Dr_Flash_Amazing

Wimp, huh? Must've drawn some more blood. You want mommy to get you a Band-Aid brand adhesive bandage, li'l fella? There, there, it'll be OK.

Hey, it was a legitimate question. Doesn't it look like a boxing platypus to you? And anyway, DFA never spills Cheerios on the carpet, and always picks up his Barbies when he's done, uh, playing with them. Yeah.

Rob, on a totally unrelated topic, is your avatar a boxing platypus?

Nah, he's the 'super-whitey', so named for his appearance after taking a dousing in man goo. True fact, saw it on Springer!

Q. What's the difference between Captain Caveman and Michael Jackson? A. People are scared of Michael Jackson. Ohhh, that's gotta hurt!

Get OUT!

Nah, DFA will pass on the WWF bullshit. Much more fun to keep slowly bleeding your fragile ego with playground taunts and watch you lose your shit time and again. Do you have any idea how funny it is every time you threaten to kick the Doctor's ass? Two words, Ray: non-stop laugh riot.

You definitely maybe think so, huh, Detective Caveman? Maybe Ray deserves the title of Columbo, crotchety aspiring junior investigator that he is.

Nahhh ... great route with excellent features, low-key approach, brilliant summit, and the moves are all dialed. Just need to find the right weekend for the send and it's on! Mrs. DFA !

Did somebody say DRI? THERE'S A GIG AT FIFTH AND MAIN GONNA CATCH THE BUS OR TAKE THE TRAIN WE'LL STEAL OR FIND OR BORROW CASH AND WE'LL BE THERE READY TO THRASH THE BAND KICKS IN, THEY BEGIN TO RAGE NO-MAN'S LAND, IN FRONT OF THE STAGE POSEURS IN THE BATHROOM STILL LOOKING AT THEIR HAIR THRASHERS IN THE FOREGROUND DOING WHAT THEY DARE IN THE PIT, IN THE PIT, IN THE PIT, IN THE PIT IN THE PIT THRASHING AND SLAMMING LIKE HELL IN THE PIT TOMORROW THEY KNOW MAY NOT COME BANGING AND MOSHING LIKE THEY DON'T GIVE A SHIT TO THE RAPID BEAT OF THE DRUM A BOOT TO YOUR FOREHEAD, A KNEE TO YOUR FACE YOUR NOSE AND LIPS START TO BLEED LIKE A WILD INDIAN FROM OUTERSPACE DRUNK AND HIGH ON WEED GUITAR SEEMS SO FUCKING LOUD PEOPLE WALKING ON THE CROWD DIVING OFF THE P.A. STACKS BREAKING ANKLES, NECKS AND BACKS THEN THE CIRCLE BEGINS IN THE PIT FISTS ARE FLYING, PEOPLE ARE GETTING HIT TOOTH CHIPPERS LEFT AND RIGHT SKINHEADS IN ANOTHER FIGHT BANGING HEADS AND BROKEN JAWS BECAUSE THERE ARE NOT LAWS IN THE PIT THEN YOU START THRASHING LIKE NEVER BEFORE STAGEDIVING, HEADWALKING LIKE MAD DOING YOUR THING ALL OVER THE FLOOR THE BEST TIME THAT YOU'VE EVER HAD YOU ARE HURT ALL OVER, BUT CAN'T FEEL A THING NOT UNTIL THE NEXT DAY THEN YOU'LL WAKE UP, STIFF AS A BOARD AND THE PAIN WON'T GO AWAY ANOTHER GIG AT FIFTH AND MAIN WE'LL CATCH THE BUS OR TAKE THE TRAIN WE'LL STEAL OR FIND OR BORROW CASH AND WE'LL BE THERE READY TO THRASH IN THE PIT, IN THE PIT, IN THE PIT, IN THE PIT IN THE PIT

Maybe. Coming from a small and fairly hip town, they were all peace punks with Crass patches. Whatever; the concept of "punk" has gotten so diluted and scattered, it's pretty meaningless now. Skate punk, peace punk, hardcore punk, gutter punk, skinhead, SHARP, rude boy, mod, new school, old school, sellout. Fuckit; bring the rawk.

Since when is punk rock about being a tough guy, tough guy? As far as tough guys mouthing off behind monitors, DFA hasn't exactly been threatening to kick the ass of any and all who disagree with and/or upset him, unlike other individuals on the board. And don't think the Doctor didn't talk plenty of shit as a youth, either. Being a skinny smartass teaches you how to run pretty damn fast.

We need that sleeping guy graemlin back, too. *yawn*

That's pretty much DFA's opinion. Although, after being totally floored by a $20k system at the local audio store (an excellent joint staffed by folks just as happy to sell you a $300 CD player as a $3,000 interconnect -- but never pushing you to buy anything: www.stereotypesaudio.com), the Doctor was considering trading in his car on the spot and spending the rest of his days sitting on the couch spinning CDs. One of the fellows at Stereotypes is a rep for Plinius, who makes rather pricey gear as well, and apparently he was dealing with some dude who'd retired from Microsoft who bought five $8,000 power amps, one for each channel of his home theatre system. Total madness right there; money to burn in full effect.

Zoinks! That is pricey merchandise. It's a kick reading the reviews at stereophile.com for the high-end shit. There was one for a Boulder Amps phono stage that was something like 17,000 clams. That was just the phono stage, mind you; you still need the preamp that they also reviewed, which was another $23,000. Seems just a tad excessive; but then again, the reviewer was practically babbling nonstop superlatives. Just sell the house, and you'd have a hell of a hi-fi system to rock your cardboard box!

Hmm ... so they don't only carry crap. And who knew they carried turntables? When the Doctor was getting a car alarm and car CD player there, he perused their home audio, and it was pretty ho-hum. Obviously not the same merch at every store, but this one was in outer SE Portland, so what can one expect?

Eat ass, eyeballs. Or however it goes.

Magnolia Hi-Fi, shit. If you're looking for some mass-produced, overpriced box with a bunch of flashing lights on the front and ho-hum sound quality, maybe. That there is the new Classic line from Naim Audio, which is sure to bring the rock with previously unheard-of quality.

That's why all of Greg's kids wear lifejackets at home!

How 'bout some of these beauties?

What, is she trying to lose weight by constantly vomiting?

Eh? You left off "Trask's Daddy," fucktard, of course DFA didn't vote yet!

Oh, Trask, your stalker-like preoccupation with the Doctor's sexual persuasion and personal hygeine habits is so adorable. Nice job on the poll, too. Keep up the good work, slugger!

Gee, Sisu, does this mean we can't hang out anymore? Why don't you and Caveman go kick the shit out of each other, or whatever you do to get your rocks off? Later, hater.

As far as good books for adults (assuming here that you don't mean "adult books"), try: Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser The Tortilla Curtain by TC Boyle The Lord of the Rings box set (there's gotta be one) by JRR Tolkien Stupid White Men by Michael Moore is supposed to be good, although DFA hasn't read it yet For the kids, how about some new handguns or rifles? Draft them into your own private home-protection army, so to speak?