ivan

just post a pic of yer pack after sir isaac newton had his way w/ it and that'll be all that's required

But then where would I keep the beer? in yer pardner's pack - duh!

rob - you'd be happier dude if you were leading w/ no pack!

nice to see the storms finally did get you bastards! at least you made the summit, my first wa pass climb got the same storm, but only one pitch up...

where was your fucking TAUNTAUN m'lad? waiting for me at the summit of course, for i will not deign to trod the aasgard path w/ my radiant feet again wish i had pix - regretably, the wet did in me partners camera, which along w/ his stuart plummet, brought his tally to digital items destroyed on the trip to three

quit fucking w/ my enigma-maticness but yeah, in less artistic speak, we climbed the s side route, though stopped about 20 meters below the summit when the rain switched over to hail - we had no gear at all - toy ice hammers for me, but steel crampons - josh w/ an axe, but alum-cramps - josh was in charge of all the beta and i was just detailed to bring my award-winning personality - i'd have advised at least having a 50 meter rope in the conditions, which were pretty much snow, snow, snow - saw the tracks of the team that just did the tr on the ne face and ascended their descent line till where we jumped off onto a rock rib left, just 30 meters or so below the notch. climbed a pitch and a half or so of rock up and right, went around a corner left and ended up a steep snow section below an easy looking chimney below the summit - low vis, rain/hail, lack of long enough rope to rap back down w/o any other webbing/gear and other general lame-factors led to our plenty-hasty descent - glad we did it too, as the whole mountain faded into cloud by the time we reached camp

Trip: Mt Redoubt - Dodging Da Po-Po on Da Depot Date: 6/25/2008 Trip Report: Dodging Da Po-Po on Da Depot The augors read poorly – amerikkkan official vehicles at the canuckistan trail head, deep in enemy territory on depot creek – were we being watched? Could they hear?!? Who needs a police state when the natural state of things is a road as wretched as this? – sapling thickets everywhere stretching over and against and across and into – 2 miles “bent double, like old beggars under sacks, knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge” – safety check at the border, tin-foil helmets ON – advice for the depot creek trail: stay on the FUCKING trail! do not, we beseech you, we implore you, cross the creek on a lark unless the devils club is your true scepter and mistress huckleberry your domina The reward for our first few hours of labor A swift kick in the nuts later we emerge into alpine snowy/swampy goodness to see mt redoubt We wander across a broken and barren flood-plain to find pimp-station #1 nestled amongst the blocks and slag of the seasonally slicing torrents Joshk in full uniform and featuring his highly developed game-face, proudly on parade on the depot The author surrounded by the distractions of civilization too dear to be left behind – note the serious shellacking to which the vital vino has already submitted Clouds came and went the night as we spent the intertwining hours in the “riots, banquets and sports” which those who are addicted in the vain courses of eternal youth do in order that they may, by them, become The Bard's circumspect, unlettered, rude and sallow companions– in the morning it was up and bacon and fruit-bits and cigarettes and moving over the vast and flat expanse of the redoubt glacier – the mathematical perfection of every snow line and the untrammeled majesty of the surreal scene was pronounced, but off set perhaps by the perceptible degree to which the predicted sunny weather was dematerializing Wisps of mist streaking over the angelic-upper pitches of redoubts ne face – I can see why this jewel must be so sought after At the col, we beheld the folly of the forecaster - woe from the west! Bear bedraggled and bedrenched! “I too am untranslatable…I sound my barbaric yawp from the rooftops of the world!” Start epic…now. A week and another long trip later, what the gap in the extant pictures indicates to my quailing memory is clear – quotes, merely snippets, and priceless ones, you must furnish he image to fit – “why is it so much more goddamn cold/dark/windy/icy on the SOUTH side of this mountain?” - “‘redoubt’ means fortress” – “rock!” – “why did I bring aluminum crampons again?” – “did you get this rope at toys’r’us?” – an exchange: “you want me to throw down the rope? I think I could hold you over the other side” “uhh, I dunno. How hard were those first moves?” “um, well, they weren’t too hard, but if you fall here, you will die” “throw it down!” Nervous memories – rain – wind – hail – fog and rending fog – rappelling on a joke rope, maybe 15 meters long? - rappelling off a loose block with a nut in a piece of tat I salvaged higher up and our only gear! – big long slide into the whiteness and the end of earth waiting there if’n it pops In the end we persevere and count it climbed – backtracking on our foot-track across the now ping-pong rendered depot glacier, the clouds begin to break as we turn the bench and begin descending towards lake ouzel Hanging snow glaciers over the lake Blocks awaiting the Great Reduction At camp Scotland came for a visit and brought the Moors with him, but damn it, where’s the whiskey with the wine gone? There is but one remedy when a man’s soul and spirit has become a damp and drizzling November The bluebird arrived a day later then the goat entrails portended Redout’s ne face is a clarion call In the end, like everything, it meant nothing and everything – we saw god – really, no shit – he’s from Serbia, he hides out on the chilliwack river road – we saw him, josh and me – no shit, you can google it – there he was, we’d pulled over to retch and puke and drink some more after the gut-pounding first 3 miles of road back down – stopped beside us, the first person we’d seen in days – he drove a mini-van w/ a jesus-fish on the back – he had a Molotov cocktail in an mgd bottle and a scaling knife – he introduced himself but we didn’t understand his name – he needed food – he needed money for fuel – he offered us a leather jacket for 10$ - he settled for 2 american spirits – stories of Kentucky, of jail, of the pope and jews and authorities out to get him – “are you in the army?”– a great big box’o’wine smile on my face and the other on my prison-shank – the cloud of dust as we gave up on salvation and settled for being merely ordinary men

july 5 to september 5

talk about exciting - the storm hit as we reached the big ledge w/ the pillar - we hunkered down to take it and it became kinda comical as it got worse and worse - lots of creative solutions were found, since we just had soft shells that after 30 minutes became utterly soaked - used my trash compacter bag ghetto-style as a lap warmer (it had our sleeping bags inside) - the walnut-sized hail was fucking painful, so turned my half z-rest into a smashing alpine cape by punching two holes in either end w/ a nut tool and using a sling as the clasp - the hail eventually covered everything 2-3 inches high the most impressive shit was the waterfall that drains that whole face section between backbone and serpentine - what was a slender, white stream when we passed became a raging brown torrent, continously shitting giant boulders from high above - the snow cone below was completly covered in black stones when the storm passed - about half an hour into the storm, bummed that the 420 was upon us but inobservable, i looked behind me only to see the crack system we were parked next to explode in a tremdous geyser of water, soil and hail, covering our pack and feet and continuing to flow for another hour - as for us, i was willing to stay on our ledge after the storm and endure a wet bivy (the sun at least broke out for the last hour of the day) in order to get the summit, but my newbie partner was rather less than impressed w/ this, only his second climb (the other being the day before, when he took a huge fall on the lower n ridge of stuie and watched his pack plummet several hundred feet to the ground, destroying most it contents!) so, in the end, we had an orderly bunch of raps off the face and were back to the car a bit before midnight - we had an agreeable time at castle rock yday (goddam canary's a bit of alright) then came back to the 'couve

don't put your boots in yer pack, just climb the route in'em! napping at the notch (assuming you do the full ridge) is fun approach from mountie creek (good luck not getting lost) and descend the sherpa (should still be in good shape - bring axe and cramps)

so it sounds like they were hit by an avi while in camp, not while boarding?

he seemed like he was around the bend angry in the past few years - the world is less a place w/o him, but holy-fuck i can't imagine him wanting anyone to shed a tear over his demise - truly a master of language

josh n' i spent our whole jeff trip channeling this tune "you n' me, getting lewd, w/ the food, if that's what you're into"

where is this again? how far from da 'couve?

a cwaaaazy solo for sure

if you do the left variation of the route, you can leave all the rock gear, plus all but 1-2 picketts and maybe 3 screws behind.

jeff from the road deeeeeeeep snow in the woods jeff from around sentiniel hill? a lot of up and down and annoy-ness here strong winds on the approach day - cool lenticular around hood the route from across the way - note the scrumcious rimmed-up summit pinancle on the far right ahhh, it ain't easy be'n a pimp - wine n' smokes n' the sun toolz these guys will eat out of your hand, and peck out your eyes unless you throw snowballs at them! moon-set on the morning of the climb - and no, it ain't photoshopped! looking down on jeff park - lakes just starting to show up the dog routes of hood n' adams josh's feet went to shit, so i set off to solo the route yummmy crevasse below! traversing above the 'schrund - a fall here would get you out of paying your taxes next year the landscape around camp settled 12 inches in 2 days - finally a haze blew in and the death-by-solar-rays diminished as the sun-rings formed

nice! and jealous too - i tried like hell to talk my partner into doing francis after denali but he just wouldn't budge from his wine-bottle!

yes, they took my to court over it, though i don't know if it was the worst "raking" imaginable - basically i just bought the pass before i showed up, gave it to the prosecutor, and he sent me home - i did miss a full day of work over it though, but that was mostly spent in a park drinking now i practice guerilla terrorism and dismantle/destroy every sign i think i can get away w/ - gives you a reason to carry a saw and wrenches

road ends about a mile from the trailhead

Trip: Mt Jefferson - Pimp Fest on the Jeff Park Date: 6/19/2008 Trip Report: spent 2 days in the vicinity of oregon's neglected step-child - shame she's so overlooked as overall it's a much manlier mtn than hood - figured, as a good uva alum, i'd run out of excuses not to do my founders namesake - have always laughed and derided the tr's of folks doing this in summer so figured this was the ideal time - sick, sick skiing all over the place, if only i could ski - tree wells 10 feet deep in jeff park - out w/ pimp-master joshk, back from a long hiatus studying mandarin chinese and tantric masturabting techniques in tulsa and tibet, respectively. the jeff park glacier is steeeeep, and very much like a snowcone at the moment. the most notable parts of the climb are the slogtacular hike in, currently remarkably annoying given the snowpack, and the uber-direct descent strait down whitewater creek that we cooked up once our supply appeared in danger of being kicked in just a few hours - holy hell this was a fun way to walk out! 40 foot sump holes in the creek eventually giving way to raging rapids and waterfalls. at one point in the vertical forest i slipped on ice and began accelerating towards a sodden demise when a perfectly placed sapling hit me just where the good lord split me (so says the poet) - don't think i've ever had such a hematoma in so unusual place ('cept that one sweet, sweet summer evening in kansas city, so many moons ago) fantastic trip - didn't see another soul thursday to saturday - came home and got drunk at a kids b-day party and slept on the floor while being treated like a human pinata - good times pix to follow if i can get motivated Approach Notes: snow x 30000000

not so early that it's too dark to make certain you're in the right place but not so light that everything but the kitchen sink's comign down on top of you

no shit

i didn't let myself go there until after i came back from the mountain, and only then after a pitcher or 4 at the west rib

i solo at crags and in the alpine regularly, but generally either on things i've done roped before or that are supposed to be easier than 5.8. i find soloing to be tremendously fun and confidence building, not to mention occasionally scary - soloing is kinda like regular climbing X 10. soloing routes like the se corner at beacon is just an incredible expereince that can't be reproduced w/ a partner.