allthumbs

I think the reason it's all over is most of us are bored at work, addicted to this and other sites, stuck inside more often than not, unhappy with our personal lives to some degree and just plain ready to blow chunks.

ALFRED JARRY(1873 - 1907) UBU ROIOU LES POLONAIS (1896) Table des matières

Postmodernism as 'Pataphysics Institutionalized by Douglas Puchowski

Freud Rules!!!

WAAAH! AND HE'S GOTTA HAVE A DICK THAT'S A MONSTER!! WAAAAAAAAH!... That's me!! That's me! ooh! ... oooohh, youvoluptouns Manhattan Island clit.. Take me... I'm yours, youhole... Fulfill my... wildest... dreams!.... Ooooh! Anything for you, my most seductive, seclusive... pop star ofa man... picture this if you can: bead jobs! knotted nylons! bamboocanes! three unreleased recordings of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Youngfighting in the dressing-room of the Fillmore East! Why, 'nenchilada wrapped with pickle sauce shook up and down in between adonkey's legs until he can't it stand anymore! All this and more,Howie! Including! an electric coolde pony harness, with fuelinjection... fuel injection... fuel injection...

You see, there seems to be some kind of a communication problem, honey... because I... I am a lonely guy from outta town, y'know an'... an' I want some ACTION... what I'm talkin' about is, I wanna... a-a-steaming... succulent... ever-widening, gooey, drippy, runny kind of a hole with a... with... how shall I put this... what say we hop in the trunk of your Gremlin AN' GET OUR ROCKS OFF...

Lemme tell you 'bout the Mud Shark...The origins of the Mud Shark are as follows: There's a motel inSeattle, Washington called the Edgewater Inn. The Edgewater Inn'sbuilt on a pier.. so that means that when you look out your windowyou don't see any dirt -- it's got a bay or something out in yourbackyard,,, And to make it even more interesting, in the lobby ofthe aforementioned motel there's a bait and tackle shop where theresidents can go down whenever they want to, and rent a fishing poleand some preserved minnows and schlep back up to their rooms, openthe window, stick their little pole outside and within a few minutesactually catch a fish of some sort that they can bring into theirmotel room and do whatever they want with it... you know what Imean? Now in this bay there's quite a variety of ah... fish! Notonly do they have mud sharks up there, they got little octopussesthat you can catch. And all these denizens of the deep can come inreal handy... Let's say you were a travelling Rock and Roll bandcalled the Vanilla Fudge. Let's say one night you checked into theEdgewater Inn Motel with a 8mm movie camera, enough money to rent apole, and just to make it more interesting -- a succulent young lady(Mnaaaah!) with a taste for the bizarre... My mind drifts back to ameeting, a chance meeting in the Chicago O'Hare Airport where themembers of the Vanilla Fudge told Don Preston about a home moviethey made at the Edgewater Inn with a Mud Shark. I'm gonna tell you,this dance, the Mud Shark, is sweeping the ocean!... OutYou go outSo far outYou do the Mud Shark. baby ... etc

quote: Originally posted by Dru:

The Dong with the Luminous Nose. When awful darkness and silence reignOver the great Gromboolian plain, Through the long, long wintry nights;--When the angry breakers roarthey beat on the rocky shore;-- When Storm-clouds brood on the towering heightsOf the Hills of the Chankly Bore:-- Then, through the vast and gloomy dark,There moves what seems a fiery spark, A lonely spark with silvery rays Piercing the coal-black night,-- A Meteor strange and bright:--Hither and thither the vision strays, A single lurid light. Slowly it wanders,--pauses,--creeeps,--Anon it sparkles,--flashes and leaps;And ever as onward it gleaming goesA light on the Bong-tree stems it throws.And those who watch at that midnight hourFrom Hall or Terrace, or lofty Tower,Cry, as the wild light passes along,-- 'The Dong!--the Dong! 'The wandering Dong through the forest goes! 'The Dong! the Dong! 'The Dong with a luminous Nose!' Long years ago The Dong was happy and gay,Till he fell in love with a Jumbly Girl Who came to those shores one day,For the Jumblies came in a sieve, they did,--Landing at eve near the Zemmery Fidd Where the Oblong Oysters grow, And the rocks are smooth and gray.And all the woods and the valleys rangWith the Chorus they daily and nightly sang,-- 'Far and few, far and few, Are the lands where the Jumblies live; Their heads are green, and their hands are blue And they went to sea in a sieve.' Happily, happily passed those days! While the cheerful Jumblies staid; They danced in circlets all night long, To the plaintive pipe of the lively Dong, In moonlight, shine, or shade.For day and night he was always thereBy the side of the Jumbly Girl so fair,With her sky-blue hands, and her sea-green hair.Till the morning came of that hateful dayWhen the Jumblies sailed in their sieve away,And the Dong was left on the cruel shoreGazing--gazing for evermore,--Ever keeping his weary eyes onThat pea-green sail on the far horizon,--Singing the Jumbly Chorus stillAs he sate all day on the grassy hill,-- 'Far and few, far and few, Are the lands where the Jumblies live; Their heads are green, and their hands are blue And they went to sea in a sieve.' But when the sun was low in the West, The Dong arose and said;----'What little sense I once possessed 'Has quite gone out of my head!'--And since that day he wanders stillBy lake or forest, marsh and hill,Singing--'O somewhere, in valley or plain'Might I find my Jumbly Girl again!'For ever I'll seek by lake and shore'Till I find my Jumbly Girl once more!' Playing a pipe with silvery squeaks, Since then his Jumbly Girl he seeks, And because by night he could not see, He gathered the bark of the Twangum Tree On the flowery plain that grows. And he wove him a wondrous Nose,-- A Nose as strange as a Nose could be!Of vast proportions and painted red,And tied with cords to the back of his head. --In a hollow rounded space it ended With a luminous Lamp within suspended, All fenced about With a bandage stout To prevent the wind from blowing it out;-- And with holes all round to send the light, In gleaming rays on the dismal night. And now each night, and all night long,Over those plains still roams the Dong;And above the wall of the Chimp and SnipeYou may hear the sqeak of his plaintive pipeWhile ever he seeks, but seeks in vainTo meet with his Jumbly Girl again;Lonely and wild--all night he goes,--The Dong with a luminous Nose!And all who watch at the midnight hour,From Hall or Terrace, or lofty Tower,Cry, as they trace the Meteor bright,Moving along through the dreary night,-- 'This is the hour when forth he goes, 'The Dong with a luminous Nose! 'Yonder--over the plain he goes, 'He goes! 'He goes; 'The Dong with a luminous Nose!' [ 03-15-2002: Message edited by: trask ]

'Twas brillig, and the slithy tovesDid gyre and gimble in the wabe;All mimsy were the borogoves,And the mome raths outgrabe. "Beware the Jabberwock, my son!The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!Beware the Jubjub bird, and shunThe frumious Bandersnatch!" He took his vorpal sword in hand:Long time the manxome foe he sought--So rested he by the Tumtum tree,And stood awhile in thought. And, as in uffish thought he stood,The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,And burbled as it came! One two! One two! And through and throughThe vorpal blade went snicker-snack!He left it dead, and with its headHe went galumphing back. "And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?Come to my arms, my beamish boy!O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"He chortled in his joy. 'Twas brillig, and the slithy tovesDid gyre and gimble in the wabe;All mimsy were the borogoves,And the mome raths outgrabe. Lewis Carrol [ 03-15-2002: Message edited by: trask ]

Now why would that interest me? I think you're making a pass at me. Help!!!

Bout' time you bastards started following the rules. I've been trying to set an example since last year. No one listens to me.

You are so full of yourself skinny boy. Your goal appears to be the self-satisfaction and indescribable joy that can only come when horny, nameless strangers laugh out loud at something that you wrote, in a drug induced stupor. I challenge you to the BATTLE-CAGE!

Listen up asseyes come on down here and say that. I'll open up a cana whoop-ass on your monkey.

OOps, meant Locke. Lowry sucked too. Fuck I'm old.don't start with me Dru [ 03-15-2002: Message edited by: trask ]

What the hell is poutine? Don't you mean poontang? I love poontang...try to eat it at least twice a week. It's nutritious and non-fattening. Try it...you'll like it!

quote: Originally posted by Dru: 1) if it was a German product they would never have found that it reduced rope strength. 2) dont pee on your rope, although soaking them in gas or "coca cola" is fine... (what about pepsi?) 3)I dont mark my mid point and i dont have a problem 4) just cut the rope in half and tape it together again with duct tape. TOTALLY SAFE UIAA APPROVED Dru, rumor has it the Canadian Feds. are rapidly closing in. Suggest dismantling grow operation poste haste.

Heh Dru - with the Bugaboos? Have you spent much climbing time there? Has anyone?

What about this gas tax bullshit? Lowry wants to take it out of the voter's hands and shove it through regardless. Personally, I think Lowry is a "crybaby, self-serving egomaniac". I look forward to a new Washington govt.

I spy- robert culp and bill cosby i am one old sumbitch, cause i used to watch that show

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have not been to confession for six months. On top of that, I've been with a loose woman." The priest sighs. "Is that you, little Tommy O'Shaughnessy?" "Yes, Father, 'tis I." "And who might be the woman you were with?" "I shan't be tellin' you, Father. It would ruin her reputation." "Well, Tommy, I'm bound to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda O'Malley?" "I cannot say." "Was it Patricia Fitzgerald?" "I'll never tell." "Was it Bridget O'Shanter?" "I'm sorry, but I'll not name her." "Was it Cathy O'Dell?" "My lips are sealed." "Was it Fiona Mallory, then?" "Please, Father, I cannot tell you." The priest sighs in frustration. "You're a steadfast lad, Tommy O'Shaughnessy, and I admire that. But, you've sinned, and you must atone. Be off with you now." Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend, Sean, slides over and whispers,"What'd you get?" "Five more good leads"

A husband and wife go off to bed. As soon as they settle down, the man leans over and whispers softly "Hey snuggle boopy boops, your little hubby wubby isn't quite ready for nite-nite yet." The wife takes the hint and says "OK, but I have to use the bathroom first." So off she goes, but on her way back she trips over a piece of carpet and lands flat on her face. Her husband jumps up concerned. "Oh my little hunny bunny, is your nosey-wosey all right?" No harm is done, so she jumps into bed and they have mad sex for two hours. Afterwards, the wife goes off to the bathroom again, but on her way she trips over the same piece of carpet and again lands flat on her face on the floor. Her husband looks over and grunts, "clumsy bitch."

Fuck those PM's. I got one a week or so ago on the same subject by an unnamed woman. I've thought about it more and now I say, "Take yur goddamn vitamins and shut the hell up." You wanna play, take the spray! trask Go Ray...good to have your bony ass around again.

Why is it that women over-react to jokes and such? Seems to me that if a woman wants to play with the boys she should be able to take the same shit they do. You see something a bit ribald, forgedaboudit. Go around it. Don't take shit so personal. Especially in "spray". At the workplace, that's different. No sexual stuff please. This is just the way I see it. I'm sure y'all will cut my balls off now.