenth of them. This of course makes you cautious, because who knows which one of those many climbers might thief your gear? Many beginners don't yet know that hanging draws aren't free goodies. Additionally, many climbers at the 5.10 level are still sorting out things like general technique, and still want to climb more than one route in a day to get some more experience, rather than flogging one project for hours on end. If you leave your draws up on say, Kings of Rap, you can be pretty sure that 100 people aren't going to be trying it, and you'll probably meet the other folks projecting it. Thus you can be fairly sure that someone's not going to kipe your clips, since you know who they are. And secondly, many people who are projecting hard routes will just do a couple warm-ups, then while away most of the day working on one route. It often takes weeks to send something, which adds up to a lot of attempts and a lot of dinking with draws if you're removing them all the time. So it's not just a case of people who climb hard thinking they're too cool for school, it's that it typically makes less sense for a 5.10 climber to leave their draws up on a route. It seems to the Doctor that a lot of beginning climbers (or experienced climbers who don't climb hard sport routes) project this image onto those who do climb hard that the hardmen are all big-ego jerks who are only concerned with the grade of the route they're working, and whether their shoelaces match their chalk bag. But if you ever spent some time lurking around the Churning Buttress or Aggro Wall, you'd find a bunch of cool people who couldn't give a shit if you're projecting 5.6 or 5.14. In fact, with the exception of the rather loud and brash Dr. Kubiak, DFA has yet to meet a 5.hard climber who even made the Doc think they had an ego problem (and Kubiak, it turns out, is actually a nice guy--you just wouldn't guess it right off when he starts hollering at you that you're using the "gay Canadian sequence" and you've never even met the guy). Those trad climbers, on the other hand ... [ 08-06-2002, 10:05 AM: Message edited by: Dr Flash Amazing ]

Don't we all look better in Spandex?

Hell, no. Don't say "mall," buster. It's unbecoming and patently offensive. According to the AmazingCo., Inc. Pocket Dictionary, "sick ass" is a sports climbers' term meaning "first rate; of the highest quality (see also 'top shelf')"

Beckey, schmeckey. What about Wolfgang Gullich, you crusty goats? Hey, look! There's punk rock emoticons! Sick ass!

quote: Originally posted by iain: Probably best not to use the fuel bottles that say "MSR Fuel Bottle" too. Gee, what makes you say that?

No, no, no, no. The point of climbing is scoring enough points to prove that you're hella super way exxxtreme to the Mountain Dew max. That's what they said on the TV, anyway.

quote: I sport climb and I trad climb. I like both. but "the technical mastery of quickdraw placement"? It's either left clip or right clip. Not the same as plugging gear... Here, let the Doctor spell it out: it's S-A-R-C-A-S-M.

Ah, yes. If it's about being facetious, Dr. Flash Amazing and yourself will be getting along just fine. As long as you solemnly swear to admit that sport climbing is way rad. Aloha, Dr. Flash "Arguing is dumb. Let's all get along like on 'Barney'" Amazing

What about the big numbers? Is it still OK to spray about the big numbers? And let's not forget name-dropping and exaggerating. How the hell are you going to talk about climbing without all that?

Thanks, Erik! <---- that's PBR, of course Lambone has a good point about red- vs. pinkpointing. Those terms are fairly dated, and since the standard is to climb no-falls with the draws already up, it's generally referred to as a "send," and it's assumed that the draws were hanging there for you. So when it's time to hit the pub and spray about how rad you are, one might say that they "got," "did," "sent," "fired," or "fuckin' ass-reamed" the route.

quote: Originally posted by Don Gonthier: Lambone. If its not such a big deal, why give it a special name? Why don't you just say 'hey I lead that' or 'I fell on a that while toproping'? See, come on now, it is a big deal to you. You wish you could place the draws on lead, but ya can't, so you give it a special name to preserve your ego. Think about it. I'm sure most sport routes you climb it makes no difference, but there has to be a few that without hanging draws first you can't climb free. It dosn't matter if its only just a tiny bit easier. If you can't do it without pre placeing draws, you still can't do it. Changing the name of somthing dosen't change the thing. The thing I don't like is that while we all have a limit at which we all fall off, if a climber were to pre hang draws on a 10a he wouldn't get quite the respect that a climber prehanging draws on a 12a would get. Yet the tactics are exactly the same. Its all about ego. Lambone this is not an attack on you personally but just a random rant. Funny thing, every one of the Doctor's no-fall lead ascents (since we're delving into semantics) have taken place with draws hanging, aside from onsights. And it is common practice at Smith to see people from the Peanut to Churning Buttress "redpointing" routes with the draws already up. You see, sport climbers have moved past quibbling over which way is more cool, and simply go with the way that makes the most sense for the medium. A 5.10 climber gets no less respect for sending with the draws already hanging than a 5.12 climber, and DFA has never heard hardman sporty types badmouthing beginners for climbing this way. It's basically the accepted means by which one progresses in sport climbing, as the emphasis is on pushing ones physical limit, not the technical mastery of quickdraw placement. It's not as if having the draws in place suddenly enables you to advance a couple number grades or something. And since 99.9999% of the sport climbing world uses the draws-in-place redpoint standard, it's not as if claiming a redpoint with the draws up is somehow cheating.

quote: Originally posted by Don Gonthier: DFA aren't you a little far from home? I think you should run along home before one of the big kids steals your lunch money. Come on! quoting Alan Watts as an authority on climbing ethics. Get real. 'Oh, I got the pink point'. 'Oh, Oh, I think I'm having a redpoint'. How gay. The "big kids," huh? The Doctor should be concerned because alpine and trad climbing are so much more legitimate pursuits, is that it? Please. We'll see if you're still shit-talking sport climbers the next time you need someone to rescue your draws after another failed attempt on Gumby, hardman. Anyway, DFA was just explaining (from a sport climber's point of view--imagine that!) a common sport climbing practice, and citing an appropriately sport climbing-oriented source written by the father of American sport climbing. W/r/t DFA being "far from home," various members of cc.com keep peppering the smithrock.com message board with requests for the Doctor and other sport-minded individuals to come visit. And he wouldn't normally hang out with such a crass assortment of crusty mountain goats (a compliment, no?), but smithrock.com has been a little slow lately, so here he is.

Silly alpine/trad climbers! If you crack open your Smith Rock guidebook, (which was published in what, 1992?) and refer to the "Ethics" section, there is a blurb about means of ascent. The idea of leaving the draws hanging and calling the no-falls ascent of a thusly-prepared route a "redpoint" harkens back at least a decade, and is endorsed by none other than Alan Watts, American Sports-Climbing Hero. The concept being that with bolts already in place, the point of a sport route is to push one's physical limit without having to dink with gear. So while hanging draws adds some difficulty to it, it's far from the same amount of difficulty added by placing gear on a trad route. But the point is that this practice has been in place for years, and 99.9999% (official government survey figures) of all sport routes that are redpointed are done with the draws hanging.

On the trad side, that would have to be Outer Space, the location and enjoyability of which probably need not be explained to anyone here. But it's the longest route the usually bolt-clipping Doctor has done, and it was a kick in the ass. In the sport realm, Chain Reaction at Smith is tough to beat. Extremely fun, unusual moves, good rock, great feature, and it's not too long so you don't get pumped out of your mind. Toxic runs a not-too-close second, as the Doctor's most oft'-climbed fun route.