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allthumbs

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Everything posted by allthumbs

  1. Bout time this shithole got stirred up again. It's sucked for the last two or three weeks. Everybody sucks. Suck it Caveman you know you like it.
  2. AK, bring Visa!
  3. heh, if I wear some of Beck's kevlar falsies will AlpineK buy me a drink?
  4. Personally, I always get good customer service, from various different companys. My method: (Rule 1) Don't call them up and say, "Heh, asshole, your goddamn gloves are a piece of shit. I've worn them twice and they're coming apart. Fix the fuckers or talk to my attorney." ...this is guaranteed to get you totally shithouse service and a nasty attitude from the customer service rep. (Rule 2) Be very nice and cooperative with the customer service rep. Tell them about all of their product you own, and how happy you are with it. Tell them the item in question is failing for some reason and would they please help you out. Basically kiss ass and pump em' up. They will literally bend over backwards for you at that point. ...works for me!
  5. Quityurbitchin' Icebaby. Phack, whata waste-o' bandwidth.
  6. Sobo...unless you're workin on an original, don't you know about cut and paste?
  7. Well that goes without saying.
  8. allthumbs

    TRUE COLORS

    Be careful what you wear (or don't wear), when working under your vehicle...especially in public. A couple drove their car to K-Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with her shopping, while he fixed the car there in the lot. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underwear turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand up his shorts, and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found her husband-who was standing idly by. The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his head...
  9. Anywhere further east than Silverton...bring flotation and thermos of Irish coffee.
  10. Truckin' Truckin' got my chips cashed in. Keep truckin', like the do-dah manTogether, more or less in line, just keep truckin' on. Arrows of neon and flashing marquees out on Main Street.Chicago, New York, Detroit and it's all on the same street.Your typical city involved in a typical daydreamHang it up and see what tomorrow brings. Dallas, got a soft machine; Houston, too close to New Orleans;New York's got the ways and means; but just won't let you be, oh no. Most of the cast that you meet on the streets speak of true love,Most of the time they're sittin' and cryin' at home.One of these days they know they better get goin'Out of the door and down on the streets all alone. Truckin', like the do-dah man. Once told me "You've got to play your hand"Sometimes your cards ain't worth a dime, if you don't lay'em down, Sometimes the light's all shinin' on me;Other times I can barely see.Lately it occurs to me What a long, strange trip it's been. What in the world ever became of sweet Jane?She lost her sparkle, you know she isn't the sameLivin' on reds, vitamin C, and cocaine,All a friend can say is "Ain't it a shame?" Truckin', up to Buffalo. Been thinkin', you got to mellow slowTakes time, you pick a place to go, and just keep truckin' on. Sittin' and starin' out of the hotel window.Got a tip they're gonna kick the door in againI'd like to get some sleep before I travel,But if you got a warrant, I guess you're gonna come in. Busted, down on Bourbon Street, Set up, like a bowlin' pin.Knocked down, it get's to wearin' thin. They just won't let you be, oh no. You're sick of hangin' around and you'd like to travel;Get tired of travelin' and you want to settle down.I guess they can't revoke your soul for tryin',Get out of the door and light out and look all around. Sometimes the light's all shinin' on me;Other times I can barely see.Lately it occurs to me What a long, strange trip it's been. Truckin', I'm a goin' home. Whoa whoa baby, back where I belong,Back home, sit down and patch my bones, and get back truckin' on.Hey now get back truckin' home.
  11. The Spar Tree in Darrington...bring weapons.
  12. Snifter, Flute & Stein, BarristersMembers of all major Bars (and Taverns)Harvey D. Wallbanger, Managing PartnerThomas J. Collins, Of CounselWe proudly use Summons & Shyster,legal process servers for all the great law firms,including Dewey Cheatham & Howe.Habeas This... The crusty old managing partner finally passed away, but his firm kept receiving calls asking to speak with him. "I'm sorry, he's dead," was the standard answer. Finally, the receptionist who fielded the calls began to realize it was always the same voice, so she asked who it was and why he kept calling. The reply: "I used to be one of his junior associates, and I just like to hear you say it." [ 03-23-2002: Message edited by: trask ]
  13. Pam's Chocolate Cake/ Muffin/ Bar (no flour) 2/3 cup 100% soy protein isolate 3 tablespoon cocoa 3 large eggs 1 teaspoon baking powder 1/4 cup vegetable oil 2 tablespoon fructose 1 tablespoon peanut butter; melted with oil Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Stir together all the dry ingredients. Beat together all the wet ingredients. Stir into the dry ingredients with a fork until blended smooth, adding enough water to get a thick pasty consistency. Spread in a sprayed loaf pan or four muffin tins (fill the remainder with water to prevent warping the pan. Bake approximately 15 minutes. Cut 4 bars Homestyle Bike Snack Bar JoJo's modification of George's Bar1/4 cup butter, melted, or oil 4 large eggs; beaten 1 cup flour 1/2 teaspoon baking powder 1/2 cup nonfat milk powder 3/4 cup rolled oats 1 teaspoon salt 1 3/4 cup sugar or brown sugar 2 cups raisins or dried fruit and chopped 2 1/2 cups walnuts; chopped 3/4 cup chocolate chips (optional) Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 9x13 pan. Beat together eggs and oil, sift together dry ingredients except fruit. Add flour to eggs, combine, then stir in fruit, nuts, and chips. Spread evenly in pan, bake 30 minutes, they are still soft when done. Cool, cut into 24 pieces, wrap in foil and freeze. Getting Even Energy Bars By: Bonnie Rider-Martin 1/2 cup oil substitute, fruit based, or 3/4 cup smashed banana 1 cup fructose 2 tablespoon Molasses 4 large egg whites or 2 eggs 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 1/4 cup cocoa; optional 2 cups 10 grain cereal; ground in blender 2 cups flour, unbleached 1/2 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon baking powder 2 cups chocolate chips; optional 1 1/2 cups chopped nuts; optional Makes 12 2 ounce bars. 291 calories, 63 grams carbs, 7 grams protein, 2 fat. With add-ins, 562 calories, 99 grams carbs, 15 grams protein, 20 fat. Preheat oven to 350 degrees, grease a 9 inch by 13 inch pan. Mix all the dry ingredients except the add-ins. Cream the oil substitute, molasses and sugar, ad the vanilla. Mix with a beater- it gets very thick and sticky. Stir in the add ins. Spread evenly in the pan, bake 25-30 minutes. Cut while still warm. Calories, Fat, Carbos,Protein ~2 oz. Plain Getting Even Bar 291cal, F2g, C63g, P7g 2 oz Sinful Getting Even Energy Bar 562cal, F20g, C99g, P15g 2 oz Power Bar, Original 230cal, F2.5g, C45g, P10g 2.3 oz. Power Bar, Harvest type 240cal, F4.5g, C45g, P7g 2.4 oz. Clif Bar 250cal, F2g, C52g, P4g 3.75 oz. Pemmican Fruit Bar 420cal, F13g, C59g, P17g George's Power Bars-no bake 1/2 cup honey or molasses 1/2 cup peanut butter, or cashew or almond 1 cup nonfat milk powder, non-instant 1 cup raisins/dried fruit or chocolate ch; optional 1/2 cup shredded coconut; optional Knead all the ingredients together, adding enough milk powder to form a stiff but not crumbly dough. Shape into 1 inch by 3 inch logs. Roll in optional coconut or confectioner's sugar. Chill. George's Energy Bar- Fruit-filled 1 cup raisins 1 cup dried blueberries 2 cups chopped dates 2 cups chopped dried apples 2 cups chopped dried apricots 2 cups chopped dried prunes 8 oz almond or peanut butter 1/2 cup sunflower seeds 8 cups rolled oats 12 oz pancake mix (complete)(3 cups) 16 oz honey Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Grease a large cookie sheet. Knead together all the fruit and the nut butter. Knead in sunflower seeds, rolled oats, and pancake mix. Add honey and knead until blended. Press out onto tin 3/8 to 1/2 inch thick and as even as possible. Using a table knife, press the bar lines into the sheet. Bake about 20 minutes until top is light brown. Freeze very well if individally wrapped and then put in a ziplock. Ellen notes: boost the protein with 1-2 cups of vanilla protein powder or dried milk. Bill Patterson's Chocolate-dipped Deluxe Overnight No-Bake Power Bar 1 cup rolled oats 1/2 cup sesame seeds, toasted and ground 1/2 cup dried apricots; chopped fine 1/2 cup raisins; chopped fine 1 cup shredded unsweetened dried coconut 1 cup almonds; blanched, chopped or sliv 1/2 cup nonfat dried milk powder 1/2 cup toasted wheat germ 2 teaspoon butter or margarine 1 cup white corn syrup or 3/4 cup honey 3/4 cup sugar 1/4 cup chunky peanut butter 1 teaspoon orange or lemon extract 2 teaspoon grated orange or lemon peel 12 oz chocolate chips; 2 cups 4 oz paraffin, food grade or 3/4 cup butter Toast the sesame seeds in a frying pan for about 7 minutes, until golden,Ellen's note- then grind coarsely. Toast the oats in a 300 degree oven in a 10 inch by 15 inch baking pan for 25 minutes, stirring to prevent scorching. Mix the seeds, apricots, raisins, coconut, almonds, dry milk, and wheat germ; mix well. Mix hot oats into dried fruit mixture. Butter the hot baking pan; set aside. In the frying pan, combine corn syrup or honey and sugar; bring to a rolling boil over medium high heat and quickly stir in the peanut butter, orange extract, and orange peel. At once, pour over the oatmeal mixture and mix well. Quickly spread in buttered pan and press into an even layer. Then cover and chill until firm, at least 4 hours or overnight. DIPPING FOR CHOCOLATE COATING Cut into bars about 1 1/4 by 2 1/2 inches. Combine chocolate chips and paraffin in to top of a double boiler. Place over simmering water until melted; stir often. Turn heat to low. Using tongs, dip 1 bar at a time into chocolate, hold over pan until it stops dripping , then place on wire racks set above waxed paper. With paraffin, the coating firms very quickly, bars with butter in the chocolate coating may need to be chilled. When firm and cool), serve bars, or wrap individually in foil. Store in the refrigerator up to 4 weeks; freeze to store longer. Makes about 4 dozen bars, about 1 ounce each. Per piece: 188 cal.; 4.4 g protein; 29 g carbo.; 9.8 g fat; 0.6 mg chol.; 40 mg sodium. Bars of Iron By: Eric Conrad 1 cup raisins 1/2 cup golden raisins 1/3 cup butter or margarine 1/2 cup sugar 1 large egg 1 1/4 cup whole wheat flour 1/4 cup toasted wheat germ 1/2 cup blackstrap molasses 1 cup dried nonfat milk 1 cup almonds; sliced 1 cup quick cooking oats 1/2 cup nonfat milk 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon baking powder Bakes at 350 degrees for approx. 30 minutes. Butter/grease a 9 inch by 13 inch pan. Chop raisins (using a food processor if possible). Cream butter, sugar, molasses and egg. Combine flour, dry milk, wheat germ, baking powder, baking soda, salt and ginger. Blend flour into creamed mixture with liquid milk. Stir in oats, raisins, and half the almonds (if desired). Pour into greased 13x9x2 inch pan and spread evenly. Sprinkle with remaining almonds (if desired). Cool in pan and cut into 1x4 inch bars, or 24-30 pieces. Energy Bars- Unbaked By: American Running Association Running and Fitnews1 cup rolled oats 1/2 cup wheat germ 1/2 cup oat bran 1/2 cup vanilla protein powder 1 cup crunchy peanut butter 1 cup raisins or dried fruit and chopped 1 cup chocolate chips 1 cup light Karo syrup Mix it all well.Freeze in bar shapes. []Delphene's Protein Bar Recipe[/] By: Irononline Archive 3 1/2 cups rolled oats 1 1/2 cups dried milk 1 tablespoon cinnamon 1 cup lite syrup 2 scoops protein powder 2 large egg whites or 1 egg 11/4 cup orange juice 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 1 cup raisins or dried fruit and chopped Line cookie sheet with waxed paper and preheat oven to 325 degrees. Mix all the ingredients thoroughly. Spread onto sheet, press cutting lines in to make 10 pieces. Bake 15 minutes untill golden brown, cut apart, then cool and wrap. Store airtight at room temperature for up to 2 weeks. Emergency Ration By: various survival sites 3 cups rolled oats, barley, or wheat 2 1/2 cups nonfat milk powder 1/2 package jello powder, citrus 1 cup sugar 2 tablespoon honey 3 tablespoon water Preheat oven to 300 degrees. Heat together water and honey, stir in jello powder. Stir dry ingredients together, stir in jello water, mix well. Then add additional water 1 tablespoon at a time, just until mixture can be formed into two bars. Dry in oven, wrap in foil to store. Each bar is 1000 calories. May be eaten as is, or cooked in a pint of water. [ 03-23-2002: Message edited by: trask ]
  14. allthumbs

    TRUE COLORS

    http://www.communityseed.org/html/untitled.html(give it a few seconds to load)
  15. I like to get up about 5:30 AM, grab my pard, fire the boat and get in some slalom skiing before work...weather permitting of course.
  16. http://ponetwork.com/PoliceHumor/JerrySticker.html
  17. allthumbs

    I'm drunk

    http://iqx.ionichost.com/other/instest.html
  18. A police officer pulls me over, comes up to the window and asks, "You drinkin'?" I looked up at him and replied, "You buyin'?" [ 03-22-2002: Message edited by: trask ]
  19. That'd cause some serious 'roid' problems down the road. Poor Sparky...that's gotta hurt!
  20. Did old Sparky finally blow his butt plug??
  21. Sisu for President!!!
  22. allthumbs

    Joke 4

    An old couple was sitting on the porch in their rockers, when the wife took her cane and hit him on the head as hard as she could. After he got over the stun he asked,"What was that for?" "That's for all the bad sex you've been giving me over the years", she replied. After a while the husband took his cane and hit her so hard it knocked her completely out of the chair. As she got back in the chair and gathered herself she asked,"Now what was that for?" He replied, "For knowing the difference."
  23. I soloed Candy Burkhalter...a very climactic experience.
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