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ivan

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Everything posted by ivan

  1. ivan

    Lazy Sod

    They'll fuck anything. quite similiar to their drinking policy too
  2. cogito como spray. y tu brute?
  3. cogito ergo spray
  4. I am trying to set up the "search inside the book" feature on amazon...maybe if you reload the page enough times, you can print out an almost complete copy it wouldn't be the same w/o the doodly stick figures doing tai-chi
  5. these guys (n' gals) would know just to with these bastards!
  6. ivan

    Lazy Sod

    that doesn't seem so different from what modern man can and does do (even italians, once deprived of their scooters) - the main reason roman legions could cover so much ground was their excellent road systems
  7. ivan

    Lazy Sod

    scarcely a hundred years ago zulus were running 50 miles aday (and killing honkies at the end of it) barefoot in a country famous for its thorns n' burrs cavemen probably woulda sucked at call of duty 4 though
  8. that's true - babysitters generally get the boot if they take a 3 hr nap on the couch while the youngsters watch "alien" at max volumn on the big screen home stereo, stuffing their pie-holes full of cheesy-poofs
  9. can you please transcribe the whole thing onto a wipeboard, take pix of them, then email it to my broke ass? ok thanx bye!
  10. okay ya'll, my ego's full now - move along and since i'm grounded for the weekend babysitting while my wife gallivants around the pacific northwest for 4 days w/ her back east lesbian friends, you'll have to settle for a tr of taking the chilluns to omsi and throwing homeless folks into the williamette (though i may try to get her to take along the aforementioned camera for some video you won't give a fuck 'bout even if it's sideways)
  11. this would be tracking right w/ the whole "me being made in His image" thang
  12. Read bits of Deuter after listening to a Hitchens debate. What's in Leviticus? -instructions on how to slaughter fattened lambs/doves/oxen/bunnies/geckoes/etc - when it's permissible to fuck your slaves/daughters/enemies/livestock - when you can kill your neightors for wearing funny clothes/looking at you the wrong way/looking at your stuff/etc. seriously, the bible is a critical bathroom book - always entertaining, conducive to getting your business done and getting the fuck out of there, and great in the case of a variety of emergencies
  13. Hey, goddammit, I want to read a TR about this. well then, here ya go thanks for the opportunity to walk through tr's-gone-by kev and spank my great big spray-organ!
  14. surely you read the atheist's bible!?!
  15. and jay, i can't believe a man w/ your immense capacity for reading mind-booglingly long-winded and obscure crap couldn't complete the big B! dude, read dude-er-ronomy or leviticus - seriously - you'd the most
  16. i'm too important a man to watch a 6 minute history clip was this a babel-fish kinda thang? folks looking to give the big book away firfree - you never know when you'll need emergency toilet/rolling papers
  17. Well then Ivan you must come up North and consume massive quantities and do some climbing with my crew! lord, the worst fucking hangover i ever had in my life was in the 'ham, waking up on the floor of the hovel mike layton was squatting in, just a few hours after mikey had almost gotten us all killed having threatened a nice homeless crackhead lady - it was 100 degrees at 9 in the morning and i puked in the burger king parking lot - then things got worse over the drive back to the 'couve - ever since then i've been like, yo fuck b-ham!
  18. it won't be nice, but you could get up it if you had too you gotta have some sun n' wind to dry it out after a buncha wet, and it's been raining today...if its soaked htough it makes the corner feel more satisfying
  19. ah, just to piss of the boner, i have two! and an even bigger offwidth up there as a variation jensen's rimbjob i always figured since i've actually climbed w/ you b4 kev that i shouldn't jump on the dogpiles that routinely from ontop of you - should i take your complaint as an encouragement to end that policy? what the fuck do you care what i write? why don't you go play w/ your kids instead of reading my weak boogie shit if it offends you?
  20. They obviously aren't interested in pussy i'll keep putting the balls on the tee, you can keep knocking'em over the fences
  21. fucking dogs n' horses, but no cats?
  22. i can't see why a hawtie like this would need to settle for mr. ed
  23. don't shit on the trash bag - here it is in action! before the storm
  24. ivan

    thanks W

    cc.com, the online equivalent to hanging out outside the mission shelter - sweaty, angry-eyed-looking motherfuckers occasionally screaming "the government!" don't blame me, i voted for jefferson davis!
  25. no worries - i recollected i had a meeting this afternoon anyhow - either of you fools playing 2morrow?
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